time is now, her mind shouted. Go for it or lose the chance to connect. She took a step. Morgan moved out of the darkness. Pain and joy sparkled in his eyes. Shania grabbed his lapels and tugged him closer. “I’d rather claim my first kiss.”
Morgan exhaled. His whispered curse hovered near her ear and then was carried away on the wind. He held her gaze, searing her, as if digging deep into her soul. She licked her lips, hoping he wouldn’t deny her. Her gaze moved to his mouth, waiting and wishing. She held her breath. Would he? Oh, God, let him dare!
He tilted his head and cupped her face. She closed her eyes and moved an inch, no more, no less. Like an addiction, she needed to feel the heat of his hands. Yet, the slightest move and she’d lose the fragile contact she did have with him. His thumbs rubbed her cheeks, soft tiny brushes.
She released the breath caught in her chest, then pulled her lips inward to wet them again. He smelled like spicy cinnamon and male aftershave. Her gut clenched in agony. His closeness was pleasure and pain. Her knees weakened. Morgan quickly moved his hands from her face to her arms, as if to hold her up.
“Ah, Shania.” He pressed his cheek against hers, taking a deep breath. “What are you doing to me? I can’t resist you.”
“Then don’t. I want you. Do you want me?” She begged for his lips to touch hers, just one slight taste of him. One time to test the sparks, to see if a fire would ignite as she’d anticipated.
A lock of her hair, fallen from the loose bun, fluttered as he exhaled. Self doubt crept up her spine. She wouldn’t ask again. Either he wanted to be with her or not.
He tugged her close. Her thin t-shirt pressed against the starched suit jacket, causing her nipples to harden. She laid her cheek on his lapel, trying to steady her trembling legs while giving him space and time to come to a decision. The scent of the lily corsage remained on the coat, a quick and painfully sharp reminder that he could very well be married. She sucked in a harsh breath, praying it wasn’t true.
“Did you mean what you said?” he whispered. His hands embraced her, his palms resting near her waist with fingers touching the curve of her back. Their thighs touched. Liquid pooled low in her abdomen. She wanted to crawl inside him.
“Every word.” Hopeful excitement rang through her slow whispered words.
“Do you want to be together?” He rested his chin on top of her head.
“Yes.”
“Then I–”
Justin screamed. Torn between needing to hear Morgan’s words and going to her son, she stepped out of his arms. Uncertain, she gazed at Morgan. Was he proposing a future?
Morgan kissed the top of her head. “Go to him.”
“Will you be here after I get him settled?” She hated the almost desperate, needy tone creeping into her voice. Tears stung her eyes.
With a slight shake of his head, he whispered, “I’m sorry, Shania…”
Unable to stand listening to the rest of his words, Shania turned and rushed into the house. Their love wasn’t meant to be. He’d go do what he felt was necessary and she and Justin would leave for Briarwood.
* * * *
Farmland separated by wooded acres surrounded the mid-size sprawling city of Briarwood, Indiana. Briarwood University was a complex mix of ancient chipped-brick buildings, smelling of time, and oddly angled contemporary structures. The campus was fastidiously perfect with layers of flora. Unique groupings of landscaping were intermeshed with stone statues fitting the area–frogs near the ponds, a Native American in the history quad, a couple walking hand in hand near the dormitories. The fragrant outdoor scents took Shania’s breath away each time she visited, as the lovely smells had earlier today as she meandered along the pathways.
The areas of the college grounds were identified according to the plant scheme. West Quad consisted of nutty oaks, pecans and fat-branched, big-leaved blackwood trees. Strategically placed benches allowed visitors a view of the beautiful wooded area. North Quad consisted of lush tickle grass, day lilies and elderberry bushes, while South Quad hosted boxwoods shaped into cones, rectangles and circles. Shania and Justin lived in a family housing complex on the East side, in one of the ancient buildings.
The East Quad was Monet colorful. Riverside Avenue hosted a line of brownstone buildings with newer high rise modern-day housing units behind the rustic structure. Worthen Complex had the oldest and least expensive apartments, primarily because of their small size. Despite the pain of carrying a stroller and baggage to the fifth floor, she loved her living space and wouldn’t go to the ground level even if a unit opened. They resided on the west end. Each night a fabulous evening sun filtered through the paned windows. The original brick sill outlined the casing, and a set of gargoyles held sentry on the cement ledge outside the structure. One of the mythological creatures shadowed the glass outside their bedroom. His heavy presence was visible through the living room window as well.
Shania glanced through the dark panes, unable to sleep. Her job with Companion Connections had run from eight in the evening to two the next morning. Although she and Justin had been in Briarwood for three months she missed talking to lonely people on the phone late at night. Her internal clock hadn’t adjusted to being able to rest at regular intervals. However, she couldn’t continue to keep late hours in addition to rising early in the morning to attend class. Somehow she had to find a way to snooze.
“Mommy,” Justin screamed.
She rushed to his side. He was tightly bound in his covers and sweat coated his face. “You’re wrapped up like the mummy we saw in the museum. Remember how we laughed at his costume?”
“No.” His lips quivered.
“I’m here, honey.” She cuddled him close and stroked his back. The nightmares continued. At first she had assumed the dreams were a result of uprooting him from the only home he’d known, or sleeping in the new child bed instead of a crib. Instead, the changes in their lifestyles, class, daycare and Justin being separated from her for long periods created anxiety for him.
“The monster’s getting me.” He nuzzled his face into her nightshirt.
“What monster?” She glanced around the room, trying to figure out what odd shape would create a scary image for him. Maybe he continued to worry over the mummy.
“There.” He pointed toward the window.
“The statue?” Gauzy curtains covered the panes allowing sunlight and moon light to filter in, making the room seem larger. Beyond the glass was the concrete gargoyle, holding court over students gathering in the yard below.
He nodded.
“Why, that’s Morgan the second, here to watch over us. He’s not a monster. He loves us and sits outside on the cement ledge to keep strangers away. We’ll call him M-two.” Shania rocked Justin, gently humming a song and making up the words as she went along.
The peaked ears and heavy coat mantle of the stone statue were clearly defined and created exaggerated shadows on the wall.
“Okay. I want him.”
She rubbed her cheek against his. She missed Morgan too. They’d seen him at least twice a week for the past three years. He’d spend hours playing with Justin and chatting with her. They hadn’t seen nor heard from Morgan since his wedding day several weeks ago. His absence was noticeable and heartrending.
“I do too, honey.” Her voice came out as low and as sad as she felt.
She moved Justin’s new toddler bunk to the other side and her bed near the window. As the bed legs dragged on the hardwood floor, loud shrill squeaks resonated in the bedroom. Shania could only hope the neighbors were deep sleepers. Shania and Justin had painted a colorful country scene on a canvas last Sunday to use as wall art. Justin loved horses, so they were at the forefront of the picture. Shania hung the canvas between the beds giving him a little more privacy.
Justin finally