with Theo made it so much worse.
‘I intend to be involved in my son’s life whether you like the idea or not. I may be at fault for not believing you were carrying my child but there is nothing I can do about that now except explain my reasons and apologise. However, if you deny me access then I warn you that I shall fight you, Emily.’
Emily felt a rush of panic assail her. She hadn’t meant to stir up such a reaction but it seemed she had. She bit her lip, hating the feeling that she’d been backed into a corner. She needed time to think, time to work out how she felt. Learning that Ben had had cancer was a huge shock and she knew that it had made a difference. She needed to get that straight in her head before she did anything else.
‘Look, this is all getting out of hand,’ she began then stopped when Theo appeared, carrying his empty cereal bowl.
‘Finished, Mummy,’ he said, handing it to her before looking curiously at the man standing on the step.
Emily felt her heart catch when once again she was made aware of the resemblance between them. With his black curls, olive skin and huge dark eyes, Theo was the image of his father. Ben obviously realised it too because an expression of amazement crossed his face once more.
‘Bonjour, Theo. How are you today?’ he asked softly, bending down. He ran his finger down the little boy’s cheek and Emily felt a rush of tears fill her eyes when she saw him shudder. It was the first time Ben had actually touched his son and it was obvious that the contact had affected him deeply. It was only when Theo backed away, sheltering shyly behind her legs, that she collected herself. It was Theo who mattered most. How Ben did or didn’t feel wasn’t important.
She scooped the little boy into her arms and cuddled him close. Although Theo was a friendly, outgoing child with people he knew, he tended to be wary around strangers and she didn’t want him getting upset. She looked Ben firmly in the eyes, determined to start the way she intended to go on. ‘I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I have things to do and I can’t spare the time to stand here talking to you.’
‘Really?’ Ben’s expression darkened as he straightened. ‘And when will you have the time, Emily?’
‘I’m not sure.’ She went to close the door, stopping when he put out his hand.
‘That’s not good enough, I’m afraid. We need to talk and I have no intention of allowing you to fob me off.’
‘The way you fobbed me off in Paris,’ she shot back and he flinched.
‘I have already apologised for that. If you want me to apologise again then I shall. I am very sorry for the way I behaved that day. I was unnecessarily harsh, even though at the time I truly believed I had every right to be.’
The words were faultless; however the tone of his voice told a very different story and her mouth compressed. Ben may be paying lip service to an apology but he didn’t really mean it. He still believed that he’d been right to call her a liar and a cheat without taking the time to consider that he might have been wrong. It simply drove it home to her once more how little he had cared about her. She’d been good enough to share his bed but she hadn’t warranted his respect. How on earth could they find any common ground with regard to Theo when their relationship was based on such shaky footings?
‘This isn’t getting us anywhere,’ she said quickly, afraid that it would take very little for her to break down. Although she’d been under no illusions about how Ben felt, it hurt to know that he’d cared so little about her when she had cared so much about him. ‘I don’t want you upsetting Theo so I want you to leave. If you insist on talking to me then I suggest we do it away from here.’
‘That’s fine by me, although I must point out that I have every intention of seeing Theo again.’ His expression softened as he looked at the little boy. ‘I want to get to know him, find out what he likes and dislikes.’
‘If—and it’s a big if at this stage—we reach that point then I won’t stand in your way if I think it’s best for Theo. However, I won’t allow you to bulldoze me into doing what you want, Ben. It’s Theo I’m concerned about, not you or what you want.’
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