one-bazillionth of the time it would have taken me), and was kicked back, leaning against my new cabinet, a margarita loose in his hand.
Technically we still barely knew each other. But we’d spent the last hour chatting in close quarters, and there was something about him that made me feel as though we were old friends. It was a nice feeling; one I hadn’t experienced with a guy since high school, actually. And I told him the ins and outs of my job. “I know I have a good deal, so I hate to gripe. I mean, my checking account is nice and full. But my ideas? They’re starting to dwindle. It’s like I’m losing touch with some spark of creativity.”
I took in a breath and let it out slowly. “It’s scary. But being jobless is scarier still. Especially if you were raised in a family like mine where the mighty paycheck is king, the power job is emperor and social prestige is God himself.”
He watched me intently while I told all of this. Not in a way that made me uncomfortable, but as if everything I had to say was important. And when I finished, he was nodding a little. “I know exactly what you’re going through,” he said. “It took all my courage to quit my day job and start freelancing. Hardest thing I’ve done in my life.”
“But it’s paid off for you,” I said. “Right?”
“Absolutely.” He’d told me earlier a bit about what he does—designing computer games and writing the script for them and everything—and he’d become less geeky in my eyes. I mean, writing scripts was what I wanted to do.
“So do you think I’m being a coward?” I asked. At the same time, I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted an answer. I realized that I valued his opinion. If he did think I was foolish for sticking it out with John, what would that mean? Because I didn’t think I had the courage to chuck it with John Layman Productions. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But at the same time, the thought of Mike thinking I was acting like an idiot bothered me a lot more than I’d expected. Or, honestly, wanted to admit.
Lucky for me, he didn’t criticize. Instead, he just said that everyone has a different path to get where they want to be. “So long as you can see the path—and so long as you don’t let that creative spark die—then you’re on track. But at the same time, you have to keep your eyes open for places where the path veers. Otherwise, you could end up missing the exit that leads to the job you really want.”
“Love the highway analogy,” I said, teasing. But I was happy he hadn’t called me a fool. I kept my thoughts to myself, though, because I was calling myself an idiot and a fool and a coward. I’d stopped seeing the path long ago, and had been working simply for a paycheck for years. That burning desire to sell a screenplay was still burning in my gut, but it was as if I was stymied in how to go about it. Burning out from the inside. The idea terrified me, and yet I didn’t know how to turn the situation around.
I didn’t tell Mike that, though, for fear he’d think less of me. And for reasons I didn’t want to analyze, I really wanted him to see me in a good light.
So I did what I always do when I want to avoid an issue—I changed the subject.
“Well,” I said, standing up, “you’ve earned your margarita by assembling the thing, but if you want to earn a meal to go with it, you’re going to have to put some muscle into it.”
“Yeah?” he said, grinning at the challenge in my voice.
“Doesn’t do me much good in the middle of my living room,” I said. “And I’m too weak and fragile a female to move it all by myself.”
That earned me a guffaw, and I liked him even more.
“Okay,” I admitted. “Not weak and fragile, but slightly tipsy and definitely lazy. Does the code of chivalry require that knights come to the aid of drunken maidens?”
“Absolutely,” he said. “So long as the knight is equally drunk.”
“I guess you qualify, then.”
He downed the last few ounces of his margarita, his eyes never leaving mine. “Yes, ma’am. I guess I do.”
“Right.” I cleared my throat, fighting the warm fuzzy feeling growing in my tummy, and trying to convince myself it was alcohol induced and not related to the man. He was, I reminded myself, perfectly good friend material. But for a slot on my boyfriend list? Nope. Not a possibility. Mike was far too Dex-like, and that was a well I didn’t intend to drink from again.
“So,” I continued. “Um, how about moving it over there?” I pointed toward my very cluttered desk and the space on my floor now occupied with scraps of paper related to various John Layman Productions. And, of course, a dozen fan magazines. Won’t do for a Layman exec not to know all about the up-and-coming celebs.
While Mike got a grip on the cabinet, I scurried over and shoved all that detritus out of the way. He hoisted the thing himself, turning down my request to give him a hand, then worked it across the room.
“Wow,” I said, once it was in place. “You’re a handy guy to have around.”
“Lucky for you I live right across the hall,” he said.
“Yeah,” I said, feeling warm all over. “Very lucky.”
Our eyes met, and it was one of those moments you read about in romance novels. Unfortunately, I didn’t want that kind of moment because he was friend—not fling—material. So I cleared my throat and looked away, and then he did the same, and suddenly we were out of romance novel land and into the world of awkward reality.
Gee, what an improvement. Not.
When he’d turned from me, he’d ended up facing my desktop, and now he pointed at a stack of papers. “What’s this?”
I peered toward him and saw the pile of Cullen’s mail. Immediately, I blushed. Stupid, because Mike couldn’t know (at least not for sure) that I thought he was cute or was fighting warm fuzzies in my tummy. And he also couldn’t know that I thought Cullen was hot, and I was currently concocting a plan for nailing him.
But stupid or not, I blushed, and then I stammered as I covered, explaining that I was bringing in the mail for our neighbor who was off in Aruba at the moment.
“Right,” Mike said, nodding thoughtfully. “The guy who lives there.” He pointed to my western wall. “He’s some sort of model?”
I nodded and shrugged at the same time, trying to convey careless indifference. I also tried not to look at Mike, but I didn’t do a very good job. I don’t know why I suddenly felt so ridiculous—as if the idea of trying to hook up with Cullen was the goofiest idea ever conceived on the planet—but I did. And I felt all the more embarrassed because Mike was there to see me wallow in my own idiocy.
Honestly, the man was wreaking havoc with my emotions. And my confidence. And my self-control.
If he was going to be my friend—and I really did want him to be—I was going to have to learn to pull myself together. At the very least, I was going to have to avoid alcohol around him. I mean, surely it was the margaritas making me so stupid. What else could it be?
I realized he was looking at me, his expression thoughtful, as if I were a puzzle he’d just solved. I wasn’t sure I liked that, so I got up and started moving around, wishing I could take back the last few minutes. He got up, too, and I had the odd feeling that he wanted to rewind, as well.
I started gathering all the various tools and bits of trash left over from the assembly project, and after a few seconds Mike bent down to help me. “You keep feeding me margaritas,” he said. “I feel like I should do something in return.”
I gestured at the file cabinet. “Um, I think you did.”
“You’re right,” he said dryly. “You still owe me big-time.”
I laughed. “True enough. How can I pay up?” The second I said the words, I regretted them. There’d been something buzzing in the air between us earlier, but I really wanted to ignore that.