unto whom one’s will is law; nor is it very hard to be temperate and sober when one has the most succulent dainties constantly within one’s reach; they can well contrive to be sincere when there is never any apparent advantage in falsehood... But we, Therese, we whom the barbaric Providence you are mad enough to idolize, has condemned to slink in the dust of humiliation as doth the serpent in grass, we who are beheld with disdain only because we are poor, who are tyrannized because we are weak; we, who must quench our thirst with gall and who, wherever we go, tread on the thistle always, you would have us shun crime when its hand alone opens up unto us the door to life, maintains us in it, and is our only protection when our life is threatened; you would have it that, degraded and in perpetual abjection, while this class dominating us has to itself all the blessings of fortune, we reserve for ourselves naught but pain, beatings, suffering, nothing but want and tears, brandings and the gibbet. No, no, Therese, no; either this Providence you reverence is made only for our scorn, or the world we see about us is not at all what Providence would have it. Become better acquainted with your Providence, my child, and be convinced that as soon as it places us in a situation where evil becomes necessary, and while at the same time it leaves us the possibility of doing it, this evil harmonizes quite as well with its decrees as does good, and Providence gains as much by the one as by the other; the state in which she has created us is equality: he who disturbs is no more guilty than he who seeks to re-establish the balance; both act in accordance with received impulses, both have to obey those impulses and enjoy them.”
7
I must confess that if ever I was shaken it was by this clever woman’s seductions; but a yet stronger voice, that of my heart to which I gave heed, combatted her sophistries; I declared to Dubois that I was determined never to allow myself to be corrupted. “Very well!” she replied, “become what you wish, I abandon you to your sorry fate; but if ever you get yourself hanged, which is an end you cannot avoid, thanks to the fatality which inevitably saves the criminal by sacrificing the virtuous, at least remember before dying never to mention us.”
While we were arguing thus, Dubois’ four companions were drinking with the poacher, and as wine disposes the malefactor’s heart to new crimes and causes him to forget his old, our bandits no sooner learned of my resolution than, unable to make me their accomplice, they decided to make me their victim; their principles, their manners, the dark retreat we were in, the security they thought they enjoyed, their drunkenness, my age, my innocence everything encouraged them. They get up from table, they confer in whispers, they consult Dubois, doings whose lugubrious mystery makes me shiver with horror, and at last there comes an order to me then and there to satisfy the desires of each of the four; if I go to it cheerfully, each will give me a crown to help me along my way; if they must employ violence, the thing will be done all the same; but the better to guard their secret, once finished with me they will stab me, and will bury me at the foot of yonder tree.
I need not paint the effect this cruel proposition had upon me, Madame, you will have no difficulty understanding that I sank to my knees before Dubois, I besought her a second time to be my protectress: the low creature did but laugh at my tears:
“Oh by God !” quoth she, “here’s an unhappy little one. What! you shudder before the obligation to serve four fine big boys one after another? Listen to me,” she added, after some reflection, “my sway over these dear lads is sufficiently great for me to obtain a reprieve for you upon condition you render yourself worthy of it.”
“Alas ! Madame, what must I do?” I cried through my tears; “command me; I am ready.”
“Join us, throw in your lot with us, and commit the same deeds, without show of the least repugnance; either that, or I cannot save you from the rest.” I did not think myself in a position to hesitate; by accepting this cruel condition I exposed myself to further dangers, to be sure, but they were the less immediate; perhaps I might be able to avoid them, whereas nothing could save me from those with which I was actually menaced.
“I will go everywhere with you, Madame,” was my prompt answer to Dubois, “everywhere, I promise you; shield me from the fury of these men and I shall never leave your side while I live.”
“Children,” Dubois said to the four bandits, “this girl is one of the company, I am taking her into it; I ask you to do her no ill, don’t put her stomach off the m‚tier during her first days in it; you see how useful her age and face can be to us; let’s employ them to our advantage rather than sacrifice them to our pleasures.”
But such is the degree of energy in man’s passions nothing can subdue them. The persons I was dealing with were in no state to heed reason: all four surrounded me, devoured me with their fiery glances, menaced me in a still more terrible manner; they were about to lay hands on me, I was about to become their victim.
“She has got to go through with it,” one of them declared, “it’s too late for discussion: was she not told she must give proof of virtues in order to be admitted into a band of thieves? and once a little used, won’t she be quite as serviceable as she is while a virgin?”
I am softening their expressions, you understand, Madame, I am sweetening the scene itself; alas! their obscenities were such that your modesty might suffer at least as much from beholding them unadorned as did my shyness.
A defenseless and trembling victim, I shuddered; I had barely strength to breathe; kneeling before the quartet, I raised my feeble arms as much to supplicate the men as to melt Dubois’ heart . . . .
“An instant,” said one who went by the name of Coeur-de-fer and appeared to be the band’s chief, a man of thirty-six years, of a bull’s strength and bearing the face of a satyr; “one moment, friends: it may be possible to satisfy everyone concerned; since this little girl’s virtue is so precious to her and since, as Dubois states it very well, this quality otherwise put into action could become worth something to us, let’s leave it to her; but we have got to be appeased; our mood is warm, Dubois, and in the state we are in, d’ye know, we might perhaps cut your own throat if you were to stand between us and our pleasures; let’s have Therese instantly strip as naked as the day she came into the world, and next let’s have her adopt one after the other all the positions we are pleased to call for, and meanwhile Dubois will sate our hungers, we’ll burn our incense upon the altars’ entrance to which this creature refuses us.”
“Strip naked!” I exclaimed, “Oh Heaven, what is it thou doth require of me? When I shall have delivered myself thus to your eyes, who will be able to answer for me?...”
But Coeur-de-fer, who seemed in no humor either to grant me more or to suspend his desires, burst out with an oath and struck me in a manner so brutal that I saw full well compliance was my last resort. He put himself in Dubois’ hands, she having been put by his in a disorder more or less the equivalent of mine and, as soon as I was as he desired me to be, having made me crouch down upon all fours so that I resembled a beast, Dubois took in hand a very monstrous object and led it to the peristyles of first one and then the other of Nature’s altars, and under her guidance the blows it delivered to me here and there were like those of a battering ram thundering at the gates of a besieged town in olden days. The shock of the initial assault drove me back; enraged, Coeur-de-fer threatened me with harsher treatments were I to retreat from these; Dubois is instructed to redouble her efforts, one of the libertines grasps my shoulders and prevents me from staggering before the concussions: they become so fierce I am in blood and am able to avoid not a one.
“Indeed,” stammers Coeur-de-fer, “in her place I’d prefer to open the doors rather than see them ruined this way, but she won’t have it, and we’re not far from the capitulation . . . . Vigorously ... vigorously, Dubois . . . .”
And the explosive eruption of this debauchee’s flames, almost as violent as a stroke of lightning, flickers and dies upon ramparts ravaged without being breached.
The second had me kneel between his legs and while Dubois administered to him as she had to the other, two enterprises absorbed his entire attention: sometimes he slapped, powerfully but in a very nervous manner, either my cheeks or my breasts; sometimes his impure mouth fell to sucking mine. In an instant my face turned purple, my chest red . . . . I was in pain, I begged him to