but we can’t quite place whether the concussion from the accident caused the amnesia or if it was a symptom of something else prior to the accident. Bertha said that he couldn’t remember little things at the beginning of the summer, long before any of this happened.
“Don’t worry. We’re flying in a top-notch neurosurgeon from L.A. at the end of the week. One of ours,” he adds.
Of course, one of ours. We are a water species, living for the most part in the shadows of the deep, but that doesn’t mean we don’t keep our fingers on the pulse of everything landside, from global policy to technology to politics to neurosurgeons. If it can help Lo, I’m all for it.
“You think the amnesia was already there before he passed out?” I ask. “From what?”
Echlios walks to the wall of windows, staring out at the ocean beyond. His face is creased, the lines on his forehead deep with tension. He takes a deep breath as if trying to find the right words. “Stress,” he says after a while. “Emotional trauma.”
Jenna’s earlier words come back to haunt me...about people dying of broken hearts and being physically compromised by their intense emotions. “Emotional trauma,” I repeat.
Echlios nods. “He killed his mother. We have no idea what kind of effect that can have on someone.”
“She wanted to kill him,” I argue weakly.
“Doesn’t matter. It’s still traumatic.”
“Why?”
Echlios sighs. “Because he’s part human. He can’t turn it off as easily as we can. Humans aren’t predators. It’s not so simple for them.” He stops and walks toward me, his voice gentling. “What’s going on with Lo is an incredibly rare form of amnesia—dissociative amnesia—that occurs after intense emotional shock. At least, that’s the initial diagnosis.”
As much as I try, I can’t seem get my mind around it. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any human DNA, or maybe our Aquarathi brains don’t work that way. It’s not a lack of empathy, necessarily, more of an adapt-to-survive way of thinking. Emotions just aren’t that critical to us—sure, we have them deep down, as I’d discovered from my people when I fought Ehmora in the arena, but other physiological needs like hunger and thirst take precedence. It’s a matter of survival in the wild. Humans let emotions affect them far too much and, obviously now in Lo’s case, to the point of physical weakness.
At that moment, Lo reenters the room carrying two tall glasses of pink lemonade. “Here you go.”
“Thanks,” I say. It was easier with him out of the room. My senses are so acutely tuned in to him that now I feel claustrophobic, as if his very presence is suffocating me. On top of that, every drop of water in my body is reaching toward him...reaching for its other half. The sensation is dull and aching, as if my skin is separating from the flesh beneath it. I take a deep breath and a sip of my drink.
“So, will you be at Dover for our senior year?” Lo asks, resuming his position on the couch beside me.
“I don’t think so. We’re not here for long. School started a few weeks ago, right?”
“Yeah.”
Our conversation seems normal on the surface, but underneath, it feels stilted and uncomfortable, as if we’re two kids set up by overeager parents. I clear my throat awkwardly. “So I guess I’ll see you around—”
The shrill sound of Lo’s cell phone interrupts my sentence. “I have to take this, hang on,” he says to me, and taps on the screen. “Hey, Cara, what’s up?”
Lo walks to the other side of the room, but I can still hear his side of the conversation. My stomach free-falls to my feet. They’re making plans to meet up at the Crab Shack. “No, I’m free,” he says. “I can meet you in, like, half an hour. Seriously, I’m almost done here.” I’m crumbling inside with every word...every little sound that leaves Lo’s mouth, saying I’m nothing to him.
Sinking into the couch, I’m barely conscious of Echlios taking a seat next to me. I was wrong about us being emotionless. Maybe our emotions run far deeper than those of humans, because nothing should feel like this. Nothing should feel like my very bones are breaking into tiny little pieces inside me, turning into ash. This isn’t survival now; it’s something else entirely...something beyond my comprehension.
“Echlios—” I choke out. And he’s there, grabbing my numb fingers in his and drawing me back from the edge of the abyss.
“Breathe,” he pulses to me softly in our language.
“I need to go. It hurts too much to be this near him,” I whisper.
Before Lo and I bonded, I wasn’t able to feel him as an Aquarathi because of his hybrid genes, and the link that finally connected us feels like it’s weakening by the second. Queen or not, I can feel him leaning away, and there’s no way to stop it.
Or maybe there is.
I squeeze Echlios’s hand, unsure of what I’m about to do but knowing that I must do it nonetheless. “Can you wait outside? Take Bertha with you. I know what I have to do.”
“My queen, I must insist—” Echlios says, his eyes widening at my meaning.
“Echlios, please. I have to know. And this is the only way—surely you of all people know that.”
“But a glimmer?” Echlios’s eyebrows snap together so tightly I’m surprised that he can see anything beneath that ominous frown. “What if he latches on unconsciously? You’re bonded now. That connection goes both ways.” He shakes his head. “With the amnesia, it’s just too dangerous.”
“I’ll deal with that if it happens, but from what I’ve seen, he won’t notice it. He doesn’t know me. Trust me, I’ll be safe, I promise. I have to try, Echlios. Please.”
Echlios watches me, his eyes like a brewing thunderstorm, but eventually he nods and gives in to my wishes. “Be careful, then. If you feel anything, you separate immediately, okay? I’ll be right outside this door.”
“I will,” I promise, even though a part of me deep down wants Lo to feel my glimmer and take me into him. I want him to fight for me.
After Echlios leaves, I source the water in my body and prepare myself for hydroprojection, or as we call it, glimmering. I can connect with other Aquarathi as well as humans via the moisture in the air and in their bodies. It allows me to speak to them, understand their impulses or even control them by the power of suggestion, if necessary. Which I’ve only ever done once. And never to any of my friends.
So this is still new for me, which is why Echlios is on edge. If Lo’s Aquarathi side unconsciously fastens to my glimmer for whatever reason, he could suck the energy right out of me through our bond...as in my entire Aquarathi life force. But I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, and I’ve no intention of letting that happen. It’s a risk, but one I’ll take.
Calling upon my water, I pull it toward my center until it’s a heavy weight resting near the middle of my chest. Gently, I push it toward Lo, who is still talking to Cara. The sound of her name ripples through me like a tidal wave, and the glimmer dissipates in a wild rush, slamming back into me and making me breathless. I’m still gasping and trying to compose myself as Lo ends his call and walks back over to me.
“You all right?” he says, frowning.
“Fine,” I manage, coughing. “Lemonade went down the wrong way.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, and then gestures to the phone in his pocket. “Sorry about taking that call, too. I didn’t mean to be rude. That was just Cara, one of my friends.”
I take a gulp of my drink, ignoring the sharp sting of jealousy, and will myself to focus on what I’m about to do. “So, do you still hang out with Sawyer and Jenna?”
Lo’s eyes light up. “Sure. Sawyer’s