is nice,’ said Liam, having a good gawp around the room.
‘Thanks,’ said Anna. She wanted to pick the box up and thrust it at him but she wouldn’t be so rude.
‘So,’ said Liam, rubbing his hand across his chin. ‘Have you been okay?’
‘Yes, terrific, thanks.’ She said it too enthusiastically and Liam looked a little taken aback. Or was that hurt?
‘Oh, that’s good.’ He pursed his lips. Liam wasn’t paying attention; he was still inspecting the room and it annoyed her.
She wondered why he wasn’t just taking the box and leaving. He sat down on the sofa. Her sofa. Anna folded her arms. ‘Did you want a coffee or something?’ she asked out of politeness, which irritated her further. She was so British.
He smiled and she wondered why. ‘A coffee would be great – or something stronger. Have you still got the bottle of Châteauneuf you took?’
Anna knew her annoyance was disproportionate but really – how rude was Liam to walk in and think he could dictate to her in her new home! ‘No, I gave it to Dad. I’ll get you a coffee.’
Anna was standing next to the kettle and boiled inside as the plumes of steam escaped around her. She only put one sugar in his coffee when she knew he liked two – it was a silly thing but it made her feel a little better, until he tasted it and asked for more. Then she really could have screamed at him.
Finally, they were sitting next to each other – well, on separate ends of the sofa, which showed how much things had changed, and how uncomfortable they both now felt. Anna looked at Liam in a similar way as she had the ring box. He had once held so much promise too. Everybody liked Liam with his boyish good looks and confident air. Her mum had been particularly fond of him. Who could have known that proposing was going to be the trigger to make him question their whole future?
‘I wanted to talk to you about how we decide who gets which of our friends.’ This was all he said that started it off. Such a simple sentence, and yet two hours later they would still be locked in a head-to-head battle …
Anna looked up. ‘I’ll give you Tom and Alice for Darnell and Shanice.’
Liam shook his head. ‘Tom was my friend from uni and you never really liked Alice, so that’s not giving me anything. How about Matthew and Matt for Darnell and Shanice?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. No way! The two Matthews are worth ten Darnell and Shanices. And you hate it when Matt beats you at Ping-Pong – you get all stroppy,’ said Anna, knocking back another gulp of coffee. It had taken a lot of caffeine to get through this evening and she knew she’d have even less chance of sleeping tonight now.
‘It’s called table tennis. Only children call it Ping-Pong.’
She liked it when he got all picky because it made her loathe him a little bit more, which made things easier. ‘The two Matts are non-negotiable.’ They had been totally brilliant since the split and were definitely in her camp. Camp being the operative word.
He sighed deeply and crossed them off his list. ‘Any other non-negotiables we should get out of the way?’
Anna scanned her list quickly. ‘Stacey and Paulo?’ She bit her lip because they were the coolest couple they knew, and she knew Liam would want them. They had the best jobs, the jet-set lifestyle and the most amazing dinner parties. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t want to lose them as friends but as the antidote to her small simple life they were an addiction she wasn’t ready to kick.
He shook his head and gave her a pitying smile. ‘Yeah, okay. Tabitha isn’t keen on them anyway.’ As soon as the words were out Liam looked like someone had stuck a pin in his genitals, which was something Anna would have relished doing at that precise moment.
Before she could stop herself, she’d already asked the obvious question. ‘Who’s Tabitha?’
Liam rubbed his chin again. ‘She’s just someone I’ve started seeing.’
Anna felt her stomach drop and started to bob her head far more vigorously than was necessary. ‘Right. Good. That’s good. I’m pleased for you.’ No, she wasn’t. She was wrong-footed, vexed and, above all else, hurt.
An hour later they had been reduced to pulling the final few names out of a mixing bowl. There had been no other way when they had reached a stalemate. Who knew dividing up eleven couples could be so hard?
‘Yes! Charles and Lydia,’ whooped Liam, as he opened his piece of paper.
‘Crap,’ said Anna with feeling. She loved Lydia, so maybe she could find a way to see her on the sly. Getting up off the sofa, Anna held her head high. ‘Now bugger off out of my life … Please.’
She glanced at the list of rules they’d created. Despite it being a difficult moment, Anna smiled to herself, thinking: ‘This is what happens when you get two change professionals together.’ Liam stood up and pulled his box of stuff up into his arms. ‘You have to be proactive with those on your list and contact them. No need to tell them about the segregation,’ he said, letting himself out.
‘Shit weasel,’ said Anna, and she had another large mouthful of cold coffee.
Walking into the office, Anna thought about how Liam had annoyed her on two levels the previous evening: one with the whole dividing up their friends, and secondly by the mention of Tabitha. Not the mention of her alone but the fact he had moved on so effortlessly. Anna was a long way from moving on – she was still at the licking her wounds stage, which was why she was sworn off men for the time being. Perhaps men were designed differently? Maybe they were meant to switch to the next available female. It didn’t seem right that she had been so easily replaced. She hoped that said more about him than it did about her or their relationship, but she wasn’t sure. When Liam had dumped her she’d thought her world was caving in but she’d quickly realised her relationship with him had been much like Gruyère cheese – harder than it needed to be and full of holes.
It worried her that she’d not noticed how Gruyère he was before this point. What she needed was something more reliable. Cheddar, perhaps? She wanted something a bit more exciting than Cheddar. Cheshire? Too flaky. Maybe she’d hold out for a nice Brie: soft on the inside with a touch of decadence. But Brie could be smelly and a little crusty. She’d got it! White Stilton with apricots: simple but interesting with an edge of sophistication, which always felt special. How had she got on to cheese? All she’d done was make herself hungry.
When she was a little girl she remembered telling everyone she was going to marry her daddy. Her mother had had to sit her down and explain it really wasn’t an option and she had been quite upset at the time. Her very first life plan had been blown out of the water with one easy strike. She knew she had her parents up on a pedestal; their relationship wasn’t perfect but it was one born out of total love and care for each other and had stood strong for almost thirty years. Perhaps she was searching for a man to love her the way her father adored her mother – but was that so wrong?
Anna knew she had partly ignored the niggles in her relationship with Liam because, at twenty-eight, she was worried about veering off her life plan. But now they’d split up, she was totally off plan and way out of her comfort zone. She hadn’t only lost Liam; she’d lost her wedding day and her beautifully mapped-out future too.
Anna had always been conscientious and focused in every job she’d had since university; she was keen to establish her career before she started a family. She had always expected to have been married with children and well settled by the time she was thirty, based on the fact her parents had married quite young and she’d been born within the year. Her sister had followed shortly afterwards.
Anna’s thoughts were miles away as she pulled her security pass from the side pocket of her bag. It caught on the zip and she stopped to try to free it. Someone appeared, as if from nowhere, at her side.
‘Hi, can I get in this way?’
‘Ooh, you made me