And I resent that she will never get the chance to see her children grow up or hold her grandbabies in her arms.” He took a deep breath. “And I especially resent that those kids are stuck with me rather than the parents they should have had.”
There was a soft sympathy in her gaze now and it made him shift uncomfortably.
He’d said way too much.
Janell was surprised by Mr. Chandler’s bitter outburst. He’d always seemed so unruffled by his circumstances. It was an eye-opener to realize he did indeed have deeper, more passionate feelings. “I’m so sorry for all you’ve gone through,” she said, touching his arm briefly. “That’s a terrible loss for anyone to bear. And I have no doubt that you truly care for your niece and nephew.”
She meant what she’d said, but he needed to understand the impact on the children. “The problem is, that’s not what Chloe and Alex are seeing.”
His jaw tightened. “I shouldn’t have said all that. And I don’t see how it’ll serve any good purpose for me to let the kids know how I feel. I need to be strong for them.”
His earnestness was touching. “You misunderstand. Of course you don’t want to display anger or bitterness.”
She saw him stiffen at that. Perhaps she should have been more tactful. “On the other hand,” she continued quickly, “I think it would be good for them to see how deeply you mourn the loss of your sister and brother-in-law. And even more importantly, you should let them see that you love them and are prepared to take on the role of parent.”
“I can’t take the place of their parents.” There was a suspicious gruffness in his voice, but he’d turned to put away a bowl so she couldn’t see his face.
“You’re correct. No one can replace their parents.”
The look he shot her was one of surprise.
“At least not in the sense you mean,” she said to clarify. “But you can be a parent figure, someone to care about them, raise them, guide them, just as a loving parent would. Surely you know that to children, especially young children, parents are the most important people in their lives. Parents are the foundation that grounds them and gives them the confidence to try new things, knowing there is a safe haven to return to.”
He turned to face her and she could tell he wasn’t entirely convinced. “I’m sorry if I keep coming back to this, but it’s very important that Alex and Chloe feel both welcomed and loved here.”
“Miss Whitman, I am not a demonstrative man. If it’s hugs and kisses you’re referring to—”
She made a dismissive motion with her hand. “There are other ways of showing love. And like it or not, you have no choice. You can’t just say the words—you must show it in your actions as well.” She tried to lighten her tone. “But I’m sure you’ll work that part out in your own way.”
His lips pinched in a thin, rebellious line. “I appreciate your suggestions. But this doesn’t address how to help Chloe.”
His words had a hard edge to them. It was what she’d meant about how he talked to the children. But he obviously wasn’t open to discussing that right now.
“For instance,” he continued, “is writing on a slate how you communicated with your sister?”
She nodded as she placed another plate in the wash water. “We did at first, but as I said, it’s a clumsy method at best. My father was determined to do all he could to help Lizzie, though, so we called on the best doctors and teachers who worked with the deaf. With their help we eventually found better ways to communicate.”
He raised a brow. “Such as?”
“Teaching her to read lips. And the use of sign language.”
He paused a moment. “Sign language—I thought that was a tool for the mute.”
“The mute learn to sign in order to communicate what they have to say. But it only works if those around them can read the language. For the deaf it’s just the opposite. Those around them must learn to sign and the affected person must learn to understand the signs.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense.”
“Which means, of course, that this is going to be a significant amount of work for all three of you. All of you must learn to sign. If you’re not committed to putting in the time to do this properly, then it will never work.”
He took the clean plate from her. “I understand.”
“Of course, it also means Chloe must want to learn.”
His brow creased. “Why wouldn’t she? After all, she’s the one with the most to gain. It will allow her to communicate with the people around her again.”
She was glad he understood the ramifications. “Yes, but if she’s like my sister, she’s going to be afraid of what will happen if she fails. And it reinforces the fact that she will always be different from everyone else around her.”
“But surely, on some level at least, she already knows this.”
“Of course, but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to admit it. I didn’t say these were reasonable feelings, just that it’s likely that she’ll be resistant and that that resistance will be based in fear. We need to help her get beyond all of that so she actually wants to learn.”
“How?”
“By forcing her to communicate that way and not give her other options. It sounds harsh, but once she has a few successes under her belt it will get easier—for all of us.”
He rubbed his chin. “Even if we succeed, that means she’ll only be able to communicate with us. And you, of course.”
“True, but only at first. As she makes friends, they’ll want to learn to sign as well. Her circle will slowly grow.” She gave him a direct look. “But you’re right—it will never include everyone, and it won’t ever be like it was before.”
He grimaced. “Cheery thought.”
“It’s important that you understand the reality so you can help Chloe face it.” She tried for an encouraging smile. “The next step, however, will help her widen her circle.”
“And that next step is?”
“Lipreading. Once she masters that skill it will open many more doors for her.” From all accounts her sister had become quite adept at it. It was good to know Lizzie was adapting so well.
“And this is something she can learn?”
“Not everyone does, I’m afraid, but Lizzie did.” It still pained Janell that she hadn’t been there to witness and celebrate her triumphs. “If we can get Chloe to learn to read sign language, and gain some skill in lipreading, it will open the world back up for her. Right now she’s feeling like she won’t ever fit in again. The sooner we equip her with these skills, the sooner we can make her see that her future isn’t as bleak as it seems to her right now.”
He gave her a skeptical look. “But, to be realistic, she will always be different.”
Janell nodded. “Of course. But our job is to make her see that different doesn’t mean unlovable. She has to see she can lead a very fulfilling life even though she will always be deaf.” She gave him a searching look. “And that means you need to believe it yourself and then make sure she sees that you do.” She raised a brow. “Can you do that?”
He nodded, then changed the subject. “So tell me a little bit about signing.”
Janell dried her hands on a clean rag. “There are two different skills involved. First we’ll work on the alphabet.” She held her hand up and began to form the shapes.