“Good God,” Alex muttered, pressing a hand to her stuttering heart. She knew who it was. He’d glared daggers into her just moments before when she’d said her goodbyes. What the hell did he want from her?
Steeling herself against the coming confrontation, she stepped away from the door and opened it just a crack.
“Alexandra,” he said in a suspiciously even voice.
“Might I speak with you?”
“Yes.”
His mouth tightened. “Will you open the door?”
She stared at him for a long moment just to be difficult, then let the door swing open. “What is it?”
She pretended not to notice his anger, but she did back a few steps away from him as he slipped in and shut the door.
“Why are you acting like this?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like I’ve done something terrible.”
“I’m not acting that way at all.”
“You won’t speak to me. You won’t even look at me. You’re leaving tomorrow and all you can manage for me is a nod of your damned head?”
Oh, this was ridiculous. “I can’t imagine why you’d care.”
Collin growled, hands crumpling to fists. “You think I wouldn’t even care to say a proper good-bye to you?”
Her temper ruled her, off-balance as she was from a combination of his overwhelming presence and the wine she’d consumed. “I think that you had every reason not to like me when we met, and I think you do not like me now. I, I offered myself to you like a…” She pulled herself straight and refused to say it. “And you didn’t want me.”
“That’s absolutely not true.”
“Of course it is.” She looked down at the floor, unable to meet his suddenly understanding gaze. “You’re simply too nice to say it.”
“Come here.”
“No.” She shook her head to emphasize the word. She heard a step and saw his boots come into her line of vision.
“Alex,” he said more softly.
She shook her head again, wishing he’d go away, wishing she didn’t feel so uncertain. She felt his hand beneath her chin and let him raise her face to his gaze.
“Surely you know when a man wants you.”
“Apparently not.”
“Alex.” She heard the laughter in the word, his amusement at her pouting. And then his breath touched her lips. And then his mouth was against hers and she was sighing and opening to him.
The kiss was so soft, so hesitant that, though her heart leapt at the touch, it only confirmed what she feared. He did not want her as she wanted him. He didn’t kiss her hard and hot. He didn’t push her to the bed and strip her naked and slake his need. He only held her, licked gently at her bottom lip.
She wanted his tongue. She wanted his arousal.
She broke away, swiped at the warmth that lingered on her mouth. “Don’t lie to me, Collin.” Ignoring his shocked eyes, she spun and jerked open the corner drawer of her dresser.
“Here.” She thrust the stiff paper into his hands, pushing it away from her. “Take it. Leave.”
He just stared at her a moment, looking almost hurt. Finally, he glanced down, brow furrowed as he turned the paper over in his hands. “What is it?”
“What do you think it is?”
The paper snapped, it unfolded so quickly beneath his fingers. His face blanked, then flushed. Alex turned to her trunk and smoothed the already neat bundles of clothing.
She’d given it to him in anger, and already her hand itched to snatch it back. Damien’s note was passionate and flirtatious, and she’d only wanted to show Collin that someone didn’t think her too low to desire. Now she felt foolish. Used.
“It came this afternoon,” she muttered. The letter was brief. Surely he’d finished it.
“I thank you for the information. And the titillation.”
A glance over her shoulder found him holding it out toward her. She sniffed. “Shouldn’t you keep it? It’s what you wanted, after all.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t deprive you of such a tender keepsake. Surely you treasure his vivid remembrance of that evening in the rose garden. It is all that keeps him going, after all.”
Alex snatched it back from him as she should have done before he’d read it. A hard toss sent it floating into the chest and she slammed the lid against the sight of it.
“Good-bye, Mr. Blackburn. Let me know if I can be of assistance to you in the future.” The silence behind her stretched her nerves thin. “What?”
A shush of fabric as he shifted. Then nothing.
“What?”
“I did not kiss you, or…I did not make love to you as a means to get information.”
“Really?”
He cursed. It sounded like a curse, anyway, though it wasn’t English. Gaelic, she guessed. Of course, she didn’t really think he’d used her, but better he think that the cause of her anger than injured pride and hurt feelings.
“I realize you do not know me well,” he murmured from close behind her. “But I would never do that. I meant to not touch you at all, but I could not help myself.”
A shiver of pleasure slid over her spine at the honest heat in his voice.
“I am not a man who often loses control.”
“And so you did not.”
“I did. If not for that ill-timed cart I would have happily buried myself between your legs and damn the consequences.”
The shiver turned to a stroke of hot lust. Oh, God, she could picture him rocking against her, his naked hips pressed against her own.
His hand reached from behind to circle her wrist. He pulled her around to face him. “Is this a habit of yours? Collecting confessions of lust from men who can’t have you?”
“I…” His nearness, the savage light in his eyes…She had to breathe deep to clear her head. “You could have me.”
“You are not the type of woman a man simply beds.”
That surprised a sharp laugh out of her. “I am exactly that type of woman.”
“Don’t speak that way of yourself,” he growled. “It’s not true. I knew the moment I met you it wasn’t true.”
“But…” she choked out, confused and oddly hurt by his words.
“We all do stupid things when we’re young, Alex. Do not let past indiscretions dictate the rest of your life. You are a fine woman—smart and kind.”
“Oh, Collin,” she sighed and pulled her hand from his.
“Don’t be naïve. I’m truly ruined. The Errant Heiress, they call me. The Duke’s Despair.”
“You are rich and beautiful and the sister of a duke. Don’t tell me you haven’t had men clamoring to marry you even since the scandal.”
She shrugged, sullen in the face of the truth. “Not the kind of men I’d marry.”
“One day there will be. And you should not damage yourself further because of past mistakes.”
This was almost comical. Was he really turning her away out of some misguided morality? She did not want to be fine and good. She wanted to