You don’t want to catch up or spend quality time with me. You want to make things good since your prodigal children are coming home. Junior—the only person who visited me, by the way—already told me Desi was coming,” Donna hissed, pushing Carolyn’s hand off her knee roughly.
Carolyn snatched her hand back, as if a venomous snake had bitten her. She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to quell the throbbing that had suddenly started between her eyes. It was starting again already—the hate/ hate relationship her kids had with one another. Carolyn often blamed herself for not handling Desiree’s situation like it should’ve been handled back then. Donna had been too young at the time to understand why her sister was sent away, but Carolyn had seen a big change in Donna afterward. Carolyn let out a long breath, which seemed to zap all her energy. Everything seemed to be at an impasse.
Undeterred by her mother’s silence, Donna went on. “I don’t want to be here. I’m over Idlewild and all your fake friends. I’m sure you have some kind of party planned for your favorite child, but I’m not going to it. I refuse to be like you, like all the people here . . . fucking fake, hiding behind money and designer clothes, all living a big lie.” She paused and gave her mother a hard stare. “Now, either you let me go to the city or you get even more embarrassed when I go around Idlewild telling everyone what a wonderful time I had in drug rehab,” she spat viciously.
Carolyn coughed, or more like gagged. She felt like Donna had gut punched her. She placed her hand on her chest, shocked by her daughter’s outburst. She looked over at her only child, and she swore she could see red flames flickering in Donna’s eyes. Pure hatred clouded the girl’s face. Carolyn’s jaw rocked feverishly, and her pulse pounded. Suddenly everything was swirling around her. She cleared her throat, like she’d done so many times when preparing to speak to Ernest, thinking Donna had grown to be just like her father. Carolyn knew she couldn’t let Donna ruin what she had spent years building—the lie that was their life.
“Donna, I have tried and tried. What more do you want me to do? It is not my fault that your father is sick. He asked for you all to be here, and he chose to ask for Desiree specifically to be here, ” Carolyn began, steeling herself for more cruelty from Donna.
Donna’s face turned bloodred, and her eyebrows folded into a scowl. “I don’t care!” she screamed. “Everyone is always making special arrangements for her whenever she decides we are important enough to come around. She abandoned us! She taught her child to hate us! She hates us!”
Donna yanked on the door handle when the house came into view. The driver slammed on the brakes in response. The car screeched to a halt, and Donna scrambled out the door. Carolyn’s body jerked forward, then back, and her head slammed into the headrest. Her heart pounded even harder, and her head throbbed.
“Oh my God! Donna!” Carolyn screamed, wincing and holding the back of her head. She opened her car door and hung her head out. “Donna! Wait!” she screamed. Visibly shaken, Carolyn decided against running after her daughter. There was nothing Carolyn could do now. It was too late. And there was but so much she could take. She knew that Donna had been serious when she said she would tell everyone she was in rehab. Someplace deep inside Carolyn, what all her friends thought about her was more important than forcing her daughter to be there.
“Everything all right, Mrs. J?” the driver asked.
Carolyn was terribly embarrassed and equally as flustered. She didn’t respond.
“You want me to go after her?” the driver asked, peering at Carolyn through the rearview mirror.
“I’m fine. She’s impossible,” Carolyn replied, trying to seem lighthearted about the incident but not able to prevent her voice from shaking. “Take me up to the house and come back for her. Take her wherever she wants to go. If she wants to go to the city, let her go to the city,” she croaked, her voice shedding the false cheeriness and her words laced with pain and anger. This scenario was better than Donna blowing the whistle on Carolyn’s lies and causing a scene when Desiree arrived.
Once the driver reached the front of the house, Carolyn climbed out of the car. She steeled herself for the questions she knew she’d face when she stepped inside her home. Carolyn immediately began constructing more lies in her head. She had become so good at it that it took her no time to think of what she’d tell everyone, including Ernest, about Donna’s whereabouts. Carolyn exhaled a windstorm before she entered the house. It was the first time she had acknowledged to herself that she was losing the battle on all fronts, but she had made up her mind that it wouldn’t be for long.
Chapter 4
Memories
Desiree’s stomach clenched, and she immediately felt like her modest Honda Accord was out of place on the long winding driveway of her parents’ Idlewild summer home. The four luxury cars parked along the stone driveway were so much bigger and more expensive than hers, and this made Desiree feel like a pizza delivery person pulling up for a five-minute drop-off.
“Whoa,” Tyree exclaimed as they approached the Johnson summer home. “How come this is my first time coming here?” he asked, his eyes stretched wide and his mouth agape. “You’ve been holding out big-time, Mom. Like, big big-time.”
Desiree swallowed hard. “You know I don’t do these family gatherings,” she groaned. “If I don’t come, you don’t come. And none of this is mine, so I haven’t been holding out on anything.”
“I do know you don’t do family gatherings, but I’m still trying to figure out why,” Tyree responded as he continued to scan his surroundings. “With a dope house like this, I’d gather with my family every day! This right here is baller, for real,” he went on, ogling the house and the grounds.
“Boy, just make sure you’re on your best behavior. It’s one week . . . Let’s make it through. Don’t do a lot of talking, so I don’t have to do a lot of explaining. Got it?” Desiree said, twisting her neck to tamp down her nerves.
“There’s a whole lot of stuff you ain’t telling me,” Tyree grumbled under his breath.
Desiree didn’t respond. She knew he had used the word ain’t to get under her skin, and her skin was already crawling bad enough as it was.
They got out of the car almost at the same time. Before Desiree could fully stretch, Rebecca came barreling toward her, with a huge smile on her face.
Desiree’s heart lurched in her chest, and tears immediately sprang to her eyes. The one person she had missed the most all these years was Rebecca.
“Oh my Lord,” Rebecca sang, her arms stretched out in front of her. “I cannot believe my eyes,” she said, her voice cracking. Rebecca pulled Desiree into her and squeezed her so tight, Desiree had no choice but to return the embrace.
Rebecca had been a part of the Johnson family since before Desiree was born. She had served as everything to the family. She had been the nanny, but she had also kept house, kept Carolyn straight, and assisted Ernest in some things as well. Once the kids had become teenagers, Rebecca had taken on the task of making sure Carolyn’s household chores never piled up, especially the cooking. As wealthy as Ernest was, he had never liked to eat out. He preferred Rebecca’s home cooking over a fancy restaurant any day. Rebecca still kept things in the house flowing smoothly. She was just a part of their family, period. And she loved Desiree like Desiree was her own child, and in turn Desiree had confided in Rebecca more than she had her own mother.
“Rebecca,” Desiree whispered, finally letting her tears fall. “I’ve missed you so much,” she gasped, almost choking on her words. “So much.”
Rebecca’s body quaked with sobs. Neither of them had been prepared for the rush of emotions that took over them like a tidal wave. As they stood there, seemingly stuck in one another’s embrace, memories flooded them both.
Back then, Desiree had almost jumped out of her skin when the soft knocks reverberated through her bedroom door.
“It’s me, Desi,” Rebecca