playing hard to get is fine as long as I get some eventually.”
Jolee spun around again, even as her better judgment told her to just go back to the bar. Check on her other patrons. Something.
“What did you say?” she demanded from the blue-shirted guy. He seemed to be the ringleader of the group.
The man looked untroubled by her sharp question. “Nothing to get all het up about.”
She glared at them. Just stay calm. Blow it off. They’ve been drinking. But her thoughts didn’t calm her.
“I think maybe you gentlemen should leave.”
The man smiled, unfazed by her suggestion. She noted that his teeth were white and straight and utterly wasted on him. “That’s not very hospitable of you. But you could make it up to me.”
He stood up. He wasn’t overly tall, about eye level with Jolee, but he was wide with muscled shoulders and a barrel chest.
She stepped back from him, her bottom bumping a chair behind her.
“What do you say? Want to meet me later?”
“Not a chance,” she stated, keeping her voice calm even as she gripped the edge of the tray she still held, preparing to hit the jerk with it if necessary.
“And I’d had you pegged as a woman who knows a good opportunity when you see it.” The man’s eyes raked down her body, making her T-shirt and jeans feel downright indecent.
“Rick, leave her alone,” one of his buddies said.
Rick glanced at the other man as if he wanted to argue. But then, to Jolee’s relief, he did sit down, although he still watched her with hungry eyes.
“I think you better leave,” she repeated, this time to the man who’d called off Rick. She pushed away from the chair and walked away, keeping her pace steady, refusing to let Rick know how much he’d shaken her. She knew they were watching her, but she didn’t glance in their direction as she put the bar between herself and the men.
The ache that had been in her chest all night intensified. The jerk had frightened her, but more than that, he’d just been the last straw. Vance, snotty neighbor, and now this guy. Another guy treating her like dirt.
Tears threatened to choke her, but she bit the inside of her lip and swallowed them back. She wouldn’t cry. Not about this. Not about anything. Tears didn’t solve a thing.
“Have you ever had the feeling that you are the butt of some colossal joke?” she managed to ask Jed after a few moments.
“All the time.” He reached for his pack of cigarettes and tamped one out. “All the time,” he repeated as he lit the tip.
“Me, too,” she said, mostly to herself.
The men left shortly after that, much to Jolee’s relief. They even left money enough for their bill and a decent tip, probably thanks to the guy who’d spoken up for her. But Jolee was too distressed by the whole incident to feel any satisfaction over the slight victory. Even the fact that the night turned out to be the best she’d had since she opened didn’t lift her spirits.
As she finished washing up the glasses, she couldn’t think about anything but that man’s behavior toward her. And her neighbor’s. Both of them made her feel so small. So much lower than themselves. And no matter how many times she told herself they were both jerks, she still felt depressed.
“The bathrooms are all cleaned,” Jed said, coming out of the men’s room with a bucket and mop. “And I’m heading to bed.”
“Thanks, Jed,” she said, still preoccupied with her own thoughts as she placed the last of the dried mugs on the shelf under the bar.
“Jolee girl.”
She glanced up, surprised by the old man’s nickname for her. He leaned on the mop, his wispy white hair and beard looking a little like a mane. He reminded her a bit of Santa’s skinny, chain-smoking brother—if Santa had one of those.
“It was a good night,” he said with an encouraging grin that showed the many craggy lines around his blue eyes.
She nodded. She didn’t feel good. She felt lousy—and alone. At this point, Jed was about the only person she could call a real friend. But she wouldn’t talk to him about her problems. The old guy had his own issues, aging and alone and living in squalor behind a bar.
“Night.” He stopped in the doorway to light a cigarette before stepping out into the warm night.
“Jed,” she called before he disappeared into the night. “You want a snack to take home with you? I have some extra pretzels and nuts in the storeroom.”
“I’m good,” he said with a nod. “But I appreciate the offer.” He waved and disappeared into the dark.
She wished she had more to offer the old man, but at this point, she didn’t have much else herself. Even with this relatively good night, she was going to be lucky to make her mortgage payment this month.
There’s always someone with less, she reminded herself.
She crossed the bar to flip the lock on the back door and slide the heavy bolt above the handle closed. She finished turning down the lights in the main room, then she headed to her small office to double-check her safe, an ancient gray block beside her equally ancient desk. Everything was locked tight.
She picked up her tote bag, and fumbled with her few keys to get the right one for the door out of her office. She stepped out the door and then inserted the key in the lock. She needed an alarm system, another thing to add to the list of improvements she hoped to make at Leo’s. Another thing that would have to wait a while.
The night was warm, and thankfully clear. A half moon hung in the indigo sky, and she could easily see her way to the black strip of paved road.
All the same, she rooted through her bag for her small flashlight. Twisting the top of the narrow black cylinder, the small bulb lit, although it barely cast a beam two feet in front of her. The batteries weren’t going to last much longer, and normally she wouldn’t have wasted them on a clear night like tonight. But she needed the reassurance of the faint glow. It made her feel better. A little anyway.
Usually, she didn’t mind the walk home. But tonight, after that man’s come-on and Vance’s threatening visit the night before, well, she’d just as soon get home as fast as possible.
Chapter 4
Sometimes I don’t know if this plan of mine is really about becoming someone different or just trying to erase the past. Do you think it’s even possible to erase the past? I don’t know.
I know I’m not hurting anyone anymore. But I’m not making any real amends to those I hurt before. A very important step to recovery. Number Nine on the list, actually. Forgiveness.
How do you ever make up for the worst thing you can possibly do to another? You can’t. Maybe this plan is doomed from the start. I’m sorry Rhys, Sebastian, Elizabeth, and Jane. I wish I had understood sooner.
On an upnote, I did get my Popeil Solid Food Injector. So if I want to make a roast with chunks of garlic inside it, then I’m all set.
Christian slammed the stick shift into gear, then pressed the pedal farther to the floor. The engine of his Porsche revved and accepted the push for speed readily.
The shadowy trees tunneled around him, a blur of black on either side of him. He barely registered them, instead staring at the road in front of him. The tires spun faster and faster as more and more road disappeared under his car.
He’d allowed himself to drive tonight. To run away for just a while. But the driving, always a reliable source of escape, wasn’t working. No, now racing through the dark didn’t give him even the slightest measure of contentment.
He told himself that he’d rise