(Good things take time, especially for a person to mature into wisdom.)
Yìnián shù mù, shí nián shù rén.
一年树木，十年树人。
Failure is the mother of success.
Shībài shì chénggōng zhī mǔ.
失败是成功之母。
Everything is hard in the beginning.
Wàn shì qǐ tóu nán.
万事起头难。
3 Humility and Contentment
Every traditional culture has stressed the need for humility. Many centuries ago, the Christian Church in Europe posited the seven deadly sins, pride first among them. East Asian societies throughout their history have emphasized the virtue of humility more than most other societies.
For millennia, China has been one of the most densely populated countries in the world, as have Japan and Korea. Perhaps this is what caused the peoples of these three East Asian cultures to emphasize the good of the group over that of the individual. In a crowded society, where people lived in large communities side by side with their neighbors, a high priority was placed on maintaining social harmony. The need for humility was stressed to prevent that harmony from being disturbed by boastfulness and selfishness.
To this day, people in China, as well as in Japan and Korea, do not accept a compliment by saying “thank you,” as we do in the West. Instead, the reply to every compliment is a set phrase such as “not at all, not at all” (nǎlǐ, nǎlǐ 哪里，哪里) or “I don’t dare accept” (bùgǎndāng 不敢当). When someone invites guests to his home for a meal, in spite of the fact that the table will be groaning with dishes, the host will humbly declare, “There’s nothing to eat” (méi shénme cài 没什么菜). Most important, Chinese and other Asians have been culturally trained to speak little about themselves or their accomplishments. This restraint extends to boasting about family members as well, because in China your family is an extension of yourself. So praising a family member is akin to praising oneself.
The Chinese have argued throughout the ages that having a humble attitude should encourage you to admit when you don’t know something. They have also stressed that people should not pridefully compare themselves with others but modestly accept the fact that there will always be others who are superior to them in some way. The proverbs and sayings below all emphasize the importance of being humble, dating back to the words of Confucius 2,500 years ago. Contentment can only be found in not envying others or comparing yourself to them but in being satisfied with what you have.
Compare yourself to those who are superior to you, and you’ll find yourself lacking; compare yourself to those who are inferior to you, and you’ll find yourself more than good enough.
Bǐ shàng bùzú, bǐ xià yǒu yú.
比上不足，比下有余。—Confucius
If you compare yourself to others, it’ll just get you angry.
Rén bǐ rén qìsǐ rén.
人比人气死人。
Looking from this mountain, that yonder mountain seems higher.
(“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”; don’t assume that others have it better than you do.)
Zhè shān wàngzhe nà shān gāo.
这山望着那山高。
Those who know that they have enough are always happy.
Zhī zú zhě cháng lè yě.
知足者常乐也。
Arrogance is the enemy of victory.
(Pride goeth before a fall.)
Jiāoào shì shènglì de dírén.
骄傲是胜利的敌人。
A great man is silent about his past glories.
(Truly great people never dwell on their past glories.)
Hǎo hàn bùtí dāngnián yǒng.
好汉不提当年勇。
The fool does not ask; he who asks is no fool.
(If you really want to learn, you have to be humble enough to ask questions and reveal your ignorance.)
Yú zhě bú wèn, wèn zhě bù yú.
愚者不问，问者不愚。—Confucius
If your face is ugly, you can’t blame the mirror.
(If you have shortcomings, you have only yourself to blame, i.e., a poor workman always blames his tools.)
Liǎn chǒu guàibùzháo jìngzi.
脸丑怪不着镜子。
CAUTIONS AGAINST PRIDE AND BOASTING
However strong you are, there’s always someone stronger; never brag about yourself to others.
(No matter how good you are at something, there’s always someone better than you, so it’s foolish to boast about your skill.)
Qiáng zhōng gèng yǒu qiáng zhōng shǒu, mò xiàng rén qián kuà dà kǒu.
强中更有强中手，莫向人前夸大口。
Beyond the sky is another sky; beyond the mountain is another mountain.
(No matter how great a person or a thing might be, there’s always someone or something that’s at least as great and perhaps even greater.)
Tiān wài yǒu tiān, shān wài yǒu shān.
天外有天，山外有山。
The moon waxes only to wane; water fills to the brim only to overflow.
(Success is always short-lived, so boastfulness is empty vanity.)
Yuè mǎn zé kuī, shuǐ mǎn zé yì.
月满则亏，水满则溢。
Wielding the ax in front of Ban’s gate
(Trying to show off one’s carpentry skills in front of the legendary master carpenter, Ban; performing in front of someone who is much more skilled than you are)
Bān mén nòng fǔ
班门弄斧
Old Wang praises his own melons while he sells them.
(He blows his own horn; said teasingly of those who boast of their own accomplishments)
Lǎo Wáng mài guā, zì mài zì kuà.
老王卖瓜，自卖自夸。
Good cats don’t [constantly] meow, and good dogs don’t [always] leap about.
(Truly talented people don’t boast or show off.)
Hǎo māo bújiào, hǎo gǒu bútiào.
好猫不叫，好狗不跳。
A half-filled bottle makes noise [when shaken], while a full bottle makes none.
(Those who know the least boast the most, while the superior person remains silent.)
Yì píng bùxiǎng, bànpíng dīngdāng.
一瓶不响，半瓶叮当。
HUMILITY