A grand event. I rode on Grasshopper, but had Frank walking beside me, felt happier after a while but painfully nervous at first, good natured Hal rode beside me, we went all round the hill, were out two hours and every body big and little laughed at me!
27. Delightful day. Exhibited myself and my folly [she believed she was pregnant] for a second time upon Grasshopper, going without Frank and suffering an agony of fear that should have excited pity rather than mirth. We went to Blesinton, to Tulfarris and home by the ruined cottage, I may call it now. We were out near three hours, but I could not screw up my nerves to a canter.
31. Old Mrs. Tyrrell was here in great glee having hope of work from Mrs. Gore, she has quite altered the look of my poor little foundling in this short time, the child has a happy bright air quite unlike her former stupidity, and is clean and fat; she will get a few thumps I daresay for that is cabin fashion, but she will be kept clean and be well fed and be brought up in habits of active industry. I gave my parcel for the ‘orphan’, queer kind of orphan whose parents are living, to Peggy, and bid her tell Mrs. Quin to tease me no more with her stories, all the consequences of her own misdeeds. She deprived the son of her first husband of his inheritance to give it to the son of her second who is repaying her injustice with merited ingratitude. In managing her house she secreted a private hoard which to the amount of twenty pounds, or more she quilted into her petticoat and always treating her daughters harshly deserved that one of them should run away with a lover she disapproved of and carry this petticoat along with her. Still I am sorry for the old body, and for the seven destitute grand-children whose father should be where I am sorry to say red Pat Quin is, the Quins are a bad set, the whole race.
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 1. [My brother] John [now] actually at the Doune, sitting in the library, walking along the passages, his children in our nursery and then wandering along the banks of the Spey, or in the walks in the plantations, our walk over the shoulder of the Ord to Loch an Eilen, shewing our cottage to his wife, all the places so well remembered, alas! not all the people. How these Highland scenes cling to the heart, what would I give to be among them again, shewing my children the lovely ‘spot where my forefathers dwelt’ to catch the remains of all the noble feelings of the Highlander before steam quite extinguishes the romance of that beautiful country; how different was the love of all our people for us from any sentiment of respect or attachment I have ever met since, and how certainly the recollection of past events and the ages of connexion between Chieftain and vassals, or rather clansmen, excited every warm and every noble feeling.
2. Sir Robert Peel sent for to Windsor, graciously received, ladies [of the Bedchamber] all resigned and Ministers too, Lord John’s tone is very gentlemanly, Lord Stanley’s reply equally correct, there will be no factious opposition.
I had a letter to-day from brother John, who is enchanted with Rothiemurchus all the changes are improvements, he has seen no place so beautiful, the plantations, fine woods, the young forest amply redeeming to the scenery, the effect of the old, he urges a visit from us, kindly and temptingly, and it could easily be done earlier in the season with time to prepare for it. Yet I am not sure that I should be happy in Rothiemurchus with any host but my father at the Doune.
8. The Doctor came to see after us and brought word that Lord Milltown has lost his match with Lord Howth, five hundred pounds and large bets besides, such infatuation. Really Lord Milltown must just be the laughing stock of his own vile set.
9. It is the greatest of pleasures to me listening to good musick. I can recollect alas! not Malibran, for I never heard her, but Grisi, Pasta, Miss Birch, Camporesi, De Begnis, him, she was horrid, Fodor, Naldi, Bartleman, and a dim idea of Mme. Catalani and Mrs. Billington, with Lodor, Cramer and even Salomon once when I was quite a child. My pleasures of this most enchanting kind seem to be over. We are out of the way of everything and were we near them there is asthma on the one hand, cough and fever on the other, quite in the way of any amusements except those quiet and very happy ones to be found either at our own fireside or in the open air of our mountains.
10. We are to have Lord de Grey for our Lord Lieutenant, violently objected to by Mr. O’Connell on account of his very protestant connexions. Lord Eliot as Secretary equally disagreeable to the Mail on account of opinions too liberal8, manners too haughty; no Lord Chancellor—Sir Edward Sugden the most fitted by far would have been but for his wife, the follies of youth paid for most amply in mature age.9 She was his cook and bore him several children before he married her, of course not presentable and he is weak enough to wish to present her. I think there is a coarseness of mind though in the man who could marry, entail as his companion for life so inferiour a person as one of Lady Sugden’s degree must be.
11. Hal went to bed perfectly well, waked at two with asthma, had to get up and never threw the feeling off all night, it came on very badly indeed about seven, yielded to Stramonium10 but returned even worse and did not leave him till noon when he took a light breakfast.
Mr. Moore came loaded with books for our Society and all Chamber’s Educational Course for us, he talked away very agreeably, by the bye has got it into his head that we ought to go back to fasting and other ceremonies certainly enjoined by the rubrick but so long disused that a return would look very popish and be very absurd. My presbyterian education disinclines me to these observances. Lady Milltown also called, sat half an hour or more in great good humour though her Lord is in the midst of racing troubles and the entertainments they had provided for Curragh guests were spread in vain. No guests arrived.
Read Chambers’ on Infant management, a most truly judicious work, drank tea in our own room with all the children, every one of us engaged with the little volumes of Chambers’ Course. Miss Cooper took the ‘Management of Infants.’ Annie the drawing books, Janey the ‘Moral Class book’ and the ‘History of Greece.’ I have my head just now full of ‘infant education’ and having studied it all the morning I gave the book in the afternoon to Miss Gardiner whom I sent for on purpose and held a long discourse with her on the necessity of educating herself by degrees as she is educating her pupils which with the books I give her and my assistance she can easily do.
How much real practical knowledge, judgement, temper, spirits, is necessary in the instruction even of the lower orders. What a serious charge then is such a family as ours, how much good or evil to themselves and the large circle over which even individual influence must extend depends on the habits they are brought up in.
14. All went in to Blesinton on business, the Colonel to a meeting to arrange a Loan fund, Lord Downshire subscribed fifty pounds he was in the chair, the Colonel fifty, Mr. Gore fifty, Mr. George Moore twenty-five, Mr. Finnemor twenty-five, no others as yet, but papers will be sent round to all. I went in to wait and met Ogle Moore, the Colonel and Lord Downshire who begged to be presented to me and indeed I think it very strange he never called upon me, he is the only neighbour who omitted that civility, pompous man they call him, but he is beginning to find out that the airs of grandeur which perhaps suited the style of the world in the days of his youth are quite thrown away on this generation and on me in particular. My old Highland blood laughs at his new pretensions, he is very absurd and very weak and very fond of money but not a bad kind of man.
19. My brother William’s birthday. What a fête day this used to be with us and what it might have been still had there been as much good sense in the family as there is talent. Sometimes when I think of the inheritance he was born to and then feel he is now forty past, and has still to endure some years of India, I do grieve over the waste of happiness that mere carelessness has produced. To what might not my father have attained had he kept his place in his own country, his sons where would they not have been, his daughters also, and his people, it will take more than the next generation to retrieve a few years of folly.
22. Tried to get a kitchen maid for Mrs. Finnemor but fancy I shall fail, the progress of civilisation