The grin widened. ‘He is a perfect gentleman; you have to marry him and go with him before he’ll do anything. Like I said, can’t wait.’
I put my head in my hands. ‘Oh God.’
Louise dropped her voice to a low purr. ‘Soft white fur.’
I folded my arms on the table and dropped my head on them. I wanted to bang my head on the table. ‘Oh God! I am going to kill that bastard when I see him!’ I glared up at her. ‘He promised me he’d stay away from you!’
‘Oh, that explains it,’ Louise said. ‘I had to chase him around for ages. Took a long time to finally make him give in.’
I buried my head in my arms. ‘I am going to kill him.’
The waiter came back and I lifted my head. He placed four jelly coconut milk drinks and a pineapple rice on the table, and turned away.
I stopped him. ‘We didn’t order this.’
He froze, then his face stiffened. He picked up the drinks and the rice with disdain and stomped away.
‘What did your family say when you told them?’ I said.
‘They’re not speaking to me.’ She changed her voice so that she sounded very stern and spoke down her nose. ‘I cannot tell you how disappointed I am.’ She grinned. ‘Makes it easier, really.’
‘You’re throwing your whole life away to be one of a hundred,’ I said.
‘One hundred and seventeen. But the first fifty or so are really old and ugly. No competition. He just keeps them around ’cause he has to.’ Her eyes sparkled. ‘Like you can talk, anyway. I hear yours has scales. Yuck.’
‘What are you talking about?’ April said, completely bewildered.
The waiter came and plonked some dishes onto the table. He glared at me. ‘We ordered some drinks too,’ I said. He stomped off.
‘Scales?’ April said softly. ‘You have a man, Emma? Not this Chen man, is it?’
‘Yep,’ Louise said with satisfaction. ‘Engaged to him.’
‘You going to marry John Chen?’ April turned away. ‘Lucky you. When’s the wedding?’
‘Not for a long time, April. A lot of problems. May never happen at all.’
‘Lighten up, Emma,’ Louise said. ‘The Tiger says it’ll happen.’
I didn’t say anything.
‘Why did you say he has scales?’ April said.
‘He’s a turtle,’ Louise said with relish.
I glanced up quickly. April inhaled sharply, her eyes very wide.
‘You say that about Emma’s man? You insult Emma too? What a horrible thing to say!’
‘What?’ Louise said, not understanding. ‘What did I say?’
April leaned across the table towards Louise. ‘You said he’s a turtle,’ she hissed.
‘That’s a shocking insult, Louise,’ I said.
‘Is it? No wonder the Tiger says it all the time.’ Louise grinned. ‘What does it mean?’
‘Man who cannot satisfy wife,’ April said, very softly. ‘Wife turns to other men.’
‘Cuckold,’ I said.
‘Whoa.’ Louise’s eyes widened with delight. ‘Cool. Good one.’
‘Same thing as wearing a green hat,’ April said.
‘Why turtle?’ Louise said. ‘Why is that particular animal the insult?’
I didn’t want to discuss it. ‘I have no idea.’
‘I don’t know either,’ April said. ‘Just turtle is very offensive animal. Lot of insults attached to it.’
I studied them. April: living in dreamland, believing she had a family when she only saw her man every few weeks. Louise: willing to share a man with more than a hundred others. And me.
I was probably the most pathetic of us all.
‘Will I still be able to see you, Louise?’ I said.
‘Since you know all about it, you might be able to talk to me occasionally,’ Louise said, still obviously happy. ‘Don’t count on anything; usually when we go there we’re gone for good. Never seen again.’
‘What?’ April said. ‘You don’t mean that, do you? I don’t understand.’
‘Your poor family,’ I whispered.
‘Thoroughly worth it.’ Louise glanced down at the dishes. ‘Is this what we ordered?’
I looked at the dishes as well and sagged. ‘Nope.’
‘The economic downturn hasn’t affected this place at all,’ Louise said as she tried to catch the waiter’s eye. ‘They still act as if they’re doing us a favour by letting us eat here.’
‘I’m glad everything turned out for all of us,’ April said. ‘We’ll all be happy married women.’
I really did feel the need to bang my head on the table.
I tapped on John’s office door and opened it a crack. ‘Free to talk?’
‘Just let me save this file,’ he said, studying the computer, then turned and leaned his elbows on the pile of papers on his desk. ‘What?’
‘It’s May fifth. The festival’s started. And you haven’t done anything.’
‘Aiya,’ he said, and I giggled. ‘What?’
‘That’s an extremely Cantonese sound coming from you,’ I said, still smiling.
‘I’ve heard you say it too. You can pick people who have lived in Hong Kong for any length of time, even expats. They all say it.’
‘Cheung Chau,’ I said, bringing him back to the point.
‘Aiya,’ he said again. ‘It’s already started?’
‘The buns are up, John. The three effigies have already been built.’
‘When’s the big day?’
‘Three days from now. May eighth.’ I sighed with exasperation. ‘Why don’t you ever look in your diary?’
‘I have a secretary and I have you,’ he said. ‘I don’t need to.’
‘You forgot your own birthday, Pak Tai.’
‘You know it’s not my birthday,’ he said impatiently. ‘It’s the Buddha’s birthday. They just lumped me into the holiday because it was convenient.’
‘Did you know him?’
‘Who?’
‘The Sakyamuni Buddha.’
He hesitated, watching me, then, ‘No.’
‘What about the teachings?’
‘What about them?’
‘Are they true? The Buddhist Precepts?’
He sighed. ‘You know better than to ask me that, Emma. You know you have to find your own way.’
I shrugged it off, it was worth a try. ‘Okay, so when’s your birthday?’
‘You know I have no idea,’ he said. ‘After four and a half thousand years I’d challenge anybody to have an idea. I doubt if I was ever actually born, anyway. I just am.’
‘Well then, Eighth