Gregson in a bar, Holmes conveniently spots movie producer Fenwick (Gary Gansel) drinking with the purportedly glamorous Lydia (Kathy Shook)—the dialogue suggests she could be mistaken for her date’s daughter, but she’s a frankly mature and matronly femme fatale—and somehow tumbles that they’re mixed up in the case. Expert hypnotist Lydia is in league with a loudly-dressed Moriarty (Daniel Rios): their racket is to dupe rich men into believing they are murderers by having them wake up after a date with the mesmerist to find severed fingers in their pockets and then blackmailing them. The plot plays out as it does in the 1945 film, but in drab, hotel-like settings and with any trace of action or excitement rigidly excluded.
Glaser’s Holmes is short, chubby, and wears a flat cap (perhaps after the manner of those German Sherlocks of yore) while sucking on an unlit pipe. For some reason, Anton chooses to cut all Rathbone’s deductions and witty remarks so this sleuth is a tiresome bore as well as a poor stand-in for Doyle’s hero. Watson (Charles Simon) is a blithering idiot who gets lines like “there ought to be a law against fat people owning birds” and responds to an assassin disguised as a beggar with “oh bugger off—I’m on a mission of mercy.” Poor as the leads are, they’re often upstaged by walk-on players—like Ada Span as Mrs Hudson—who can barely get their lines out. Even Shook, the default leading lady, mangles her dialogue, referring to “childless tricks” when she means “childish tricks.” The scene transitions are done with comic book pages that peculiarly run the action backwards.
If you’re a Holmes completist or just curious—www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iad2dYsD7c. Anton has also made Robinson Crusoe (2008), Apocalypse Now (2012), The Passions of Jesus Christ (2012), Aliens (2013), Dead on Arrival (2013), Romeo & Juliet (2014), and Men in Suits (2015).
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Kim Newman is a prolific, award-winning English writer and editor, who also acts, is a film critic, and a London broadcaster. Of his many novels and stories, one of the most famous is Anno Dracula.
Podcasting
Can It Replace the Serials of the ’30’s and ’40’s?
by Lisa Cotoggio
A while back I moderated a panel for the Mystery Writers of America’s New York Chapter Dinner. The topic was “Solving the Promotional Mystery.”
Now while I thought that I had assembled an interesting group of publicists, marketers, and authors, who, I must say, gave an excellent overview of all authors can do to extend the sales and shelf-life of their books, the audience seemed to focus all their questions on one single point: Podcasts. Which, by the way, can be attributed to Jonathan Santlofer’s keen insight on the subject.
Jonathan is podcasting his novel, Anatomy of Fear (jonathansantlofer.com) to what has become a hugely growing audience. He explained how he sets himself up in his writer space, which is located in an old furrier loft on the lower West Side of Manhattan and reads one chapter a week to his listeners, who just love the idea of not only being able to picture his characters come to life by the very author who scribed them, but also imagining the old furrier loft from which he does his esteemed work.
As an author, it made me ponder the thought: are we as authors missing out on a generation of readers whose maturity has impaired their eyesight? Though the answer to that question is quite obvious. We now, through the magical technology of Podcast, have the ability to change it in our favor. And why shouldn’t we?
Looking back to the early days of my childhood, my father used to tell me of the nights he spent with his family gathered around the radio listening intently to every word of The Shadow, The Lone Ranger; and of course, The War of the Worlds, made infamous by the actual belief of an alien attack.
And while I belong to the tail end of the “Babyboomer Generation,” the opening lines to those three shows still haunt the dark corners of my mind merely through memories of conversations with my father, born during the era known as the “Silent Generation”:
Who knows what evil… lurks… in the heart of men? The Shadow knows!
A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty ‘Hi-yo, Silver, away!’ The Lone Ranger!
We interrupt this program to bring….
Riveting. Wouldn’t you agree? Of course you would, which brings us back to our topic: Podcasting. A series of audio or video digital-media files which are distributed over the Internet by syndicated download through Web feeds to portable media players and personal computers. The radio of the future.
Wouldn’t we all like to have that kind of gripping attention by a beloved audience of readers? Yes. And they on the same hand would love to have us read to them. The thought of being able to relive a fascinating part of one’s childhood is a cherished moment, especially late in one’s life.
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A top ten finalist in the 2002 Nevada Film Office 15th Annual Screenwriting Award, Lisa Cotoggio has worked as a script doctor for Summer Moon Productions and with Classical Alliance as a TV series creator and writer.
A Breton Homecoming: Conclusion
by Peter James Quirk
(Note: When Part One ran in the previous issue, I was under the impression that this is a true story, but the author just informed me that is really a work of fiction. I regret this misinformation, though it is still well worth reading.
–Marvin Kaye)
The story thus far…
It is the summer of 1940 during World War II, and the French and British forces have been devastated by Nazi Germany’s Blitzkrieg tactics, although the majority of the British army plus many thousand French soldiers were rescued by the British Royal Navy from the beaches of Dunkirk and transported across the English Channel. The remainder of the French Army, those who weren’t either killed or captured, struggled to make their way home. This included many young men from the North-Western province of Brittany, where the fisherman Yann Le Corr and his friend Padrig anxiously awaited news of Yann’s son (also named Yann). Eventually they learned that Yann was wounded and under the care of a doctor in Nantes, a large city in the Loire Estuary. They resolve to go there in their fishing boat and bring him home. As the story continues, the two fishermen have just arrived in Nantes.
2 (continued)
At that moment, the roar of an engine brought us to our feet. And as our eyes scoured the waterfront, a motorcycle and sidecar turned onto the dock from between two abandoned warehouses. It roared up to the jetty, and the soldier astride the machine, a splendidly attired cavalryman replete with helmet, jodhpurs, and black-leather gaiters, dismounted and unclipped a sub-machine gun from beneath the handlebars. He held it loosely but kept it aimed in our general direction as the man in the sidecar, a ranking officer, stepped out and pulled himself erect beside him.
“Don’t do or say anything stupid,” I warned my volatile companion. “Our story is plausible. I just need to stay alive long enough to tell it.”
At that moment, the officer, a major, called out in fluent French: “Step down from the boat and put your hands on your heads. Then walk toward us slowly.”
As we climbed down to the dock and my back was turned to the Nazis, I whispered nervously to my companion: “Be really careful, Yann. The officer speaks very good French.”
“Where are you from and what is your business?” demanded the major as he approached.
We stopped momentarily, and I somehow shook off my funk as though it were stage fright, and I was back at the auberge in front of an audience preparing to tell one of my famous tales of Breton peasant life:
“We are Breton fishermen, Herr Major,” I said, lowering my hands slowly. “We sail out of Kérity, which lies north-west of Nantes, near the Pointe de Penmarche.”
“Ahh,