Compassion comes from pain. And while they’ve all had their ups and downs, not one of them has ever gone through hell and come out the other side, stronger for the experience.”
He wanted to tell her he’d been through hell plenty of times, but he hadn’t. She was right about having it easy. People had always seemed to want him to succeed. And for most of his life, that had been enough. More than enough. “I’m guilty of everything you said. I can see how you’d assume I wouldn’t be enough for you.”
She blinked at him and he was beginning to know that look. She was thinking about what he’d said, thinking deeply. “I’m not foolish enough to pretend that the lens I’ve looked through isn’t muddy. I’m no paragon, myself. I spent years and years living with jealousy and bitterness. It was hard being the ugly one.”
“You’re not—”
She stopped him. “We’re being honest here, remember?”
“Okay. I swear. I’m being honest. You don’t look like the rest of your family. But you’re not ugly.”
“Paul.”
“Hey. I don’t want to get sidetracked here, but dammit, I’m not lying to you. I’m the first to admit I’m shallow as hell, but even I can see how lovely your eyes are. How when you smile, your whole face lights up. I find you…arresting. But let’s get back to me while I’m still brave enough to ask. Do you believe I’m destined to be this shallow forever? Can you even consider that there might be more to me than you think there is?”
She didn’t answer, only this time, he didn’t see her telltale blinks. He felt a hopelessness that filled him with dread. This was ridiculous. He tried to get up, but her hand caught his and she held him steady.
“I think you can be anything you set your mind to.”
He looked at her again, trying to see beyond the words. Her eyes glistened, and her mouth quivered just a bit. This was new. Gwen wasn’t sentimental and she wasn’t shy about telling it like it was, which left him…
Confused.
“You’re not shallow,” she said. “I’m the one who misjudged. I never expected—”
He shook his head. “You think you’re surprised.”
He got a smile for that.
“So you think there’s a chance. That we could be friends, I mean.”
“There’s a chance.”
He sat back on the couch, slouching awkwardly but not wanting to move away from her. “I don’t have an act two, you know. No clue what to do next.”
“Have you considered writing about it?”
“Me? God no.”
Her laughter changed the air. “No writing, then. How about just doing what you’re doing?”
“And what would that be, exactly?”
“Reading articles that have no opinion on Britney Spears. Coming to trivia night. I do believe there might be a space for you on our softball team, if you can find the time.”
He squeezed her hand. “So that’s a no about the book club, right?”
“Tell you what. I’ll get you a copy of the book we’re reading this month. After you’ve finished it, you let me know if you’re interested in joining us.”
“Is it about Britney Spears?” he asked.
“Amusing,” she said archly. “Seriously. That was amusing.”
“Yeah, yeah. But really. Is it fiction?”
“It is,” she said.
“Is it thick?”
“Very.”
He sighed. “Bring it on. I can’t promise anything, but what the hell.”
“No expectations. Some of my closest friends don’t share my taste in books.”
He narrowed his eyes, letting her know this was important. “Are you into Japanese horror?”
“God, yes. I loved Ju-on. Hated the American version.”
That made him sit up straight. “Yes. American directors don’t know what the hell they’re doing when it comes to that moody stuff. And I don’t consider torture porn to be horror.”
She lifted her hand for a high five, which he obliged, but it made him laugh.
“What?”
“Nothing. You just keep on surprising me is all.”
“Sweetie, I don’t hold a candle to you in the surprise department. You pretty much took my breath away tonight.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded as she stood, pulling him up with her. “Yes. It’s late. And I have to be bright and perky tomorrow morning.”
“Interviewing some new hot scientist?”
“Yup.” She led him to the front door. “He’s got mad physics skills.”
“But can he kick your ass at baseball trivia?”
“That’s the first question of the interview.”
He laughed.
“Thank you,” she said.
“For what?”
“Doesn’t matter. Just…” She stepped up to him to kiss his cheek.
He took hold of her shoulders and turned. Her lips met his. Just like back in that hotel. Only, he wasn’t drunk or hungover.
She pulled away, but only for a second. When she kissed him back, it was the real deal, even if he didn’t understand why.
Pushing aside all the questions and doubts, he decided to enjoy the moment. The softness of her lips. The way she gasped when he tasted her tongue.
The night had been filled with wonders, but this one topped them all.
He wanted Gwen. Not just to be his friend, but to…Oh, shit.
IN A DAZE Gwen wandered through the living room, picking up the mugs on the coffee table. Tonight had shocked her in so many ways, it was hard to know where to begin. No, that was a lie. The kiss had taken over her brain. The kiss had evidently startled him as much as it had her. When she’d pulled back, his eyes had been wide-open, staring at her.
For God’s sake, she’d kissed him back. With enthusiasm. It had felt amazing and sexy and his hands on her shoulders had made her shiver right to her toes. In fact, she wouldn’t have objected if the kiss had gone on a lot longer.
She found herself in the kitchen, several feet away from the sink. She didn’t remember walking in there. Setting her mind to it, she put the mugs in the dishwasher, turned off the lights and headed for her bedroom.
Still in something of a trance, she got ready for bed, rehashing things he’d said to her tonight. His determination to be in her life was as troubling as it was flattering. It had all been much simpler when he’d been handsome but dumb.
There were a number of things that attracted her to a man, and one main ingredient was depth. She’d had enough of shallow in her early years. Now she looked for kindness, intelligence, humor and compassion. She’d noticed Paul’s kindness at the dance, and even his humor, but she’d written him off on the other musthaves. It had never occurred to her that he could be intelligent, despite his degree and his business acumen. Perhaps if he hadn’t been seeing Autumn—
Autumn. Did she know what Paul was up to? That didn’t seem likely. Autumn would find this whole business unbelievable and distasteful. Not that Gwen gave a particular damn, but it just brought home the utter weirdness of the situation. Paul