‘No man should see the things I saw.’
I couldn’t help but giggle again at his obvious discomfort. Giving birth was a natural process, but apparently Knox and his poor eyeballs felt differently. ‘Did something…happen?’
Knox swallowed heavily. ‘I just…the things I saw…I can’t unsee that.’ He made a face.
I gave his chest a playful shove. ‘I think you’ll live. Poor Amanda is the one who had to go through it all. Did she get pain medication?’
He nodded. ‘Yeah. She made it a good long while without any and then it got too bad. I called the nurse, and they put something in her back that made the pain go away.’
I smiled. Knox had proven he was a good friend and a good brother. But what I really wanted to know was if he could be a good boyfriend.
‘Thanks for staying with Tucker and the guys. Everyone good?’
I nodded. ‘All is fine. They were fun.’ I almost told him about Jaxon taking me for twenty bucks in poker last night and immediately decided against it. I knew things were already somewhat shaky between the two of them, and didn’t want to pile on any additional stress. ‘I came straight here last night because I wanted to talk.’
Knox nodded, bringing a big, warm palm to my jawline and stroking my cheek. ‘I know. We do need to talk, but I’m exhausted. I was up most of the night and the little sleep I did get was in a folding chair.’ His rough thumb continued its path, softly rubbing my cheek. ‘Can I take a rain check?’
‘Of course. I guess I’ll go home. Unpack. Shower. Water my sure-to-be-dead plants.’
‘Okay. Thanks again for last night. I’ll call you later.’
All the excitement I’d experienced when I pulled up to Knox’s house last night had vanished. I still needed answers, but for now it seemed, they would have to wait.
Knox
McKenna surprising me last night should have been a good thing. But it was more than just the situation with Amanda that was giving me pause and had me asking for a time-out today. I knew the conversation we needed to have—about McKenna’s painful past and my own drunk-driving arrest. But every scenario I played out in my mind ended with her in tears and my heart broken. I just wasn’t ready to go there yet. I needed her. My brothers needed her. She’d only just showed back up in our lives and I didn’t want to lose her.
After greeting the guys and checking on the house, I fell into bed, drifting off to a deep sleep almost immediately. When I woke several hours later, I felt groggy and disoriented. Checking the time on my phone, I realized it was late afternoon and reluctantly crawled from bed. After a much-needed shower, I felt more alert and ventured downstairs.
Jaxon was sitting on the couch with a brand new laptop balanced across his knees.
‘Where’d you get that?’ I asked.
He looked up from the screen at me. ‘I won some money at a hand of cards.’
I frowned. ‘I told you I don’t want you gambling.’ Jaxon had enough bad habits without adding another to the mix.
‘Relax, man. I had a good hand and I bet appropriately. It’s not a big deal. And besides, I got it for Luke. I thought he could take it to college with him next year. He’s gonna need a computer.’
I couldn’t argue with that. Jaxon’s intentions were in the right place. ‘Fine. But I’m serious about the gambling.’ I headed toward the kitchen before halting mid-stride to face him again. ‘And don’t be looking up porn on that thing. I don’t want Tucker stumbling across your search history.’
Jaxon chuckled. ‘That’s the entire reason I shelled out six hundred bucks for this, dude.’
I shot him an angry scowl.
He laughed again, closing the laptop and setting it aside. ‘I’m kidding. If I want pussy, I have three dozen contacts in my phone. All I have to do is text one of them. I’m sure you know how that works.’
My blood pressure shot up. The little shit was right. Which made me realize I should probably delete all those numbers. I didn’t want McKenna finding them and getting the wrong idea. Or worse, I didn’t want to chance succumbing to temptation if this thing between me and McKenna didn’t work out.
‘Where are the guys?’ I growled.
‘At the park,’ Jaxon said. ‘And speaking of pussy…I’m going out.’ He grinned.
I rolled my eyes. Perhaps he was a lost cause. The sooner he was out on his own, the better. He would have to make his own mistakes and learn his own lessons, just as I had.
I made myself something to eat and sat alone at the kitchen table. The house was picked up and more organized, and I wondered if that had been McKenna’s touch last night. There was no denying our house felt like more of a home because of her—her light, feminine scent that hung in the air long after she was gone, the sense of calm she instilled in me and the boys, the home-cooked meals she occasionally spoiled us with. God, I’d missed her.
As I ate, my mind wandered to McKenna. She’d been a vision standing in the doorway of my bedroom last night, her skin flushed and her heartbeat racing in her neck. I couldn’t even imagine what she thought was going on inside my room. Finding Amanda in labor was probably the last thing she expected.
Anticipation coursed through me at the thought of seeing McKenna tonight. She had said there were some things she needed to tell me. Which meant I needed to delay pulling the skeletons out of my closet. That would have to wait. Tonight was about her.
As I cleaned up after my meal, my mind went to the events at the hospital last night. I shuddered remembering Amanda’s guttural cries when she pushed the baby out, along with a rush of fluid and blood. I didn’t care what anyone said; there was nothing natural about that process. It made me want to kick the ass of whoever put Amanda in that position and left her to deal with the consequences alone. He was a coward, whoever he was. Watching her hold her baby girl and sob just as hard as the tiny thing in her arms was a harrowing experience, and one I’d probably never forget. The baby was born prematurely, and though nothing major appeared wrong, she’d be under close watch for some time to come. I imagined both McKenna and I would be back at the hospital to visit both of them soon.
But right now, it was about me and McKenna.
When I picked up McKenna an hour later, she jogged down the stairs before I had the chance to go up and get her. Exiting the Jeep, I crossed around the front and met her beside the passenger door. She stood silently waiting for me to open it. But I wasn’t in any sort of rush.
Taking her face in my hands, I brought her lips to mine. ‘God, I missed you.’ I held her close, drinking in her breath, the warmth I felt just having her near. ‘When you left, I thought…’
‘What?’ she murmured, her mouth brushing against mine.
‘That I’d lost you. I thought you were choosing Brian and a normal life back home over me and all my mountains of baggage.’
Her eyebrows pinched together. ‘How could you think that?’
Moving my hands from her jaw to her waist, I tucked my thumbs into the back of her jeans and stroked the smooth skin of her lower back. ‘That morning you left…I shouldn’t have let you go like that.’
McKenna’s mouth lifted in a smile just before my lips claimed hers. Not needing any more prompting, she pressed her lips to mine, running her tongue along my bottom lip until my lips parted and her tongue swept inside, gently stroking mine. What began as a sweet hello kiss turned into something much more desperate. She felt it. I felt it. This time apart hadn’t been easy on either