the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, and yet he hadn’t been able to help himself and had done it anyway. And it had been a slow dance.
He’d had a couple of beers already; even so he’d known he shouldn’t talk to or dance with this girl, but he hadn’t been able to resist. Not when she’d been right there, smiling so pretty.
Zebulon stopped without reason, and Trevor snapped out of his memories, realizing they were already at the fence line, and sure enough a couple of posts were down. He texted Jack, the ranch foreman, giving him the location, and waited for his reply.
And he remembered Julie’s bright, though guarded, eyes from earlier, how they’d still enticed him. How they’d brought back memories of that last summer home before med school, and his taking advantage of the young woman’s willingness that night. How they’d reminded him of innocence, both his and hers. She was right—she could have ruined the life he’d planned if she’d told him about the pregnancy back then. But she hadn’t. That had taken some guts.
In order to get through her orientation at the clinic, he’d have to turn into the Tin Man. Even now her playful hair and matured features grabbed him in a place he’d rather forget. Yeah, the Tin Man approach was the only ticket regarding her working for him. Good thing his nasty breakup with Kimberley—how she’d dropped him like a bad virus when he’d chosen family medicine over a more prestigious specialty the fourth year of med school—had already taught him how to turn his heart to metal.
His cell phone blipped, bringing him back to the range. Jack had got the message.
Normally, Trevor would have thought to bring his fence-repair kit with him, but today he’d been so distracted by Julie’s news, it had taken all his brainpower just to saddle up and mount his horse. He glanced upward to a cloudless sky, then downrange, seeing hundreds of head of cattle roaming on snow-spotted land.
Getting a girl pregnant hadn’t been his plan that year. Not by a long shot. Hell, he’d just found out the week before his mother had had an abnormal endometrial biopsy and needed more tests. Worrying about her, and about how his first semester in competitive medical school would go, with his big brother’s exceptional brain to compete with, he’d decided to let off some steam that one last weekend, before he’d have to completely buckle down.
And he’d danced with the girl with wild hair and the biggest eyes he could remember.
Zebulon whinnied about something, and Trevor glanced up again. Jack was already heading to the fence and had nearly caught up to him. Who knew how long Trevor had been sitting on the range, staring and thinking?
The man waved as he approached, then stopped. “Thanks for the heads up. We can’t afford to have any more steer wander off. Not with the grey wolves showing up more and more in these parts.”
“Thanks.”
“Until we can budget for putting chips in our cattle, we’ll have to manage like we always have.” Branding and fences seemed so far out of date. Jack was in his early forties and kept up with modern ranching trends. Truth was, Tiberius—Monty—Montgomery was old-school, and not the least bit interested in learning new techniques, or utilizing software and technology for running his ranch. The man still insisted on keeping handwritten bookkeeping ledgers, which Trevor would have to transfer to his own computer books when he got home.
“I’ll talk to Dad again about the cost to chip the cattle, and mention the long-term savings.”
“You do that. Maybe he’ll listen to you.”
Trevor seriously doubted it.
The men smiled at each other and went their separate ways, leaving Trevor to his mind-boggling thoughts. He remembered the exact instant he’d realized Julie was a virgin, he’d stopped thrusting for a moment and looked at her. “Are you sure?” he’d asked. Though she’d grimaced, she’d bucked under his hips, urging him not to stop. He had been soon taken over by his desire; the fact they were having sex while lying in a foot of hay in a barn loft for her first time hadn’t registered. Nope, it was only after they’d snuggled up close afterwards, and he had smelled summer in her hair and sex on her skin, that he’d started to feel guilty. He’d been on the verge of bringing up the subject when two of her friends had called her name at the barn entrance, told her they were leaving and she’d better come with them. Julie had jumped up, thrown on her dress and underwear, then kissed him one last time and disappeared with her girlfriends. That was when their situation had started to sink in.
No, she wouldn’t see him again.
She hadn’t had a clue he’d be gone by Monday, yet he’d let her go, then lain there and stared through the cracks in the roof of the barn at the black summer sky, thinking he’d done something he shouldn’t have. Something he’d really enjoyed, but would regret. And he hadn’t even had the decency to see her home.
Well, at least she hadn’t lost her virginity in the back of the old beat-up car he’d been driving that summer, his brother’s hand-me-down. A barn loft had to be more romantic than that. Right?
He racked his brain and knew he’d used contraception, just as he had all through college. No girl had gotten pregnant … until Julie.
Zebulon galloped toward the barn, like a homing pigeon, obviously eager to get brushed and fed. Trevor dismounted his horse and pushed the nagging thought of Julie and that night out of his mind. He should have at least said goodbye to her. It was the decent thing to do. He should have called and told her he was sorry for taking her virginity, too. Yet he’d done neither. Instead he’d left town for med school and never looked back. Soon forgetting all about her and that night.
Until her name and credentials had come across his desk on a job application.
His long-overdue apology hadn’t been the least bit honorable. It had been obligatory and smarmy. What a heel he’d turned out to be.
Trevor walked the path to his home, the only place he’d ever lived, outside college and medical school, and gritted his teeth thinking it would be extra hard to hide his feelings from his father over dinner tonight. But he sure as hell would because this was one topic he did not want to bring up over one of Gretchen’s casseroles.
But at least by hiring Julie today, he had a chance to make up for taking advantage of her thirteen years ago. There might still be a chance to win back a thread of honor. To meet his son and become the father the kid deserved.
The thought scared the tar out of him.
The next morning Julie kept her word and arrived at the clinic fifteen minutes early, butterflies swarming through her insides and gathering in her stomach. Charlotte, the RN, was there to greet her. Late forties. Graying dull brown hair pulled back tight in a low ponytail. Stocky and average height, wearing a glaring white uniform. Julie surmised the woman loved being a nurse.
“So you’re our new RNP?” Charlotte shoved out a sturdy and rough hand for a shake. “Nice to meet you. Call me Lotte, like my friends. What do you say I give you a tour of the joint before you shadow Dr. Montgomery?”
Grateful for putting off facing Trevor for a second time, especially since she could barely sleep last night from thinking of him, Julie smiled. “I’d love to, thanks.”
Fifteen minutes later, having been shown how each examination room was set up, as well as the procedure room, where the medical supplies and ever-important linens were kept, Julie was escorted back to Trevor’s office.
“Good morning,” he said, looking intriguing and appealing with a day’s growth of beard. The vision nearly made her stop in her tracks. Then she noticed his wildeyed glance and understood how deeply she’d rocked his world yesterday.
Yeah, they both had things to deal with, and working together wouldn’t be easy.
Julie greeted him with a catch in her breath. Those flashing dark eyes were responsible. As well as the perfectly ironed classic Western shirt. Why did she have to notice?
She’d taken extra care to wear comfortable