always been able to control her desire. But with Jake, she seemed to be constantly fixated on sex.
Though she had good intentions of playing it cool, everything fell apart the moment he touched her. Her rational side could come up with an entire list of reasons why she shouldn’t sleep with Jake. But then her pulse began pounding and she felt a tiny bit lightheaded and her brain stopped working entirely. It felt good to just let go, to feel something so strongly that it completely consumed her. She hadn’t felt like this since that night with Jake on the beach eleven years ago.
But was she really ready to do this? For the past few months, she’d felt an emptiness inside her, as if her life had ceased to make her happy. It would be easy to fill that emptiness with Jake. And maybe she would feel better for a while. Still, Caley didn’t want to believe that she needed a man to be happy. She probably just needed really good sex.
At least she was now old enough to know the difference between desire and love. If she did surrender to physical attraction, Caley would be able to control her emotions. Jake was the last person she would allow herself to love. In truth, he was the only man she’d known who had the capacity to break her heart. And that made him dangerous.
And yet, she wasn’t afraid. Instead, she felt liberated. She could finally act on her desire for Jake and explore just how deep it ran. She didn’t have to pretend anymore. He wanted her and she wanted him, and neither one of them had to deny it.
The shadow of the Burtons’ boathouse, built into the slope of the shoreline, loomed at the edge of the lake. The lower level held the Burtons’ small sailboat and their vintage motorboat, but the upper level was a small apartment that they often used for guests. It was fully furnished with a bed and a sofa and a small kitchen and bath. The windows had been shuttered for the winter, giving the place a cold and uninviting look.
Jake held her hand as she carefully climbed the snow-covered stairs. Caley glanced back over her shoulder to see the trail of their footprints in the moonlight. “They’re going to know we were out here together,” she said.
“I just asked you to give me a hand,” Jake said. “It was a perfectly innocent request.”
Caley took a ragged breath and clenched her fingers inside her jacket pocket. Just the thought of running her hands over his body, of having the freedom to touch him, to undress him, made her mind spin. She knew what would happen when they were alone and she wasn’t afraid. All she could feel was an overwhelming anticipation.
When they reached the landing, Jake pushed the door open and then walked inside. She followed and heard the door shut behind her. The moment it did, Caley felt his hands on her face. His lips met hers and a heartbeat later they were lost in a deep and stirring kiss.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he murmured against her mouth.
“What were you thinking?” she asked, her breath coming in quick gasps.
“About what would happen once we were alone again.”
“Tell me,” she said. “What did you imagine?”
It was so dark inside the boathouse that they couldn’t see anything, but she could feel his heat against her body, his warm breath against her cheek. The lack of sight seemed to heighten all her other senses and she shivered as she felt his lips brush across her cold cheek.
“I imagined that you’d stand in front of me and slowly take all your clothes off. And then, I’d finally be able to touch you. And I’d be able to see if it felt as good as I dreamed it would.”
Caley unzipped her jacket and let it fall to the floor behind her. Then, she pulled her sweater over her head and tossed it aside. She wore a thin T-shirt beneath, barely enough to protect her from the cold. But strangely, she didn’t notice the temperature. Her heart was beating so fast that her skin didn’t even prickle into goose bumps.
Jake reached out and ran his hand down her bare arm, then grabbed her hand and kissed the center of her palm. “Wait here,” he murmured. “The circuit box is in the closet.”
He disappeared into the darkness and Caley leaned back against the door, her heart pounding. She heard him fumbling around on the far side of the room and a moment later, a match flared. The flame illuminated the interior of the boathouse, casting wavering shadows on the walls. Jake lit a lantern and set it down on the bedside table. Then he turned to her, motioning her closer.
Caley rubbed her arms, suddenly feeling the cold along with a rush of nerves. It was easier in the dark, like a dream, two bodies connected only by touch. But now that she could see the bed, could look into Jake’s eyes, it had all become very real.
“Let me see if I can get the heat going,” he said. He walked past her to the opposite wall and leaned inside the closet. A switch clicked. A moment later, he bent over the radiator and nodded. “It’s working.”
Jake moved back toward her, taking off his jacket along the way. He was the boy she’d always known, every feature still there—the dark lashes and brows, the penetrating pale blue eyes, the straight nose and sensuous mouth. But with age, his features had become even more captivating, more compelling. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him.
When he stood in front of her, Caley reached up and unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his skin to her touch. “What are we doing here?” she murmured, pressing her lips to his chest.
“I have no idea,” Jake replied, “but I don’t want to stop.”
He smoothed his hands up her back and Caley shivered at the sensation of his touch. “This is going to be impossible,” she murmured, nuzzling her face into his neck.
“We’re in the same state, living minutes apart. How is that impossible?” He pulled her along to the bed. “We have heat and light and a comfortable bed. What happens here is just us, no one else. I promise.”
“This could change everything,” Caley said as he kissed her neck.
Jake grabbed her waist and they tumbled onto the bed, the covers cold on her bare skin. “I’m counting on that,” he said.
Caley reached up to run her fingers through his dark hair and smiled. “You know, I really don’t think we should do this. You’re not ready and it wouldn’t be right and I just don’t think of you in that way.”
He frowned, pushing back. “You don’t?”
“I just don’t have those kinds of feelings for you, Jake,” she murmured, deepening her voice to make the imitation more obvious.
She watched as a slow smile broke across his face. He’d said those same words to her that night on the beach. “I lied,” Jake said. “Believe me, I did have those feelings.”
His admission stunned her. “Really?”
“For a long time.”
“How long?”
“Remember that red striped bikini you had? You were fourteen that summer.”
Caley nodded.
“Since then. I remember I saw you in that bikini and later that night I was thinking about you and your body and how smooth your skin was and how perfect your breasts were and then I—well, you know.”
“I do?”
“What? You want me to say it? I pleasured myself as teenage boys do on occasion. Hey, grown men do it, too.” He chuckled softly. “All I remember is, from that summer on, being around you was pure torture.”
Caley smiled, satisfied with the admission. So the infatuation hadn’t been unreciprocated. Oddly enough, that did make a difference. Why not make both of their fantasies come true? “So what else were you thinking about?” she asked as she dropped a line of kisses across his chest.
He pressed his mouth to her shoulder, gently biting as he kissed her. “I wasn’t very experienced back then. I was still technically a virgin. But I thought about what you’d look like