my cheek as she slowly made her way after the kids.
“She sleeps most nights in the recliner now,” Ev said, following to settle her in the chair. “Says she can’t get comfortable.”
“I’m right here, Evren aşkim. My ears still work. And I’m an old lady now. I’ve earned my right to sleep where I wish…” she trailed off sleepily.
“Absolutely, Hala.” Ev kissed her cheek as he drew the covers over her. “You are warm?”
“Go, enjoy your friend.” She made a shooing motion.
“Lead me to your dishes,” I said to Ev.
We made quick work of clearing the table. Ev whisked off the cloth and replaced it with a sunny yellow one from a sideboard.
“Sorry the kids ruined the cloth with soup spills.”
“Nonsense.” His dismissive noise sounded exactly like Mira. “That’s why we have a cloth. And it has brightened Mira so much to have them here. Better than a pain pill.”
We headed to the kitchen, and doing dishes with Ev was miles better than doing them on my own. For one, he had a dishwasher; for another, I got to watch his hands and experience a lot of accidental brushes and bumps as we worked. Or not so accidental. We were definitely wandering away from strictly friends territory, but I didn’t want to spook him until we reached the destination.
Ev kept checking on Mira and the kids every few minutes. Finally, he leaned against the counter next to me as I washed the last big pot.
“This is so fucking hard.” He almost never cursed, so he must have been worn thin by worry over Mira. “She’s lost thirty pounds. Withering away. And the chemo…Sorry. I don’t mean to vent.”
“Vent away.” I rubbed his back. Not an I-want-to-seduce-you gesture. Two friends. He needed touch and I needed to give it. “I get it. This would overwhelm anyone.”
“How do you do it? With the kids, I mean? Taking care of her feels a bit like parenting in a way. Like our roles are reversed now.”
“Oh man.” I groaned. I’d never voiced this before. “I went from asking for permission to be out all night to having three kids who needed me for everything and a fourth who had to grow up way too fast. I barely slept the first year. Terrified the social workers would take them. Terrified I wasn’t up to it.”
“I worry about that every night…” Ev relaxed into my touch more, stretching like a cat. God, it had been so long since I’d touched anyone like this. “I worry I can’t do this. But I am. And I have to.”
“One day at time,” I said. “That’s what gets me through. I can’t think of the future. Just until the next school pickup, the next dinner.”
“One doctor’s appointment to the next. That’s the space I’m living in right now,” Ev said quietly. “There’s not room for anything else.”
There was heavy subtext in both our words. There was a huge gap between what we wanted and what we could have. And that gap did nothing to diminish the heat arcing between our bodies. We stood there in quiet commiseration for several long moments, me rubbing his back. I gradually became aware of him staring at my mouth.
I glanced at the doorway. No kids. Happy singing coming from the living room. Glanced back. Ev was still staring. Fine. Two could play at that. I looked at his lips and his hands and all points in between.
You need? Go ahead and take, I said with my eyes. I wasn’t going to make the first move. That wasn’t the dynamic I wanted between us. I could push, sure, but I wanted him to do the leaping on his own.
He turned so that he was trapping me against the counter. Yes. My exhalation echoed through the small kitchen.
“I find I keep thinking of our phone conversation the other night,” he said, his breath close enough to ghost across my face.
“Yeah?”
“Enthusiasm…it is maybe missing from both our lives, yes?”
“Absolutely.” Let me show you how enthusiastic I can be.
“And it is not so…casual to want just a taste?”
“We’re friends. Not a bar hookup. Friends. And maybe we both need a friend right now.” An enthusiastic, kiss-me-senseless friend.
“I think so.” Ev’s hands bracketed either side of me on the counter, and he leaned in, body a firm pressure against mine, lips against my ear. “Show me.”
And then he was kissing me, deep sips of lips and tongue. He worshipped my lips as if he’d been dreaming about them for weeks, and I was no better, inhaling him. I was usually good at taking my time, ramping up slowly, toying with who had control of the kiss, but with Ev, the kiss started in a desperate place and only got more frantic.
“That’s very…enthusiastic,” he said, pulling back for air. “But you can do better.”
Oh fuck yes. Give me directions. I nipped at his lips, inviting him to do the same to me. I opened for his tongue and sucked hard until he started the sort of tongue fucking that had me arching against him, dick straining to get closer.
Heck, enough of this and I could come, no problem. My hands clung to his shoulders, trying to pull him tighter. And it didn’t feel like simple relief and release either—it felt an awful lot like comfort despite the roughness of our actions, and I wanted to sink into it.
A loud laugh from the other room—one of the girls—wormed its way into my head. My hands relaxed their hold and my lips slowed, sanity returning in sips and gulps.
“Brady, come watch,” Jonas called.
Fuck. I slumped against Ev, my forehead to his chin.
“That was not just a taste—it was a meal,” Ev mused, his breath ruffling my hair.
“No, it wasn’t.” I groaned. “Fuck, that was good, Ev. Let’s do that again sometime?”
“Without an audience would be ideal.” He still hadn’t released me.
“Six hours with a locked door is now item one on my life goals list.”
“Mine too, and I might add tying you to the bed for half of it,” Ev said lightly.
“You’re killing me, Ev. You really are.”
He finally let go of me and removed two bowls from a nearby cupboard. “But right now, we have ice cream.”
“That is absolutely no consolation,” I grumbled, but I accepted the serving he dished up and followed him into the living room, brain still foggy from the kissing. The kids had taken over the couch, so I took the floor in front of them. To my surprise, Ev took a seat next to me.
As the movie progressed, our feet bumped. At first it was accidental, then more deliberate contact, little reminders of what we’d shared in the kitchen. We smiled at each other, the best kind of secret between us. Across from us, Mira dozed in her recliner, breathing slow and steady. It was…homey. Made me sleepy, so much niceness.
The twins were starting to nod off, too…“Oh crap.” I nudged them with my foot. “We still need to ride back, sleepyheads.”
“Do not worry,” Ev said. “Mira is resting peacefully. I can take you in her Subaru. We’ll put their bikes in back.”
“Will you carry me?” Madison stretched her arms out like she was four, not seven.
“Me too.” Morgan repeated the gesture.
And so I ended up carrying one twin and Ev, the best sport in the whole world, took the other, Jonas trailing behind us. Mira’s Subaru was peppered with knitting-inspired bumper stickers and was at least ten years old, but I was profoundly grateful not to have to herd sleepy kids home.
It was a short drive, but