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CHAPTER 4
When I return to the kitchen, Jasmine has already left for the coach house, taking two plates of food with her.
“I’ll go and talk to her,” Aunty Figgy says, and follows her down the path.
“What’s her problem?” I sigh. “She never used to be so horrible when we lived in the colony. She’s so mean to me all the time. I made a genuine mistake.”
Letti stops eating, and looks at me from behind the spectacles Aunty Figgy has found for her. They make her eyes look huge and round and … guarded? Why is she guarded? What is she holding back?
“What, Letti? Just say it.”
“It’s … it’s …” Her eyes are pleading.
My stomach is knotting. “Come on, Letti,” I snap. “Just tell me, damn it.”
She purses her lips. “It’s that. The way you shout at people. At us. The way you keep showing us that you’re the boss.”
I stare at her. “I don’t. I don’t do that.”
“You do,” she says, and Fez is nodding.
“You do, Ebba,” he says. “And Jas doesn’t like it. She always used to be the leader, when we were sabenzis. She doesn’t like being ordered around.”
“So what am I supposed to do? I am the boss. I didn’t ask to be. I didn’t ask for any of this.” It’s all I can do not to slump down on the table in a miserable heap.
Fez shrugs. “That’s for you to work out.”
Letti’s voice is gentle. “Maybe tone it down a little? Be a little more sensitive to how she . . . how we all are feeling.”
I get up and dump my plate in the sink. Tears are stinging my eyes but I’m not going to cry in front of them.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Letti says, rubbing my shoulder.
Fez brings me a kettle of hot water from the stove. “I can wash up,” he says. “It’s no trouble.”
I wipe my nose with the side of my hand. “It’s fine, I’ll do it. I want to be by myself anyway. You three go. You’ve had a long day – you don’t have to do housework as well.”
And still nobody has asked me why I’m so upset. They’ll fight with me over which bedroom they get, and they’ll watch every little thing I do so they can pick on me about it. But they don’t care that today I was forced to watch twenty-two people mowed down by rifles, and that a tiny baby died because I didn’t save her
They don’t even care that the boy I love is probably lying dead somewhere with half his head blown away.
I stand at the sink watching the water swirl in the bowl. When the sea rose and covered most of the world almost seventeen years ago, did it do it all at once, in a massive tsunami? Or did the rising tide creep higher and higher until it smothered almost everything alive? I feel like the tide of despair is about to wash me away. I’m only just holding on. If only it would all just end now.
I wish the second Calamity would arrive and obliterate us all.
*
I AM STILL BUSY scrubbing the dirty dishes when Isi starts to whine and runs to the door. I look up, and a wave of joy hits me, the surge of relief nearly knocking me to the floor.
Micah is standing in the doorway, holding out his arms, and I fall into them.
“You’re back. You’re back.” I burst into tears, letting out the anguish that has been building all day.
“Shhhh,” he murmurs, “don’t cry, babe.”
But I sob and sob. All the fear, the pain, the hopelessness pours out of me as he holds me tight and rubs my back. His body pressing against me is warm and strong. I relax into him, letting everything wash over me as I concentrate on his breath on my neck, the touch of his lips. After a while he lets me go and gives me his handkerchief to blow my nose.
“I love you, Ebba,” he says as he strokes my hair. I look up into his face, drinking in the features I love – his straight nose, those brown eyes that sparkle in the lamp light, his high cheekbones and the lock of black hair that always falls over his forehead. I thought I’d never see him again, and now that he’s back I’m flooded with feelings I can’t even name.
When at last I’ve calmed down enough to talk coherently, he wants to know everything. I tell him about the Poladion family, about Hal and Cassie. About Lucas and the baby.
“That tiny baby didn’t have a chance without its mother,” he says, placing me in a chair. He fills the kettle and puts it on the stove. “Even if you had saved it, it would probably have died. You haven’t got any way of feeding it, for one thing.”
“I could have sent her to Boat Bay. I’m sure there’s someone there who is breastfeeding a baby. I could have paid someone to look after her.”
“Babe, I know the Boat Bayers. They’re proud. They’re not going to accept a Poladion, no matter how young.” He rinses out the tea pot and spoons fresh tea leaves into it. “You did the right thing choosing Lucas. He saved you – saved all of us by giving you the keys to the prison. It’s right that you repaid him.”
I drop my face into my hands. “I’m not sure he agrees. He’s gone off into the forest. Everybody started to fight about …” I stop, realising Micah doesn’t yet know he’s a citizen. I’m not sure how he’ll take the news. “But where have you been? I thought you were dead. I really thought you were dead.”
“They didn’t catch me. I found another cave higher up and watched the soldiers go into the cave where you were hiding. I seriously thought it was the end for you four, especially when I heard the gunshots. But then they came out again looking pissed off. They were poking around between the rocks, arguing with each other, and then they gave up and went back to the base. That’s when I knew you’d found a way to escape. But with the coup, there was no way back into the city. I’ve been hiding in the hills above Boat Bay, waiting for a chance to get back here. Back to you, my love.”
He leans over and kisses me, and all the weeks of fear disappear from my mind. I’m safe again. I can face anything with him by my side.
The kettle starts to whistle. I take it off the stove and reach for the teapot. I’d better bite the bullet and tell him about the citizenships before Aunty Figgy comes back and mentions them.
“Um …” I begin. “I have other news.”
He’s rinsing mugs in the sink but he turns around quickly and his eyes bore into me. “News?”
“We’re legal. We don’t have to hide our relationship any more. I got your papers – you’re a legal citizen of Table Island now, like me.”
For a second he goes rigid, then he breathes out … and smiles. Thank the Goddess.
“How did you manage that?”
“The general made me part of the council. He wants me to grow more food. I told him I would only do it if he made you and the sabenzis and Shorty legal. But I forgot about Leonid and Aunty Figgy.” I bite my lip. “I thought I’d done the right thing but I really messed up. They’re so upset.”
“You’re on the council?” His eyes are alive with something I can’t read.
I tense, waiting for his scolding. But instead he breaks into a smile.
“That’s very clever. We need to know what they’re up to. Well done.”
“But Jasmine and Leonid are furious with me. They think I left out Leonid on purpose. Will you talk to them?”
Micah