me as though I were the sexiest woman in the world. The look lifted my spirits. Yes, I was beautiful and sexy and had a hell of a lot to offer.
We continued to dance close, but not too close this time, our hips pumping to the fast beat. At the end of the second song, I leaned forward and patted the man’s arm in a friendly gesture. “Thanks for the dance,” I said.
“You’re gonna leave a brother hanging like that?”
I shrugged apologetically. “I’m married.”
“Married?” He sounded surprised. “Damn, girl.”
“I know,” I said, a hint of self-chastising in my voice. “I guess I got carried away. But, yes, I am a married woman. Out having a little bit of fun.”
“That’s it?” His eyebrows lifted hopefully.
“Yes. That’s it.”
“All right.” The man nodded his understanding. “Lucky man.”
I turned around and saw Marnie, who was standing with two margaritas in hand. She must have gotten them while I’d been dancing.
“Having fun?” she asked, offering me a drink.
“Yes,” I answered honestly. I sipped the new magarita. “And I made a decision about something,” I found myself saying.
“Oh?”
“If I meet someone, I’m gonna go for it.”
“Woo-hoo!” Marnie gave me a high five, and I had to quickly steady my glass so my drink didn’t spill. “Does that mean you like that guy?”
“No. Not him. He’s nice, but…he’s more fun. I want someone who makes me hot with one look.”
One dance, and I was in the mood to get lucky. One dance had reminded me that I was a beautiful woman with a lot to offer. A woman who didn’t deserve to have her husband cheat on her.
Andrew had said I should even the score. Marnie said I should see if there was a better match out there for me.
Well, I would at least even the playing field. If I was ever going to forgive Andrew, I needed to do this.
And satisfy my own curiosity in the process.
I’d been with only one other man before Andrew, and the experience had been horrendous. Chad, my high school boyfriend. I’d been into him, but I wasn’t in love. Partway during some heavy foreplay I told him I didn’t think I could go through with having sex. He ignored me, got rougher, and took my virginity despite my cries to get off me.
My experience with Andrew had been totally different. He hadn’t pressured me the way Chad had. Instead, he’d taken his time and waited until I was truly ready. If, while kissing, he sensed any hesitation on my part, he pulled away. I really loved that about him, and when I gave Andrew my heart and my body after eight months of dating, I knew that it would be forever.
The memory hurt, and I downed my drink. Then eyed the men in the crowd.
With Andrew having been my only positive sexual experience, I’d naturally been curious about what it might be like to be intimate with another man. Curious, but not tempted.
Until now.
Marnie flagged down a passing waitress with a tray of pink- colored shooters. She bought two.
“I don’t know, Marnie.”
“If we get too drunk, we’ll call a cab.” She offered me the shooter.
“Absolutely.” I took the glass, and on the count of three, we both downed the shots.
I don’t even know what the alcohol was, but it had a citrusy tang to it. It warmed my insides, and made my buzz come back with full force.
The sounds of Wyclef Jean filled the club, and my inhibitions gone, I threw my hands in the air and seductively moved my body.
“Girl, you are getting some serious attention,” Marnie informed me. “You should see all the guys checking you out.”
I glanced around coyly, noticed several eyes staring my way. But I didn’t notice anyone who got my libido going, and I was starting to wonder if I would.
“That guy right there,” Marnie said, pointing through the crowd of people to a man that was hard to miss. He was tall, and had muscles all over from what I could tell. He was dark skinned and handsome, but I didn’t feel a spark of attraction as I stole a glance at him.
I shook my head. “No.”
“You are being way too picky.”
“It has to be the right guy,” I said. It wasn’t hard for a woman to find a man to fuck. All she had to do was ask. But I didn’t want to bed just anyone. It had to be a guy who gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach.
I continued dancing, gyrating my hips in a motion meant to seduce. I knew guys were watching me. Their blatant stares made me remember that, at my core, I was a sexy woman.
I made my hip movements even sexier. Thanks to the alcohol, I was feeling good. No pain, as they say.
When the beat picked up with an Usher tune, I gripped my skirt in both hands and shimmied my dress around my legs, showing off tempting amounts of skin. My eyes were closed, my head moving from side to side.
“Damn, girl,” a male voice said, and I opened my eyes. “You’re fittin’ to give a brother a heart attack.”
I smiled graciously at the man I’d danced with earlier. He brazenly licked his bottom lip as I kept dancing.
He leaned in close. “Your husband know you dance like this when he ain’t around?”
I didn’t answer, just shook my hips.
“You look like you want a little something something,” the teddy bear whispered. “I can give you what you need.”
I wondered if my desire for sex was painted on my forehead.
“I’m just here to have fun,” I said, reiterating what I’d told the man earlier. From behind the man, I could see Marnie giving me two thumbs up.
“I can show you fun.” He placed a hand on my waist.
“That’s no way to speak to a married woman,” I teased.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Sophie. Yours?”
“Teddy.”
No way. I started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Just that…I was thinking you kind of look like a teddy bear, and here your name is Teddy.” I shrugged when Teddy didn’t crack a smile. “Maybe it’s not that funny after all.”
I soon realized why he hadn’t smiled. Because he was seriously checking me out. The look Teddy gave me was smoldering. It traveled over my face, paused on my lips, then went lower, to my breasts. It screamed “I want to fuck you.”
“You never step out on your man?” Teddy asked.
I smiled sweetly, hoping he’d take my rejection well. I was starting to get a tad worried, wondering if this guy wasn’t the type who liked to hear no. “Like I said, I’m just here to dance and have a little fun.”
“All right.” Teddy shrugged, and I was relieved. Knowing he’d lost the fight, he wandered away.
As he disappeared into the crowd, I asked myself what was wrong with him? He was cute, had a nice body. Most women wouldn’t kick him out of bed in the morning. So why was I rejecting him?
Maybe I was deluding myself. Perhaps I was all talk in terms of thinking I could have an affair, when in reality I wouldn’t be able to go through with it.
Marnie