I astonish myself.”
“You are wise—you understand about people. Actually that’s the reason I came over,” Margaret said, sitting back on the sofa and cradling her mug with both hands. She paused, hesitant to proceed.
Maddy said nothing, her expression quizzical.
“Matt Eilers stopped by last week to offer his condolences.”
Maddy added a spoonful of sugar to her tea. “He’s a little late, don’t you think?”
“He apologized for that,” Margaret said, quick to defend him. She took a deep breath. “When he was ready to leave, I walked him out to his truck….”
“And?” Maddy seemed to sense something important had happened because she gazed steadily at Margaret as she waited for her to go on.
“Well, before he left—” she paused a second time “—now, I don’t want you to misjudge him … I realize Matt isn’t one of your favorite people.”
“I don’t dislike him,” Maddy assured her.
“But you don’t trust him.”
Maddy stirred her tea with no comment, then said, “I can be fair. You’d better tell me.”
Margaret was dying to do so. “Oh, Maddy, he kissed me and it was just as wonderful as I dreamed it would be. At first, I didn’t know what to think, since it was such a surprise and all. He started to open his truck door, then turned back, took me by the shoulders and out of the blue, he kissed me!”
“He kissed you,” Maddy repeated in a low voice.
“Yes, and Maddy, oh Maddy, it was wonderful!”
“I’m sure it was….”
“I realize every other woman in the entire universe has more experience with men than I do.” If it wasn’t for Matt, she probably wouldn’t care to this day. Being a woman, all that feminine stuff, was something she’d never had any interest in. She’d considered it trivial and, more than that, irrelevant. Most people blamed her father for not seeing to the proper upbringing of a little girl. But that was unfair. Few understood that she’d loved him so much she was determined to fulfill his every wish. Bernard Clemens had wanted a son, so Margaret had spent her entire life trying to be one.
The first time she’d felt a woman’s emotions had been a shock. Matt Eilers was the reason for that revelation. One day she saw him and it felt as if she’d been hit over the head with a frying pan. He was the most gorgeous creature she’d ever laid eyes on and she wanted him in the worst way. Wanted him the way a woman wants a man.
“Now all I think about is Matt’s kiss … except when I’m feeling depressed about my dad.”
“Oh, Margaret …”
“No, listen, I’m happy he did it. Really happy—but I don’t know what it means.”
Maddy didn’t appear to have an immediate answer herself. She kept stirring her tea until any sugar had long dissolved. “I don’t know what to suggest,” she said finally.
“The problem is, I haven’t seen him since,” Margaret murmured, unable to hide how discouraged this made her feel. “Do you think he didn’t like the kiss—that I might have done it wrong?”
“No.” At least Maddy sounded confident about that.
“What should I do?” she asked next. Her friend usually had answers.
“Do?” Maddy echoed, seemingly lost in thought. She set her cup aside and leaned forward, taking Margaret’s hand between both of hers. “Listen carefully. I know how you feel about Matt.”
“I love him,” she stated simply.
“But I want you to promise me you’ll be careful about starting any kind of relationship with him.”
So Maddy was afraid Matt would take advantage of her. Margaret understood why her friend might react that way, but deep down, Margaret knew otherwise. She’d seen his surprised look after he’d kissed her. He hadn’t come to seduce her; she would have bet the ranch on that. Nor was she as naive as others, including Matt, assumed. Inexperienced, yes. Naive, no.
They sat and visited for another thirty minutes before the baby cried and Margaret decided it was time to go. Maddy collected the still-sleepy infant and walked Margaret to the door, promising to call in a few days.
As she drove back to the Triple C, Margaret remembered something her father had often told her. If you have a question or a doubt, go straight to the source. She didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of that earlier. If she had any questions about Matt’s kiss or his motives, all she needed to do was ask him.
With renewed purpose, she drove past her own ranch and headed toward his, pulling into the large yard. The Stockerts had been neighbors and friends of her father’s for years, but had moved when beef prices plummeted dramatically. The house had sat vacant until Matt arrived, leasing the property from the retired couple. He’d started out small, which was smart, building his herd each year. The house needed plenty of repairs and a coat of paint. But why should he paint a house that wasn’t his? Matt put everything he earned back into his herd.
Margaret parked the truck, then got out and glanced around. It appeared that Matt wasn’t there. She was about to leave when she saw him walk out of the barn. Once again she was struck by his stunning good looks—stunning at least to her.
Suddenly Margaret felt insecure and self-conscious, and she experienced those emotions as a physical sensation. She didn’t like the uncomfortable feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach.
“Margaret.” He touched the brim of his hat in welcome.
“Matt.” She touched her own.
They stood three feet apart with the cold drifting in around them. She supposed other people would gradually lead into the purpose of a visit, but she was beyond pretense.
“Why did you kiss me?” she asked, surprised by how cool and even her voice remained. The question had plagued her for days, had practically consumed her, yet she’d made it sound as if she was asking about the price of feed.
His eyes met and held hers. Then, looking discomfited, he shrugged. “I can’t rightly say.”
“You plan on doing it again?”
His gaze shifted away from hers. “What makes you ask?”
Wait a minute. She was the one asking the questions here. “Don’t answer my question with one of your own. That’s unfair.”
“There are rules to this conversation?”
“You just did it again,” she cried, exasperated.
At that, Matt burst out laughing.
Despite the seriousness of her concerns, Margaret laughed, too.
“You’re fortunate you caught me. I was out on the range earlier, looking for stray cattle.”
“We’ve had a lot of rain lately.” They both knew what that meant. The wet weather could bring about symptoms of bloat in the calves; they required careful watching.
As it happened, Matt had brought a sick calf into the barn and before long, Margaret was down on her knees, checking him over.
“What do you think?” he asked.
If Margaret knew anything, it was cattle. “I’d get the vet out here if you hope to save him.”
Matt nodded gravely. “I already put in a call to Doc Lenz in Devils Lake, but he said there’s not much he could do that I haven’t already done.”
Talking softly to the sick calf, Margaret stroked his sleek neck. Hardened rancher or not, she hated to see anything suffer. She comforted the calf as it lay dying, tears springing to her eyes.