mine. His name is Brownie. Someday I’m going to have a horse like him.”
Philip took the toy and examined it. “He looks good and sturdy. I think you have yourself a keeper there.”
“While you men study the livestock, I’m going to butter this bread and get our supper on the table.”
Bella continued to listen to Philip and the boys as she set the table for dinner. Cara had told her earlier that she wouldn’t be back in time to eat, but for her and the boys to go ahead. It felt odd working in another woman’s kitchen as Philip and the boys talked about horses, the Pony Express and the mama cat. She smiled at the way the boys responded to Philip. Caleb asked questions about the Pony Express and Mark talked about the mama cat and kittens.
She made sure to set a plate on the back of the stove for Cara and then called, “Time to eat, boys.”
Philip pushed up from the couch. “Come on, boys, I’ll show you where we men wash up.”
“Do we need our coats again?” Caleb asked.
“Nope, we won’t be outside. Cara talked John into making her a small pantry off the kitchen, where she made a place for him to wash up.” He was already walking past Bella and into the pantry.
Bella smiled as the sound of the boys’ laughter and chatter filled the small space.
“When I grow up, I want to fish, ride horses and hunt,” Mark said.
Getting to know her nephews was a joy. Bella had the sense that Mark was more outdoorsy and that Caleb enjoyed being inside.
“Maybe someday you can work on my brother Thomas’s ranch,” Philip said, leading the boys back to the table, where they all sat down.
Bella frowned. That would never happen if Philip wasn’t going to marry her. It wouldn’t do for Philip to fill the boys’ hearts with dreams that weren’t going to come true. After the boys were in bed, she’d talk to him.
“Aunt Bella, are you sick?” Mark studied her face.
She smiled. “No, sweetie. Why?”
“You aren’t talking.” He laid his spoon to the side.
“I’m tired, not sick.”
Mark frowned. “Oh. All right.” He picked up his spoon and tasted the stew. A big smile pulled at his mouth. “This is good.”
Bella laughed. “I’m glad you like it. Now eat up and then we’re going to get ready for bed. It’s been a long day.”
Both boys did as she said. They tucked into their supper as if it was their last meal.
She sighed. If Philip wasn’t going to marry her, then how was she ever going to take care of the kids? Maybe she could see if Dove Creek needed a baker. But the short supply of money that she had wouldn’t be enough to rent them a place to live. Worry ate at her insides like a gopher gnawing at the roots of a tree. What was she going to do?
An hour later, Bella cleaned the kitchen. She’d put the boys down on a pallet beside the fireplace. Their soft snores filled the kitchen and sitting room. Philip sat at the table nursing a cup of coffee.
Drying the last dish, Bella eased into the chair across from him. “Thank you for being so patient with the boys today.”
He nodded. “It was my pleasure.”
Bella traced the wood pattern on the table with her finger. How did she bring up the subject of him not promising the boys things that he couldn’t give them? She didn’t want to offend him, but she also didn’t want his empty promises hurting her nephews.
“Ma always says ‘The best way to say something, is just to say it.’” Philip set the cup on the table and waited.
Had he read her mind? “Your mother says that?”
“Yes. She’s my adoptive mother. She took me in when I was twelve years old,” Philip answered. His gaze moved to the sleeping boys.
“Oh, all right. Philip, I like that you have made friends with the boys, and to be honest, they have been happier today than I’ve seen them in a long time.” Bella stopped, once more wondering how to say what she felt needed to be said.
“But...?”
She sighed. “But please don’t make promises you have no intention of keeping.”
He frowned. “Like what?”
Bella met his gaze. “Like telling Mark that someday he could work on your brother’s ranch. I’ve no idea where we’ll be living.”
“I see.” Philip walked to the stove and refilled his cup. “What if I said I’ve been thinking about that?”
Did she dare hope he’d changed his mind about marrying her? Before her thoughts and worry overtook her, Bella asked, “Thinking about what?”
Philip returned, turned his chair around and sat down. He rested his arms against the wood. “Those boys need a father figure.” He studied her face.
She couldn’t argue with that, so Bella nodded. What was he saying? That he wanted to fill that position? And if so, what did that mean for her? The questions whirled in her mind like a Texas twister, but she held them inside, waiting for him to explain further.
He pressed on. “Seems to me that they’ve taken a cotton to me.” Philip ran a hand through his hair. And looked at her, waiting.
Bella thought she knew where he was going with this conversation but wanted him to be the one to get there. She stared back at him.
He cleared his throat. “Um, I grew up an orphan.”
She knew that. He’d mentioned it earlier. Bella continued to wait.
“And, well, I don’t want to see those boys in an orphanage like I was.” He paused again. “If you still want to get married, I’ll adopt the boys as my own.”
Bella wanted clarification. “You want to marry me?”
He sighed heavily and then answered. “Not really. But to keep those boys out of an orphanage, I’ll do it.”
So for the sake of the boys they were both willing to marry strangers. She sighed, too. “We are a pair, aren’t we?”
Philip nodded. “I’m not the marrying kind.”
“What does that mean?” Bella asked.
“My real mother died trying to give birth to my younger brother, who died with her. Then my pa simply gave up on life and grieved himself to death. When I was younger, I vowed not to marry or fall in love.” He took a sip of the warm coffee. “I don’t want to be married in the real sense of the word. I’m pretty sure my adoptive brother Thomas is the one who placed the advertisement that got you here. If it was up to me, I’d never marry, but since it’s my brother’s fault you are here, I will marry you and adopt the boys.”
Bella’s heart ached for the little boy whose parents both died, leaving him alone in the world at such a young age. It was obvious by the look on his face that Philip still hurt from his loss. She laid her hands on top of his folded arms. “I don’t want to get married, either, but for the sake of my nephews I made the decision to do just that.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Why don’t you want to marry?”
She pulled her hands from his arms and tucked them into her lap. Swallowing the hurt that welled up in her, Bella said, “Up until a month ago, I was engaged. Then when my fiancé found out the boys came with me, he broke off the engagement. I don’t want to get married or fall in love because I don’t trust anyone but myself and God now. Men leave at the least bit of trouble.” She turned her head so