PROGRAMME
“Goooooooooooooooood moooooooooorning, freeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh meat!”
Stan sprang up and out of bed, startled by the deafening noise. He looked wildly around and saw Kat and Charlie still in their beds, Kat swinging her sword (which she had apparently slept with in her hand) around, yelling, “Die die die die die!” Charlie sat bolt upright, his hand clutching his chest. Archie was standing on top of the table with the tools on it, his hands cupped; clearly, it had been him who had yelled. G and Jayden were behind him, laughing hard at the new players’ reactions.
“Oh God, you three … you three should have seen the looks … the looks on your faces!” Jayden managed to get out between laughs.
“We’ve had some pretty … some pretty good react … reactions,” wheezed G, clutching his sides, “but you guys … that was so over the top! Especially you, Kat! ‘Die die die die die!’” he said, setting off another round of laughter.
Kat stood up, walked over to G, put her hands on her hips, and stared at him in the eye. “That was not funny! What if I had hit someone? Someone could have died!”
“I’m sorry, but why were you sleeping with a sword anyway, Kat?” asked Archie.
“Aw, did da wittle girl have a bad dweam about da cweepas comin to get her?” said G in a mock-baby voice, to another round of hysterics.
Kat pocketed her sword, walked up to G, who was now cramping with laughter, and punched him hard in the chest.
“Ouch!” G yelled, doubling over. “Man, Kat, that actually hurt! Should I punch you now? Huh?”
Kat smirked. “Even in a game, I doubt that you would hit a girl, unless she was armed and trying to kill you.”
“Huh? What was that about girls trying to kill people?”
Sally had just walked into the room. She said, “Kat, if you want to kill these five, I’m more than happy to help you.”
“I’d like to take that offer, please,” Kat replied, rubbing her eyes, “because they just woke me up by yelling at me.”
“It was hilarious!” laughed G. “She started freaking out with her sword, which she slept with …” and the three older boys fell to the ground in fits of laughter.
“You three are so immature,” she said arrogantly. “Anyway, get off the crafting table, Archie. I’m crafting us some breakfast.” He complied, still sniggering.
“Where’d you go this morning anyway, Sal?” Jayden asked inquisitively.
“Yeah, we had to pull the prank without ya,” added G.
“Pardon me, boys, but I think you’ll be happy when you see what I have planned.” Sally reached into her inventory and pulled out three buckets of milk, an egg, some sugar and some wheat.
“Oh boy, Sal, are you making what I think you’re making?” Archie boomed eagerly.
“Well, when it’s my turn to make breakfast, I prefer to do it right,” she said as she started a complex series of crafts with the food items. “Especially when we have guests.” And Stan could have sworn that she caught his eye.
“Here we go,” she said after a minute of waiting. She held up a square cake. From what Stan could see, it was strawberry shortcake, which he didn’t understand, as Sally had added neither strawberries nor frosting. “Dig in.”
There were six equal pieces of cake. Everybody was given a slice except for Sally. Stan was about to eat his piece when he looked at Sally. She was glancing at him in an expectant way. Stan had a feeling he knew why.
“Uh, Sally? Do you, uh, wanna have some of my cake?”
“Why, thank you, Stan, I would like that very much.” She grabbed a knife from the table with the tools and cut Stan’s piece down the middle. She took half of it and ate it in one bite, giving a loud burp afterwards. G and Archie sniggered, but Stan wasn’t sure if it was because of Sally belching or him sharing his cake.
After they were finished eating, Jayden stood up. “Alrighty then, thank you, Sally, for the excellent breakfast.” There were murmurs of consent. “If anyone is still hungry, we’ll stop by my brother’s farm on the way to the school for watermelons. New inductees, put all your things in the extra chest in the corner over there, and follow me.”
After they had put their things away, the players left the building and went down the ladder, leaving Rex sitting in the room. As they walked down the main road of the village, they stopped just before the Town Hall and turned into the farm to the right of the Hall.
“This is where my brother lives,” explained Jayden, as they walked under the hedge that marked the entrance to the farm. “He’s the most productive farmer in this entire village, and the only one who is a higher level than Adoria. He’s level fifty-four, five higher than she is. The only problem is that he’s—”
“Hey, Jay!”
A player with wild grey hair and farmer’s clothing was running up to them, holding what appeared to be an iron hoe.
“Hey, hey, you guys! Hey, you guys are new?” he asked Stan, Kat and Charlie in a jittery fashion. “Ya look new, carryin’ around all dat stone crap, ya know, hey! Hey! Ya want some Lightnin’? Cause I know this great place where—”
“Steve, again? Really!? I thought that we agreed that you wouldn’t be QPOed on duty!” Jayden cried in an exasperated voice.
“I ain’t QPOed, whadevah’d give ya dat ideeeeee-ooooooooooooohhhh …” and then the crazed player – Steve, Jayden had called him – slunk down to the ground, clearly passed out.
“Oh, for the love of God,” moaned Jayden.
“What the … what … what just happened?” asked Kat, looking repulsed at the still body on the ground.
“Is he gonna be OK?” asked Charlie.
“Well, Charlie, yes he is, but I’m getting awfully sick of healing him,” sighed Jayden as he pulled an apple out of his bag. This apple was shimmering golden in the sunlight, and Jayden bent over and stuffed it into the player’s mouth. Jayden stood up.
“To answer your question, Kat, he was on a potion called the Potion of Swiftness, also called QPO or Lightning. It’s a potion that’ll give you a quick burst of energy, but it will make you weak for a short while afterwards. Steve here took too much QPO one night at a Spleef match, and he hasn’t been able to drink it without passing out afterwards ever since. It’s a shame. It really did help him run this farm more productively.”
“Hold on,” said Stan. “He runs the farm? That’s your brother?” He decided to save the question of what Spleef was for a later day.
“Yep,” said Jayden grimly. “You see, the only way to heal him is to give him a golden apple, which would normally heal you from an injury. The problem is, apples are really rare, and gold isn’t that common either, and that’s what you use to craft the golden apples.”
Steve had begun to stir. As he came to, Stan took an opportunity to look at the farm.
It was gigantic – it must have taken up a quarter of the entire Adorian village. There were fields and fields covered in wheat, pumpkins, watermelon and tall stalks that Stan couldn’t identify. Irrigation ditches ran between the plants. Cocoa bean pods grew on logs that looked like they came from a jungle. There were also pastures. There was a whole herd of cows and a group of pigs. Stan saw some sheep with white, black and brown wool, and some with no wool.
Stan looked around and also saw chickens, a pool filled with squid, some wolves and some things that looked like wild cats. But the