Let your child practice lowering and raising training diapers or pants sometimes, or putting them on and taking them off.
• Have a potty chair handy on which the child may sit on (even with clothes on) while you are in the bathroom yourself, but only if he or she wants to. The intent is not to get results, but to provide familiarity with the equipment. Let the child flush the toilet for you, to help him or her get used to the noise it makes and avoid possible fear later on.
• Begin reading potty books to your child.
Also watch for body signals that children give when they have the urge to go.
• Becoming red in the face.
• “Dancing” on tiptoes.
• Holds legs together.
• Pulling at clothes.
• Hands holding genital area.
You can put words to their actions and point out these signals and suggest using the bathroom. Eventually children tune into these signals themselves.
I don’t think there’s any one way to toilet train children. They can be tempted, coaxed, yelled at or put on the potty every hour, but they won’t really be trained until they decide they’re ready.
Marlene Gwiazdon, Osceola, WI
Nothing I try has worked. My three-year-old understands everything about potty training, but tells me, “I’m not ready, Mommy.” So I try not to say anything. If he’s not ready, he’s not ready.
Kyle Lutz, Mill Valley, CA
Chapter 2
Should I Choose a Potty Chair, an Adapter or Use the Toilet Seat?
Some experts claim that we complicate the toilet training process when we require children to learn on several different kinds of equipment in succession. We start them on the potty chair, then move them to the adapter seat, and finally, we move them to the adult toilet—making three tasks for them to learn.
There is much to be said for using one, two, or all three of these methods. I suspect that the choice really isn’t all that significant. Your choice will depend on your child’s size, age, and preference; your preference (which I think counts for a lot); and the size and number of your bathrooms. Whatever method you settle on will probably work just fine for you and your child
Potty Chairs
Proponents of the potty chair say it allows a child to be more independent, since a parent doesn’t need to lift the child to the toilet. It also allows a child to place his or her feet squarely on the floor when bearing down to eliminate, and the child can also use the support of the chair arms. Because a potty chair is obviously the child’s own, he or she will take pride in possessing it.
I know many parents like the flexibility of the potty chair, moving it to various rooms in the house to suit their convenience, and using it for travel as well. (Others claim that a potty chair should remain in the bathroom, so its purpose becomes solely associated with the bathroom.)
If you have a potty chair in the bathroom, you and your child can go to the toilet at the same time.
One disadvantage is that a boy will not be able to urinate standing up—it will be too difficult to aim, and there will be too much splashing. Another consideration is that it needs to be cleaned out by you or your child. In the beginning, cleaning out the pot will be fun. With experience, it loses its appeal for a child—and probably for you too.
If the potty chair appeals to you, you should get one before you start training so it becomes a familiar piece of equipment to your child. In fact, you may even let your child shop for the chair with you. You can narrow the choice down to two or three styles, and let your child choose from among those. This can make the child all the more anxious to try it out.
Personalizing a potty chair or adapter will also make it more unique and interesting. You can do this by adding a few stickers or decals of your child’s choosing. Or use press-type letters and spell out your child’s name.
Let your child know that it’s okay—for now—to sit on the potty with clothes on to get used to it, but when he or she is ready, it will be used as “Mommy and Daddy use the toilet.” Avoid using the potty chair at other times so as not to confuse the issue.
Choosing a Potty Chair
If you opt for a potty chair, you will probably choose a miniature version of an adult toilet, a molded one-piece style that a child straddles or a plastic molded stool-type chair. Many potty chairs today convert to adult toilet seat adapters as well.
• Before purchasing a potty chair, check to see how the pot is removed. If the pot is hard to get out or it has to be tipped, don’t buy it.
• If you want a urine deflector, look for a removable one made of flexible plastic. Potties with deflectors seem to be easier to find than those without them. If your child is hurt by one when trying to seat himself, he may refuse to use the seat.
• Buy a floor model that won’t slide around and is stable.
• Consider buying more than one potty chair, especially if you have more than one bathroom or a two story house. The extra one can always be used for car travel or left at grandma’s.
• Be aware that if you get a potty chair with a tray, lifting it up will be one more step your child will have to master.
• Look into the possibility of buying an adult camping portable potty for a child who is unusually large.
Cleanup Responsibility
• Make cleaning the potty chair chamber easier by keeping an inch or so of water in the bottom of the pot.
• Or place a few sheets of toilet paper on the bottom for a quicker clean-up of bowel movements.
• Or cover the clean removable bowl with clear cling wrap and then just lift out the deposited contents now contained in the wrap.
• NEVER put any bleach in the bottom of a clean chamber pot. Urine contains ammonia and if a child urinates into the bleach it will cause a chemical reaction producing toxic fumes. Using bleach to disinfect the pot in the cleaning-up process, however, will not be problematic.
• Consider having your child be responsible for cleanup. Not every parent is comfortable with this, nor will every child adapt to it. Keep in mind that it’s not really developmentally appropriate for a very young child.
• Fascination with feces is not unique to your toddler. To prevent a child from playing with it, take the potty chamber out of reach after use. You may need to wait a bit before flushing it if your child is insistent. This stage usually does not last too long. Whew!
Potty training is a lot like a first kiss. You can’t do much about it—it just happens. In my daughter’s case, potty training occurred over a weekend. The key, found out by accident, was that she didn’t want to be taken to her potty and prompted (how silly of me to think that would work!) but rather, characteristically, wanted to do it herself. Once we got that straight, all I had to do was praise the results.
Kathe Grooms, St. Paul, MN
Sit on It!
There are many potty chairs available to you. Most stores tend to carry one to three styles. Many styles convert from