our business. He says it should stay between him and me.’
‘I agree to a certain extent.’ Peggy nodded to herself. ‘Some things are private, but others – well, it helps to talk to your friends. I talk to Maureen on the phone for hours and I always feel better for it. I wouldn’t talk about private things, like bedroom stuff, but everything else… you need to let off steam, Janet love. You know I wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want – but perhaps Ryan doesn’t understand how you feel?’
‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t have said anything, but sometimes I get so miserable.’
‘Oh, Janet. I thought you were so sure when you married him?’
‘I was – but it’s losing our son and trying for another baby and feeling so ill all the time…’ She was silent for a moment and then it came out in a rush, ‘I think there may be someone else…’
‘You think Ryan is seeing another woman? Surely he wouldn’t?’ Peggy was astounded. Ryan had always seemed so desperately in love with Janet. ‘What makes you suspect him?’
‘He comes home late from work night after night and since I told him I didn’t want another child he refuses to make love, just says he’s too tired…’ She caught back a sob. ‘And I found a hankie in his pocket with red lipstick. It’s not my colour. I wear a peach shade or a pale pink.’
‘There could be a lot of reasons for that, Janet,’ Peggy said reasonably. ‘He might have lent it to a girl in his office if she had grit in her eye or if she was crying.’
‘Yes, I know,’ Janet agreed, a note of uncertainty in her voice now. ‘It’s lots of little things, Mum – the way he looks at me sometimes; you must remember what it was like when you and dad split up?’
‘Yes, I do.’
Peggy remembered, nodding to herself. She’d noticed the little signs for a long time before she understood that she and Laurie were drifting apart. It had been painful, hurtful – but then she’d met Able and the world had changed for Peggy. Even when he’d been missing and she’d thought him dead, his love had remained in her heart.
‘I hoped it would never happen to you,’ Peggy said now. ‘Don’t let go too soon, love. It might be just a passing phase. I’m not sure Laurie would ever have been unfaithful to me if the war hadn’t happened. We should probably have drifted along in the same old way.’
‘Is that all there is in life?’
‘You sound bitter, Janet. You shouldn’t let yourself be bitter, love.’
‘Don’t you think I’ve had cause?’
Peggy knew her daughter was remembering the way she’d lost her first husband Mike. He’d come back to her after being missing at sea during the war but suffering from loss of memory and just as they had a chance of happiness and he’d seemed to be remembering, he’d suffered a reversal and died from the brain injury caused by the shrapnel lodged in his head.
‘Yes, Janet, you have – but you’ve also got a second chance. You have a lovely home and a comfortable life; that’s more than many have, love.’
‘Money and comfort are nothing without love,’ Janet said and put the receiver down sharply the other end.
Peggy stood with it in her hand for a moment before replacing hers. She wondered whether to ring her daughter back, but knowing Janet, she wouldn’t answer. Janet had always been temperamental and stubborn. She would get over whatever was eating at her and Peggy would telephone her – perhaps that evening.
‘I’m leaving for the café,’ Able said, coming out into the hall. ‘You should put your feet up as much as the twins will allow, Peggy.’
‘That’s zero.’ Peggy sent him a loving glance, thanking her lucky stars that her man had come back to her after the war and was unfailingly considerate and loyal. ‘We’re going skating, a drink and a bun at the café and then Christmas shopping. The twins want to find presents for their friends, Aunty Sheila and Uncle Pip and their cousins – and you! They’ve already got something for Janet, Maggie and Ryan. Freddie made an ornament in pottery class and Fay made a leather bookmark for Ryan, but they want to buy some presents too.’ Peggy spoke of her children and her grandchildren as being cousins because the uncle-nephew relationship was too complicated for the children.
‘Oh good.’ Able grinned wickedly. ‘I’m up for some brandy and cigars – or a new tie…’
‘You will get what they choose,’ Peggy reprimanded with mock severity and then laughed. ‘Freddie bought you that rubber duck for the bath when he was five, do you remember?’
‘Remember? I play with it every morning in the bath,’ he murmured, eyes twinkling. ‘Have you got enough money for all you want, hon?’
‘I’m fine thanks,’ Peggy said. ‘Have a good day, love. You’ve got the stuff I cooked last night to take with you?’ She’d baked at home to save going in, and her part-time cook would do the simple meals for once. Able had insisted that she have a well-earned day off.
‘Six apple pies, two large cherry Bakewell tarts and three dozen sausage rolls.’ Able ticked them off on his fingers. ‘You’ll have to start on the mince pies next week, Peggy. I’ve already been asked when our Christmas menu starts and we’ll put a few decorations up next week.’
‘People are so impatient for it to come,’ she said with a laugh. ‘We’ve got another three weeks to go. Janet and Maggie won’t be coming to us for Christmas…’
‘Is she unwell again?’ Able looked concerned.
Peggy shook her head. ‘Ryan is taking her on holiday to Scotland. They’re going up several days before Christmas, taking the car to London, so they can call on Sheila and Pip, sleeping there overnight and travelling the rest of the way by train. Janet says the train is a sleeper so they’ll have a comfortable journey and will be staying until the day after Boxing Day.’
‘Good for him,’ Able said. ‘It will do them all good – we could go somewhere if you wanted, Peggy. We’re taking a longer break this year, so we could afford to go away for a while.’
‘I like a family Christmas.’
‘Well, why don’t we visit Pip and Sheila?’ Able asked. ‘It’s a while since you’ve been up to London, hon. You could see all your friends. Ask if it is all right – and we’ll take a big hamper of food up with us as well as the presents.’
Peggy moved towards him in a rush of emotion, putting her arms about him to give him the hug her talk with Janet had left her needing. ‘They threw away the mould after they made you, Able.’ Her throat was tight and she sounded a bit hoarse. ‘You’d better go, love.’
‘Yes, mustn’t be late. They will be queuing up to get in…’ He grinned and kissed her softly on the lips. ‘I’ll see you this evening – ring Pip, don’t wait to write. I’d enjoy seeing the pub and everyone in the lanes again.’
‘I will telephone, later,’ Peggy promised, turning as she heard a shout from the back parlour. ‘I’d better see what they’re up to before total war breaks out.’
As he opened the front door, they heard the sound of planes in the air. The new fast planes were breaking speed limits and when they did so overhead the noise could be deafening. Able put his hands to his ears and made a face until they passed. Only after the planes had disappeared could they hear the noise their children were making.
Able laughed as they heard the squabble going on in the back room. Fay and Freddie were very close but they quarrelled often and sometimes hair got pulled and shins kicked. Fay had always been the most quarrelsome, perhaps because her hearing had been slightly damaged when she was very small, but Peggy knew that her younger daughter was the dominant twin. For a long time, Freddie hadn’t retaliated, but these days he had a way of quietening his sister with a look. He was now the stronger