after several more substandard drama skits, Miss Webb calls on Elyse and Lexy.
It’s like we are all holding our breath, after what happened when it was Melanie’s turn, but Elyse just grins and strides out onto the makeshift stage. She screws up her piece of paper, shoves it into her pocket and puts her hands on her hips. Ready for combat. Then she says nothing so that Lexy is awkwardly forced into action.
‘Um, hi. I wondered if you might like to buy—’
‘Saleswoman!’ Alex shouts out.
The word disappears into the ether.
‘You killed it! Was it you? Did you kill it? I know you did! I will never forgive you, you evil bitch,’ Elyse shrieks hysterically.
Then she bursts into tears and, in slow motion, slides down the wall behind her, moaning softly and clutching her head. The room is silent and Lexy doesn’t know what to do with herself, looking over to her friends for help. Elyse carries on, lying crumpled on the floor, wailing and writhing. She’s literally hyperventilating. She doesn’t stop until Miss Webb claps her hands, like a hypnotist breaking the spell.
‘Lexy, sit down, please. Elyse, are you all right?’
But she’s too late.
‘Fine, thank you.’ Elyse smiles politely, already sitting up. ‘Sorry – I thought we were still acting out the scene. Nobody guessed it, so I carried on: my piece of paper said my cat just died.’
Before Miss Webb can say anything in reply, the bell rings. As I put on my blazer and pack up my schoolbag, I can see Amie and Alice corner Elyse before she leaves. Until now, I wasn’t sure which way this would go; I have already decided that the twins are immensely cool, but I had no idea whether the ‘in’ crowd of girls in my class would agree with me. However, it soon becomes obvious that the new girls have already got the seal of approval that I haven’t had the slightest sniff of in all the years I have been at this school. I realise then I’ve already missed my window and the lines have been set.
Still, as I watch them take out their phones and swap numbers with Amie and Alice, I decide that I’m glad they’re going to be around to make things a bit more interesting from now on.
Chapter Three
‘Oh my eff gee! So, do you think they were taking the piss in Drama this afternoon or do you think they’re just total freaks?’
‘I thought you didn’t care, Shimmi?’ I raise an eyebrow at her and receive an elevated middle finger in return.
‘I don’t know,’ Nathalie says, biting her lip. ‘I couldn’t figure it out at all. It was like, just whenever I’d think they were being genuine, they’d look at each other like it was a game or something. I think they’re trouble.’
‘Ha! Chance’d be a fine thing at St Tedious’s.’ Shimmi looks delighted at the thought.
‘I don’t think that’s fair.’ I decide to speak up for once. ‘I liked them. They don’t know how it works in a school like ours. So they were just being themselves. They didn’t bother hiding their feelings like we all do – I thought it was pretty cool, actually.’
‘Yeah, well, you would. Hippie!’
Shimmi chucks a cushion at me that smacks me round my left ear. We’re at Nathalie’s house which, to be accurate, is more like a mansion, on account of her parents being mega-rich and her uncle owning Harrods or something. No joke. It’s behind massive electric gates and down a long driveway that has its own roundabout with a fountain, and inside it’s all gold and marble and Persian rugs and priceless vases – it has more in common with the British Museum than it does with my house.
Nathalie’s mum, who can be a bit scary but we all actually really like, invariably goes out on weekend nights, and her dad’s always away for work; so we’re left with the housekeeper, who spends most of her time Skyping with her boyfriend in Switzerland and couldn’t care less what we do. That’s why Shimmi and I come over here on a Friday night pretty regularly. Sometimes there’s a party on or we go to a gig, or into town to try to get into a pub that isn’t the hallowed A-Group territory of The Crown, but we’re not exactly party monsters.
MTV is blaring – Shimmi is so obsessed with Beyoncé, and wanting to be exactly like her, that Nathalie and I couldn’t get a look in even if we wanted to watch something else. Luckily, we don’t. I might prefer guitar bands and girls with keyboards and synths, but I’m not exactly immune to the lure of wanting to look like Alexa Chung or Natasha Khan.
Nathalie’s mum left us out a couple of Bacardi Breezers each – bless her and her retro ways – and we’ve commandeered everything that looked most exciting from the fridge. We’ll probably order a pizza later anyway, even though I’m already nearly stuffed.
‘So, Sorana,’ Shimmi says, slyly changing the subject, ‘isn’t Josh coming over to your house tomorrow night?’
‘Oh yeah, it’s a totally hot date. Me and Josh and both of our families… Anyway, he might not even come – his mum said he might have some rugby party or something.’
‘Whatever. I would do literally anything to get Josh Green in my house on a Saturday night. And I mean anything.’
‘Urgh, Shim! Stop doing your sexy face about Josh!’
‘Besides,’ Nathalie speaks up, giving Shimmi a sideways look, ‘it’s not like any of us stands a chance, is it? Not unless we suddenly turn into leggy blondes and become friends with Amie Bellairs.’
As this sad-but-true fact has always existed, Nathalie sounds surprisingly vexed about it. So, I might as well take a deep breath and drop a bombshell.
‘Yeah, when I saw him at Easter, he told me he’d got drunk and kissed Lexy White at some house party…’
The gasps that follow this revelation are hardly unexpected, and I cover my face with a pillow as I prepare for the onslaught.
‘Lexy White? That skanky bleached-blonde halfwit?’ Shimmi is indignant. ‘How could he?’
Nathalie just sounds bruised: ‘But Easter was weeks ago. Why didn’t you tell us, Sorana?’
I weigh it up and decide that I might as well be honest. ‘I didn’t tell anyone because, at the time, I was so upset about it. You know, that was when I was completely crushed-out on Josh, and it was like he was rubbing my nose in it – I just didn’t want to talk about it.’
‘Urgh, I don’t blame you,’ Nathalie mutters.
‘Anyway, I’m totally over it now so I don’t care.’ And I really am over Josh. I’m sure I was only ever in love with him in the first place because he’s practically the only boy I know in my age bracket.
‘Yeah, but still…’ Shimmi won’t let it lie ‘I can’t believe that bitch Lexy White. Her and her friends think they’re so great. One day, those girls are totally going to get what’s coming to them…’
It’s never going to happen, but it makes us feel better. So, after talking about boys, bands, and – let’s face it: mostly – bitching about our much cooler classmates, we settle down to the serious business of the evening. Ever since we stayed up late to watch Psycho and The Birds with my mum’s boyfriend Pete at my house a couple of months ago, we’ve been obsessed with really old, creepy horror films.
We drag our sleeping bags down to the sitting room, switch off the lights and crack open the Häagen-Dazs, and watch at least two, sometimes three, scary movies. We all scream out loud at regular intervals, make a big show of clutching each other dramatically, but then refuse to admit it when none of us wants to go up to the bathroom on our own afterwards.
Sometimes I think I wouldn’t actually want to go to The Crown on a Friday night, like the A Group do every week without