James Hogg

The Three Perils Of Man


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the landward lasses, ‘You twa masters are to sleep thegither in here – in o’ this gude bed, ye see, an’ the twa lads in o’ this ane.’ The two young noblemen were standing close together, as behoved in such a room. On the girl addressing them thus, their eyes met each other’s, but were as instantly withdrawn and fixed in the floor, while a blush of the deepest tint suffused the cheeks of both, spreading over the chin and neck of each. The pages contemplated each other in the same way, but not with the same degree of timidity. The English stripling seemed rather to approve of the arrangement, or at least pretended to do so; for he frankly took the other by the hand, and said in a sweet voice, but broad dialect, ‘Weall, yuong Scuot, daghest thou lig woth mey?’ The young Caledonian withdrew his hand, and held down his head: ‘I always lie at my master’s feet,’ said he.

      ‘And so shall you do to-night, Colin,’ said the prince, ‘for I will share this bed with you, and let my lord take the good one.’ ‘I cannot go to bed to-night,’ said Tudor, ‘I will rest me on this chest; I am resolved I sha’n’t go to bed, nor throw off my clothes to-night.’

      ‘Ye winna?’ said May Chisholm, who visibly wanted a romp with the young blooming chief – ‘Ye winna gang til nae bed, will ye nae, and me has been at sic pains making it up til ye? Bess, come here an’ help me, we sal soon see whether he’s gang til his bed or no, an’ that no wi’ his braw claes on neither.’ So saying, the two frolicsome queans seized the rosy stripling, and in a moment had him stretched on the bed, and, making his doublet fly open all at one rude pull, they were proceeding to undress him, giggling and laughing all the while. Prince Alexander, from a momentary congenial feeling of delicacy, put his hand hastily across to keep the lapels of Tudor’s vesture together, without the motion having been perceived by any one in the hurry, and that moment the page flung himself across his master’s breast, and reproved the lasses so sharply that they desisted, and left them to settle the matter as they chose.

      The prince had, however, made a discovery that astonished him exceeding; for a few minutes his head was almost turned – but the truth soon began to dawn on his mind, and every reflection, every coincidence, every word that had been said, and offence that had been taken, tended to confirm it: so he determined, not for farther trial, but for the joke’s sake, to press matters a little further.

      When quietness was again restored, and when the blush and the frown had several times taken alternate sway of the young lord’s face, the prince said to him. ‘After all, my lord, I believe we must take share of the same bed together for this one night. It is more proper and becoming than to sleep with our pages. Besides, I see the bed is good and clean, and I have many things to talk to you about our two countries, and about our two intended brides, or sweethearts let us call them in the meantime.’

      ‘Oh no, no, prince,’ said Tudor, ‘indeed I cannot, I may not, I would not sleep in the same bed with another gentleman – No – I never did – never.’

      ‘Do not say so, my dear lord, for, on my word, I am going to insist on it,’ said the prince, coming close up to him, his eyes beaming with joy at the discovery he had made. ‘You shall sleep by my side tonight: nay, I will even take you in my bosom and caress you as if you were my own sweet dear Lady Jane Howard.’ Tudor was now totally confounded, and knew neither what to say for himself, nor what he did say when he spoke. He held out both his hands, and cried, ‘Do not, prince, do not – I beg – I implore do not; for I cannot, cannot consent. I never slept even in the same apartment with a man in all my life.’

      ‘What, have you always slept in a room by yourself?’ asked the teazing prince.

      ‘No, never, but always with ladies – yes, always!’ was the passionate and sincere reply.

      Here the prince held up his hands, and turned up his eyes. ‘What a young profligate!’ exclaimed he, ‘Mary shield us! Have you no conscience with regard to the fair sex that you have begun so wicked a course, and that so early? Little did I know why you took a joke on your cousin so heinously amiss! I see it now, truth will out! Ah, you are such a youth! I will not go a foot further to see Lady Jane. What a wicked degraded imp she must be! Do not kindle into a passion again, my dear lord. I can well excuse your feigned wrath, it is highly honourable. I hate the knight that blabs the favours he enjoys from the fair. He is bound to defend the honour that has stooped to him; even though (as in the present instance I suppose) it have stooped to half a dozen more besides.’

      A great deal of taunting and ill humour prevailed between these capricious and inexperienced striplings, and sorely was Tudor pressed to take share of a bed with the prince, but in vain – his feelings recoiled from it; and the other, being in possession of a secret of which the English lord was not aware, took that advantage of teazing and tormenting him almost beyond sufferance. After all, it was decided that each should sleep with his own page; a decision that did not seem to go well down at all with the Yorkshire boy, who once ventured to expostulate with his lord, but was silenced with a look of angry disdain.

      CHAPTER FIVE

      He set her on his milk-white steed,

      Himself lap on behind her,

      And they are o’er the Highland hills;

      Her friends they cannot find her.

      As they rode over hill and dale

      This lady often fainted,

      And cried, ‘Wo to my cursed moneye,

      That this road to me invented.’

       Ballad of Rob Roy

      O cam ye here to fight, young man,

      Or cam ye here to flee?

      Or cam ye out o’ the wally west

      Our bonnie bride to see?

       Balled called Foul Play

      IT IS BY this time needless to inform my readers, that these two young adventurers were no other than the rival beauties of the two nations, for whose charms all this bloody coil was carried on at Roxburgh; and who, without seeing, had hated each other as cordially as any woman is capable of hating her rival in beauty or favour. So much had the siege and the perils of Roxburgh become the subject of conversation, that the ears of the two maidens had long listened to nothing else, and each of them deemed her honour embarked in the success of her lover. Each of them had set out with the intent of visiting the camp in disguise; and having enough of interest to secure protections for feigned names, each determined to see her rival in the first place, the journey not being far; and neither of them it is supposed went with any kind intent. Each of them had a maid dressed in boy’s clothes with her, and five stout troopers, all of whom were utterly ignorant of the secret. The princess had by chance found out her rival’s sex; but the Scottish lady and her attendant being both taller and of darker complexions than the other two, no suspicions were entertained against them detrimental to their enterprise. The princess never closed an eye, but lay meditating on the course she should take. She was convinced that she had her rival in her power, and she determined, not over generously, to take advantage of her good fortune. The time drew nigh that Roxburgh must be lost or won, and well she knew that, whichever side succeeded, according to the romantic ideas of that age, the charms of the lady would have all the honour, while she whose hero lost would be degraded – considerations which no woman laying claim to superior and all-powerful charms could withstand.

      Next morning Dan was aroused at an early hour by his supposed prince, who said to him, ‘Brave yeoman, from a long conversation that I have had last night with these English strangers, I am convinced that they are despatched on some traitorous mission; and as the warden is in Northumberland, I propose conveying them straight to Douglas’ camp, there to be tried for their lives. If you will engage to take charge of them, and deliver them safely to the captain before night, you shall have a high reward; but if you fail, and suffer any of them to escape, your neck shall answer for it. How many men can you raise for this service?’

      ‘Our men are maistly up already,’ said Dan; ‘but muckle Charlie o’ Yardbire gaed hame last night wi’ twa or three kye, like oursels.