forget him. After that, she’d get on with her life and not look back. Truly, she would.
Jasper bowed, his smoothly handsome face revealing nothing beyond an appropriate smile. Tall, beautifully attired in crimson broadcloth, his lean frame fluid in its movements, he was the kind of man most women would die for. Not her. She preferred someone more powerful, darker—someone she must forget.
“Would you come for a walk in the garden with me, my dear? It’s a bright day and we’ve been cooped up here for so long that I for one would appreciate some fresh air.”
She gave him a smile similar in nature to his own. “Thank you. That would be most agreeable.” Like strangers at a dinner party discussing a promenade. Not future life partners.
Lord Downholland resumed his seat behind the huge desk and donned a pair of wire-framed spectacles. “If you wouldn’t mind giving me a few minutes more, Connie, I would appreciate it.”
“Of course, sir.” She bade her betrothed farewell, waited until he’d bowed again and left the room, and retook her seat. She folded her hands in her lap.
“I’m delighted you accepted this offer.” Lord Downholland spoke as if he was addressing a public meeting.
Connie had accustomed herself to that. Uncharacteristic irritation almost drove her to tell him to get on with it.
Lord Downholland continued to speak in measured tones. “I have asked you to remain behind, because I wish to make a few matters clear.”
Connie couldn’t imagine what he meant. “Is it the morality clause? It is of no matter.” The caveat that if she were proven to be of dubious moral character, the contract was in default and Jasper could claim her estate in lieu of damages in an expensive breach of promise case.
Her godfather retained his avuncular smile. “No, it’s not that. We have no reason to concern ourselves with your excellent character. Jasper wished for it, and you didn’t object, that is all.” He paused, and lost the smile completely. “Connie, we are aware that you are no youngster but you are still capable of bearing heirs.”
Shock ripped through her, nearly sending her to the floor. So cruel, to mention this. But so necessary. Her throat went dry and tight. “Children? Sir, you know I haven’t had the best of fortune—”
“We understand that. But you have given birth. Many women lose babies but you came through the ordeal and you are as healthy as ever.”
Every day she thought about her baby, the tiny scrap who hadn’t given even one cry. These days the grief had stilled to a dull ache. It was how people told her it should be, but she couldn’t help but feel a pang, an echo of the awful pain she felt after her only baby died. Her own personal sorrow, not one she wished to burden others with.
Her godfather nodded and awkwardly patted her shoulder. “You are to feel under no compulsion or regret. We proposed this marriage in full knowledge of your history. This house and estate does not depend on direct heirs. There is no entail. That is how I could choose to leave this estate to my sister’s son, in default of a direct heir. If you do not produce an heir, you may take the next in line into the house and train him in preparation for his new role.” His kindly face, creased with concern, revealed his understanding of her concerns. “No, that is not why we chose you, dear Connie. You are a sensible woman and Jasper needs a guiding hand. A young woman wouldn’t have suited him, or coped with his moods. He needs a steadying influence. You have guided a wayward husband before. That is the reason, dear Connie.”
“John wasn’t completely faithful.” It choked her to say it. So many mistakes that she’d sworn never to let love into her life again.
Lord Downholland smiled. “We know, my dear. You quelled any possible scandal and handled the affair most carefully. Connie, Lady Downholland and I are proud of what you made of your inheritance and we have hopes that you and Jasper will together do even more to improve this one. Jasper is merely skittish, that’s all. His relatives on his father's side are powerful, but untrustworthy, and we wish to give him a better chance in life. There is goodness in him, I’m sure of it.” His ruddy country features were as dear to her as her father’s. As was the inevitable egg stain on his waistcoat. He’d never quite managed the skill of breaking open a boiled egg without spilling the contents and he loved them. His valet must despair.
That was the real reason they’d chosen her. Not because his lordship and her father had corresponded for most of their lives, not because Lady Downholland was her aunt as well as her godmother, not because she was intelligent or beautiful or they wanted to show her kindness. But because she was managing and they wanted her to “guide” Jasper.
Her godfather put the second page of her marriage settlement back on the desk. It lay slightly askew on the small pile.
Precisely as she felt, she realized with a sudden shock. This didn’t feel quite right any more. Ever since her encounter with Alex.
Too late. She’d gone too far, signed the documents. She had to go through with this. It would enrich her life immeasurably in all but one area. “Thank you, sir. I am immeasurably blessed that you and Lady Downholland have chosen to treat me with such kindness.”
The other, unspoken, requirement would be that she did as the Downhollands bid her. Since they were in their mid-fifties and in robust health, she had no illusions of inheriting early but Jasper’s estate and her own would give them plenty to live on in comfort. “I will, with your permission, join my intended husband in the gardens.”
Revealing nothing, she got to her feet in a smooth motion. During John’s affair and after, she’d had plenty of practice hiding her real emotions and her skill came to her aid now. She smiled then curtseyed to her godfather before leaving the room.
Pausing only to find a straw hat, a shawl and a pair of gloves, Connie headed outside. It was a bright day, although the chill of early spring still permeated the atmosphere. A light shower had sprinkled the leaves and buds with sprays of water, splitting the light into shards of brilliance.
Too early for most flowers, although a few snowdrops were nestled by the side of a box hedge. She bent and touched them.
The velvet petals caressed her fingers when she touched them, their creamy white reflecting on her skin. She stood and walked through the rose garden, the paths presenting a pleasant walk for anyone, although the roses were only in tight bud as yet, none of their color showing.
It would be a good year for the rose bushes. How was her garden faring in this season of growth and new life? In a few days, she would find out.
Alex had been wiser than she’d thought. If he’d shown her any more passion, what she’d wanted from him so badly, she’d never have returned to this path, never looked at her future husband without remembering another man. She sent Alex silent thanks and set her mind to her future husband. Young, handsome, fond of her and possessed of a good fortune. Not many women were so lucky.
Jasper stood at the edge of the garden, waiting for her, his red coat a startling contrast to the greenery. His mouth was barely curved in the slightly supercilious smile he habitually wore. She couldn’t blame him for that expression. Few people studied their own expressions in the mirror and he was probably unaware of it.
She walked toward him and tried to concentrate on his fine figure and fashionable air. Any woman would be glad to be seen with him.
She smiled back. “So you’re leaving me?”
“Yes, I am. I’m so sorry. It’s a small matter but I do want to conclude it. I want our union perhaps more than you do.” His lips skimmed her cheek then he murmured, “Have I ever told you of the other advantages of marriage?”
“I’ve been married before.” She repressed a shudder at the thought of sharing a bed with Jasper. For no reason other than that she had experienced the caresses of someone she wanted more than anyone else. She could do this, and she would. The breeze caught at the brim of her wide hat and she put a hand up to straighten it.
“Ah,