sensation in her fingernails. Completely different from the spells she’d managed to teach herself by sneaking books out of Gran’s house: no words, no rituals, no music. Just raw power. She hadn’t dared try to cast a spell deliberately, to check what was going on. Maybe it was all these months of not allowing herself to practise witchcraft, or the nightmare situation with Alex leading up to her decision to quit. Maybe it was because she’d never been properly trained. She had no idea – there was no one to ask about it. As far as Mum or Gran were concerned, she didn’t do magic.
Merry glanced down at her fingers. Her nails still throbbed, but otherwise there was no outward sign of the energy that had surged through her hands. They looked normal, just like she did. Which was a joke, because she’d wanted to be normal for so long. Not in the beginning, not when she first found out she was a witch, but after Alex –
She was desperate to be normal. At least, she’d thought that was what she wanted. It was what she’d wished for.
Well, maybe she was finally getting her wish. Maybe her magic was going crazy because it was draining away. Leaving her. And that was a good thing. The best thing that could be happening to her.
Wasn’t it?
* * *
The bell rang. Merry was still sitting in the stall, staring absentmindedly at some graffiti daubed across the cubicle door, asking anyone who happened to be sitting on the loo with a pencil to ‘Tick if you came here to get out of PE’. She couldn’t face going to her last class. The day was nearly over, anyhow.
‘Merry? Come on, I – what the – what happened to the mirror?’
Merry swore silently. Ruby was her best friend, had been since they both started secondary school five-and-a-half years ago. She should have known Ruby would come to find her.
‘I know you’re in here, Merry. Lucy said you looked like you were about to faint. Mind you, she also said your fingernails were glowing. Have you bought some of that glow-in-the-dark nail varnish? Can I borrow it?’
Merry emerged from the stall.
Ruby looked her up and down, frowning.
‘You look crap. What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing. Just felt a bit sick. I didn’t sleep well last night, but I’m fine now.’ Merry walked over to the basin with the least glass in it, ran the tap and splashed some cold water on her face. A glance in one of the mirrored fragments made her wince. Her hair was wrecked: twisted into knotty tendrils where she’d been running her fingers through it – even more of a contrast than usual to Ruby’s glossy curls. Her face was paler than normal, her hazel eyes puffy and red-rimmed. The ear infection was obviously some horrible virus. Flu, or something. ‘Is there a bug going round?’
‘Not that I know of. Morning sickness?’
‘Hilarious.’
While Merry dried her face on some hand towels, Ruby took the opportunity to pull out a small mirror and touch up her lipstick.
‘So, why aren’t you sleeping? Is it because of these attacks? My sister’s been having nightmares all week.’
Occasionally, Ruby could be almost too perceptive.
‘Your sister’s ten. And why would I have nightmares? I can take care of myself, you know.’
‘Alright, keep your knickers on.’ Ruby started fiddling with the stack of bracelets on her wrist, turning them over and over. ‘I heard from Alex, by the way.’
Merry stiffened. Alex would never reveal to anybody what she’d told him. Probably. And if he did, Ruby wouldn’t believe him. Probably. She’d never believed the gossip that sometimes got repeated about Merry’s family.
Still …
‘He says he’s doing OK,’ Ruby continued. Merry relaxed fractionally. ‘His counsellor’s got him into extreme sport, running obstacle courses or something. Sounded a bit of a nightmare, to be honest, though you’d probably love it.’ She shrugged. ‘I still think you should text him – at least try and figure out what his problem is. I mean, you saved his life, Merry. Surely he must want to talk to you?’
Merry turned away and yanked some more paper towels out of the dispenser. Ruby was right, in a way. Alex had jumped off a bridge into a flooded river, and Merry had gone in after him. She had saved him. Had stopped him drowning, at any rate. But Alex wouldn’t want to talk to her again, not in a million years. He hated her, and she didn’t blame him.
It was definitely time to change the subject.
‘Let’s go to the library for a bit. Leo’s picking me up around six – he could give you a lift home, if you like?’
Ruby’s eyes glazed over.
‘Hell yeah.’
As they stood outside school waiting for Leo, Merry wondered if she had made a mistake. Offering Ruby a lift was probably going to land her in trouble. At eighteen, Leo was only two years older than Merry, but he’d gone all superior and grown-up over the last few months since he’d left school; at least, he had when he wasn’t hanging out with his best friend Dan. Plus, Ruby had a massive crush on him, and she wasn’t shy about letting him know it.
Leo definitely wasn’t into Ruby. He wasn’t really into girls at all. But only Merry knew. Leo hadn’t told anyone else: not Mum, and certainly not any of his friends.
Things had come to a head the previous summer. Leo, Dan and his other close friend, Simon, had spent four months hitchhiking their way around the US. By the time they had flown back to the UK Leo had realised that he liked Dan – really liked him – and not just in a best mates kind of way. Merry remembered the conversation word for word.
‘I think you should tell him, Leo. Maybe he feels the same way.’
‘Dan? You’ve got to be kidding me. He’s got a serious girlfriend. He’s completely loved up. Besides, Simon just wouldn’t understand. I don’t know how he and the others would react if I told them. I think – I’m not sure they’d think I was me any more.’
He’d had such a dejected look on his face. Merry had hugged him and told him she loved him and supported him, over and over. She had also (in her head) threatened to curse anyone who gave him a hard time, once he’d got up the nerve to actually tell them.
Leo’s battered black Peugeot pulled up to the curb now. Merry could see his blue eyes widen in disbelief, then narrow – he shook his head at her. She was probably going to pay for this later. But before she could say anything Ruby had surged ahead and jumped into the front seat. Leo said hello to her pleasantly enough. Then he turned back towards Merry, and glared.
It was going to be a long ride home.
It was Merry’s turn to make dinner. Yesterday, Leo had made them sausages and mash, so Merry, who was generally speaking a better (though unenthusiastic) cook, decided to go for something marginally healthier and try a vegetable stir fry recipe she’d torn out of a magazine. She was pretty pleased with it, but Leo spent most of the meal picking out the broccoli and complaining about Ruby, Merry’s friends in general, and the fact that he was having to ‘babysit’ her. It was true that Ruby had been unbearable in the car: giggling at everything Leo said, brushing her hand against his leg at every opportunity. Merry didn’t blame him for being annoyed. Plus, she knew he was tired in the evenings; he was working long hours on a local farm, saving money for when he started studying medicine in September. But still, she finally had enough.
‘For God’s sake, Leo, she was only in the car for half-an-hour. And it’s not like I expect you to stay in with me every evening. You’re out just as much as I am. Why are you being so obnoxious?’
And that was it. They ended up having a massive row, basically about nothing. Leo spent the rest of the evening in his room, not even coming down for the latest episode of their favourite sci-fi show.
Now