a cigarette out automatically, then paused. “Do you mind?”
“Nah. I don’t like them, but it’s okay. Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know.” I reached for my lighter, remembered it was out, and pulled out the matches instead. I ran my fingers over its cover and frowned. “You want to go to Mark’s Mad Martini Bar?”
Mark’s was at the top of Queen Anne Hill, making for a rather steep hike. Living around here, I did it fairly regularly, but Maddie was breathing hard when we reached the bar.
“Man,” she said. “I need to go to the gym more.”
I held the door open for her. “Do this every day, and you won’t need to.”
“I think I need a little more than that.” Her weight was a continual source of worry for her. “I think I need to pick up some weird sport. You want to start playing squash with me?”
“Why squash?”
“I don’t know. Never tried it. Figured I should.”
Along with the other changes in her life, Maddie had recently adopted an attitude of getting out there and trying new things. Before my recent funk, I’d had kind of a similar view. Faced with centuries of existence, I’d found experimenting with new activities was a great distraction. There was always something new to learn in the world.
Mark’s was dimly lit, done in matte black décor. I flipped through the expansive drink menu, which upheld the restaurant’s name. When the waiter came around, I ordered a martini called First Blush: white chocolate liqueur, Chambord, and vodka. The menu called for Stoli, but I asked for Grey Goose.
“You ever considered dancing?” I asked Maddie. “It can be a good workout. You’re less likely to get hit in the head too.”
Maddie had ordered Sing the Blues: Blue Curacao, pineapple juice, and Ketel One. Her face lit up.
“I’ve always wanted to. Doug said you used to teach swing at the bookstore.”
“Yeah, I did some group lessons last fall. My friend Cody helped me.” A pleasant wave of nostalgia swept me as I recalled those days. Things had been simpler, and I’d had a lot of fun teaching my friends and co-workers while doing one of my favorite activities.
“I wish I’d been there,” she said wistfully. “I’m kind of uncoordinated, but you know…if I don’t try, how will I learn?”
“Maddie, you should be doing motivational speaking.”
She laughed. “I don’t know about that. But I’d do dance lessons if you ever taught again. Hint, hint.”
The waiter returned with our drinks. I nearly died when I tasted mine. It was an 80 proof, raspberry dream. “I don’t know. The staff pretty much learned all they could with swing.”
“Then teach something else. Doug says you know every kind of dance in the world. I’d help you organize it.”
“Maybe I’ll do salsa or something,” I told her, not sure if I meant it. “When all this drama’s over.”
“Is there anything I can do to help? You know that I’m here if you need something.”
The earnestness and compassion on her face made a lump form in my throat. I’d spent the last few months hating her, but her friendship and faith in me had never faltered. Suddenly feeling guilty, I glanced away from her eyes.
“Nah, don’t worry. I’ll deal with it.” Silence fell, silence that bothered me immensely. I felt a need to give something back to her for her kindness. My thoughts from a few nights ago about moving flashed into my head. I glanced back up. “Maybe you can help me find a new place, though.”
As I’d hoped, her face grew eager at the proposal. “Really? You’re going to move?”
“I don’t know for sure. Just thought it might be time for a change.”
Maddie became even more excited. “What are you looking for?”
“Not sure about that either,” I admitted. “The only thing I’m sure of is that I want to try something outside of Queen Anne.”
“Okay, that’s a good start. How big? New construction or historic? Do you want to keep renting? The condo market’s flooded, you know. Great time to buy.”
I tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t. “Were you a real estate agent in another life?”
“No! I just think it’s exciting, that’s all. I want to help.”
“Okay. I could rent or buy. It would depend on the place.”
“What’s your price range? If you don’t mind me asking?”
I hesitated, wondering if I should let on to the truth about my finances. I decided it didn’t matter. “Well…let’s put it this way. I’ve got a lot of savings.”
“Fair enough.” Despite the rapid rate she was drinking, there was a sharp, businesslike air to her. “You want a similar kind of neighborhood? Shops? Restaurants?”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that.”
“Anything else?”
“I told you, I haven’t thought much about it.”
She sighed in frustration. “You’ve gotta help me out here. Anything you’ve been wanting for a long time? Something you’ve missed?”
Unbidden, a memory of my childhood came to me. The Cyprian town I’d lived in returned to me in startling clarity, its colors, smells, and airs.
“I grew up around beaches,” I said softly. “Sun and surf.” I shook myself out of the wistful memory, feeling a bit embarrassed at my dreamy state. “But I’m in the wrong place for that.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “You’d have to move to California for that.”
We had another round of drinks and talked about other things, and to my surprise, I had a really great time. I remembered now why I liked Maddie so much. She was so easy to talk to, so funny and smart. I didn’t have a lot of female friends, and there was a big difference between her and the guys I normally hung out with. Women needed other women sometimes.
I was signing my credit card bill when Seth walked over to our table.
Maddie looked up, beaming. “Hey, sweetie.” She stood up and kissed him, something that unnerved both Seth and me. All of a sudden, the warm and pleasant feeling that had been building within me shattered. Maddie glanced at me explanatorily. “I called Seth to get a ride while you were in the bathroom.”
I smiled tightly. “Ah.”
Maddie turned back to him. “You’re missing out. This place has great drinks. You sure you don’t want to break the rules? We could stay another round.”
“Actually, I need to go,” I said, thinking of few things more agonizing than drinking with the two of them.
“And I’m not ready to break the rules,” said Seth, avoiding my eyes. “Besides, I’ve got work to do.”
Maddie looked only moderately disappointed. “Oh, well. No problem. Let me run to the bathroom, and we’ll go. We’ll give you a ride, Georgina.”
I should have run away then and there, but Maddie dashed off quickly, and I felt it would be rude to leave without saying good-bye to her. Seth sat down in her chair and clasped his hands in front of him. Our usual wall of awkwardness slammed down between us.
“I don’t need a ride,” I said abruptly.
Seth glanced up at me. “It’s a long walk.”
“Not really. It’s only six blocks.”
“Yeah, but you’ve been drinking.”
I