Derek Landy

American Monsters


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barely got a grunt in return.

      Milo leaned a little closer. “You realise she took your bag, right?”

      Amber looked down at the space her bag had been occupying. “Ah balls.”

       Logo Missing

      AMBER HURRIED OUT OF the motel office, caught a glimpse of the blonde disappearing round the corner. There was no one else around so she shifted. She ran to the Charger, jumped and got a foot on the edge of the hood, then sprang, reaching the roof of the motel. She kept low as she jogged across the rooftop, anticipating the blonde’s path. She dropped down the other side, reverted to normal, and waited a few seconds, until she heard running footsteps. Then she stepped out and the blonde shrieked and leaped backwards, lost her footing and fell.

      “I think you have my bag,” said Amber, looking down at her.

      “Holy crap!” the blonde said, not even trying to get up. “How did you do that? You nearly gave me a heart attack! How did you do that?”

      Amber picked up her bag. “This is mine.”

      The blonde lay back, flattening herself out on the ground. “My nerves are shot. Gimme a second.”

      Amber couldn’t help but smile. “You okay?”

      “No. I’m really not.”

      “Sorry for scaring you.”

      “You should be.”

      “But you did steal my bag.”

      “That doesn’t give you the right to scare me.”

      “Kinda does, though.”

      The blonde sighed, then sat up. “You’re lucky I didn’t pee myself.”

      “I think you’re the lucky one in that regard.”

      “These are my only pants. You’d have had to buy me a new pair.”

      “I don’t think I would have, but okay. Do you need a hand?”

      “I don’t accept charity.”

      “I meant, do you need a hand up?”

      “Oh. No, but I’ll take some charity if you have any.” She got up, rubbed her butt. “That hurt. You’re faster than you look.”

      “I’d have to be.”

      “So what are you gonna do? Turn me in?”

      Amber frowned. “Turn you into what?”

      “Turn me in to the cops, dummy.”

      “Oh,” said Amber. “No, not really.”

      “Right,” the blonde said, and looked around. “Then do you want to buy me dinner?”

      “Uh … is this how you treat everyone you steal from?”

      “Just the ones who look like they might say yes.” The blonde grinned. “Go on, say yes. I haven’t eaten all day. Just buy me a burger. A cheeseburger. And fries with ketchup. And a Sprite. And maybe some pie for dessert. And a sandwich to go. You owe me at least that.”

      “I don’t owe you anything.”

      “Shush now.”

      “Listen, I’ve had a long day, and I’m really tired.”

      “Are you hungry?”

      “I … well, yeah, but—”

      “Then it’s settled,” the blonde said, clapping her hands. “I won’t steal your bag and, in return, you buy me food. What a wonderful bargain we’ve struck.”

      Amber said goodnight to Milo, dropped her bag in her room, and joined the blonde girl in a badly upholstered booth in the diner. They ordered, and looked at each other.

      “Name’s Clarissa,” the blonde girl said.

      “Amber.”

      “I like your name.”

      “I like yours, too.”

      “Thanks,” Clarissa said. “It’s not my real name, but I picked it because I always liked it. There was a show I used to watch on reruns, and her name was called Clarissa and she had a happy family and friends and everything, so when I left I said I know, I’m gonna be like her. She always seemed to have her life in order, in a Clarissa Explains It All kinda way.”

      “You ran away from home?”

      “Home is a bit of a stretch. House with abusive stepdad is more accurate. What’s your story?”

      “I guess I ran away, too.”

      “That guy you’re with,” said Clarissa. “Boyfriend?”

      Amber laughed. “No. Friend.”

      Clarissa shrugged. “That’s cool. Must be nice to have someone watching your back.”

      “It is. How long have you been, y’know …?”

      Clarissa widened her eyes, like it was a scandalous notion. “Homeless? A year. Well, just under. It’s really everything you’d expect. You get to sleep under the stars, the world is your bathroom and the people are … peachy. Non-stop fun is what it is.”

      Amber searched for the right words. “I guess you’ve met all kinds on the road.”

      “That I have, Amber,” said Clarissa.

      “Same here. Some of the people I’ve met have been scarier than others.”

      Clarissa nodded. “I can relate.”

      “You meet some real monsters out there.”

      “Yep,” said Clarissa. “Some complete jerks.”

      The drinks came, and Amber watched Clarissa pull the straw out of her glass and gulp the Sprite down. It had been so long since she’d spoken with someone who hadn’t been, as Glen would have put it, touched by darkness, that it now seemed weird to conduct a normal conversation.

      Weird but nice.

      Clarissa drained her Sprite and Amber pushed hers over. “Here. I’m not thirsty.”

      Clarissa didn’t argue, but this time she kept the straw in and sucked at a more civilised pace. “Where you from?”

      “Florida,” Amber said. “Orlando.”

      “Disney World.”

      “Yep.”

      “Always wanted to go,” said Clarissa, “and my dad always said he was gonna take me. But then he got cancer, the kind they don’t cure. And, when he was gone, no one wanted to take me anywhere.”

      “My parents are evil,” said Amber.

      “That must suck.”

      “So must losing a dad you actually love.”

      “Yeah. Anyway, toilet break.”

      Clarissa slid out of the booth. The moment she was gone, Amber’s demon-self slid in. Amber immediately looked at her hands.

      “Think you’ve found a new friend, do you?” her demon-self asked. “I wouldn’t bother getting to know her. She’s going to abandon you. Like Kelly abandoned you, and Imelda abandoned you …”

      “Milo’s still here,” Amber muttered, not raising her eyes.

      Her demon-self grinned. “Did you really buy that bullshit? He’s waiting for payday. The moment he gets his money,