Barbara Colley

Scrub-a-dub Dead


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the maid,” Charlotte said evenly.

      “I don’t care who you are. I put out the DO NOT DISTURB sign. And that means keep out!”

      Charlotte’s gaze slid to the doorknob. Clear as day, the DO NOT DISTURB sign was hanging on the inside of the door, not on the outside. Temptation to point out that the sign was on the wrong side of the door was strong, but Charlotte resisted.

      The customer is always right, her voice of reason argued.

      Even when they’re obviously rude or crazy or downright wrong? she argued back. But Charlotte already knew the answer. Biting her tongue, she quickly gathered her cleaning supplies. And though the words almost choked her, through clenched teeth she said, “Sorry, ma’am,” as she marched out of the room and firmly closed the door behind her.

      To Charlotte’s surprise several women had gathered in the hallway by the cleaning supply cart. It was obvious from the distressed expressions on their faces that they had heard the woman’s outburst. It was also obvious that the small group were members of the Red Scarf Sorority since each woman wore a bright red scarf tied loosely around her neck.

      One of the women stepped forward. Her face was flushed and she was wringing her hands. “Sorry about that.” She tilted her head toward the room. “But please don’t take offense. Tessa—that’s the woman inside—well, she’s just upset right now.”

      Upset? In Charlotte’s opinion, rude was a more apt description, but she summoned a smile and simply nodded.

      “If you’ll wait a moment,” the woman continued, “I’ll persuade her to let you finish cleaning the room.”

      Before Charlotte could object, the woman walked past her, knocked lightly on the door, and then opened it.

      “Tessa, it’s Mary Lou.” Without waiting to be invited inside, Mary Lou motioned for the other women to follow her.

      Since the last woman who entered didn’t bother closing the door, Charlotte had a full view of the room and its occupants and watched with curiosity as the women formed a tight circle around Tessa.

      “Now, honey, we know you’re hurting,” Mary Lou told Tessa. “But remember our creed. We’re here now, and your pain is our pain.”

      “Your pain is our pain,” all of the women chanted softly in unison. “We’re here for you,” they continued. “And you’re here for us, and together, we can face anything.”

      Each woman took a turn hugging Tessa, and before the last one took her turn, tears welled in Tessa’s eyes and she began to sob. Within seconds, all of the women were crying and muttering words of sympathy.

      “Just let it out, honey,” one of the women encouraged.

      “Yeah, let it out,” another one chimed in.

      “Oh, you guys are-are too-too much,” Tessa cried.

      Charlotte simply stared at the group. Oh, brother, she thought, what a crock. Lending sympathy was one thing, but the creed chanting part reminded her of the sister witches on the TV show Charmed chanting one of their spells.

      “It-it’s just th-that I saw Lisa,” Tessa sobbed, “and-and we had words.”

      “Now just what did that husband-stealing hussy say to you, darling?” Mary Lou asked. “You just give the word and we’ll go pull her hair out by its bleached-blond roots.”

      Tessa’s lower lip quivered and fresh tears filled her eyes. “She-she said th-that Frank has asked her to-to marry him.”

      “Nooo,” the women objected in unison, shaking their collective heads in disgust.

      “No way,” Mary Lou reiterated. “That’s just so totally uncouth. For one thing, he’s old enough to be her father, and for another, he’s still married to you.”

      “But, sh-she had a ring and everything,” Tessa cried.

      “Oh, phooey,” Mary Lou retorted. “Ring, fling, doesn’t mean a thing.”

      Clearly still upset, Tessa shook her head. “I should have stayed in Shreveport. I should never have come to New Orleans in the first place. But-but when I found out that Frank was coming down here on business, I-I hoped that by coming, Frank would see how much I still love him, and now…” Her voice trailed away, and she shrugged.

      “That hussy was probably lying through her teeth,” one of the women retorted. “Did you see the ring?”

      Tessa frowned thoughtfully, then slowly shook her head. “No, I didn’t, come to think of it.”

      “Well, there you go,” the same woman said triumphantly. “Yes sir—lying through her pearly whites.”

      Mary Lou placed her arm around Tessa’s waist. “You just hang in there, honey. Frank Morgan might be running the show right now—down here wheeling and dealing and playing the big business man and all—but you just remember that you’re the one who still holds the purse strings. And since you haven’t signed the divorce papers yet, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Once he realizes that, then he’ll come running with his tail tucked between his legs and beg you to take him back.”

      Tessa shrugged. “Maybe, but—” She bit her bottom lip and stared at the floor.

      Out in the hallway Charlotte frowned. She’d always been a private person, the type who wouldn’t think of airing her personal problems to anyone but possibly her sister Madeline. Even then, she’d think twice. But these women seemed to know a lot of really personal stuff about Tessa. Was it possible that telling all to the whole group was a prerequisite for joining the Red Scarf Sorority? She shuddered. If so, they’d never have to worry about her applying for membership.

      Inside the room, Mary Lou reacted to Tessa’s “but” by narrowing her eyes suspiciously. “But what?” she questioned.

      Tessa shook her head. “Nothing.”

      “Aw, come on now, there’s got to be something else.”

      Again Tessa shook her head. “I can’t talk about it. Not now. Not yet,” she whispered.

      “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” one of the women said. “We could always make this Lisa person disappear. Permanently,” she added with a giggle. “We could do it and no one would be the wiser.”

      Several of the women snickered.

      “I have an even better idea,” another offered. “Let’s make Frank disappear permanently instead.”

      “No, no, that’s too easy,” another woman argued. “Besides, Tessa still loves him. What about if we cut his thing off though. Then see how Miss Lisa likes him.”

      When the other women howled with laughter, Charlotte decided that she’d heard enough. As far as she was concerned, they were all crazy, but a fun kind of crazy, and though she certainly didn’t agree with their little joke or the invasion of privacy, she found that she was just a wee bit envious of the sisterly camaraderie they seemed to share.

      Figuring that no one was going to miss her if she left and also figuring that she’d come back to clean Tessa’s room after lunch, Charlotte grabbed the supply cart.

      “Ah, excuse me. Wait a minute.”

      Out of the corner of her eye she saw Tessa wave at her. Swallowing her impatience, she paused.

      “Don’t leave,” Tessa pleaded.

      Suddenly conscious that every eye in the room was staring at her, Charlotte waited as Tessa hurried to the doorway.

      “What’s your name?” Tessa asked.

      Uh-oh, now what? Maybe she’s going to report you.

      Yeah, yeah, I’m shaking in my tennis shoes. Big hairy deal. “My name is Charlotte LaRue,” she said evenly.

      “Well, Charlotte,