from him. Much more experienced than she was, at first he’d thought it was an innocent shyness, then a natural reserve that came from her upbringing. But as having a family eluded them month after month, she’d seemed to withdraw more, and he had to admit he’d been in turmoil about all of it, too. When she’d suggested adoption, he hadn’t wanted to consider it. But the tension had grown more palpable between them, and he’d finally agreed to begin the interview process.
Now…
Now as he approached the bed and looked at his wife’s body under the sheet, he realized Carrie wasn’t wearing a nightgown. Usually she did. Usually he enjoyed ridding her of it. The sight of her in the moonlit shadows, the idea of his skin touching hers, aroused him fully.
When she felt his weight on the bed, she came awake as if even in her dreams she’d been waiting for him. Her eyes opened and her hand fluttered out to touch him. It landed lightly on his chest. “I tried to stay awake. What time is it?”
“Midnight.”
“Long day,” she murmured sleepily but then came more awake and smiled at him.
The light, whispery scent of a flowery shampoo seemed to pull him closer to her. Switching off the lamp and angling on his side, he was suddenly overwhelmed by a caveman desire to make her his without gentle kisses and touches, without foreplay, with nothing but mindless need. Yet something had always kept him from doing that. Carrie’s entry into his life had made him notice starlight and sunsets and orchids growing on undeveloped land. She’d awakened a protective instinct in him as well as a primitive one.
When he slid his hand into her hair, she raised her face to his.
“Are you as excited as I am about adopting this baby?” she asked softly.
“I will be. It’s not real yet.”
“It could happen quickly.”
“Or an unwed mother could choose us early in her pregnancy, and we’d go through the whole process with her. It would take months.”
“That might be even more wonderful.”
His wife’s voice was happy with the idea, but Brian knew that that scenario carried its share of hazards. What if the mother changed her mind? What if she gave birth and kept the baby? As far as he was concerned, adoption was filled with land mines. But it was their only option now except for a surrogate, and he believed that would be even more complicated.
“You’re still not sold on adoption, are you?” Carrie’s voice caught with worry.
“I want a family, and I want it with you.” As far as he was concerned, that said it all.
Her eyes became luminous then, and he couldn’t restrain the desire to kiss her. It was hot and deep and wet, and Carrie responded to it by meeting his tongue with hers, wrapping her arms around his neck, moving her body close to his. They usually took it slower but there seemed to be a desperation in both of them tonight. Their touches, kisses and caresses were filled with a yearning he couldn’t define. When he entered her, she clung to him. Their bodies glistened as they climaxed.
When the ripples of pleasure from their lovemaking ended, Brian rolled away from Carrie, physically spent. More than physically spent. Something about their union tonight had shaken him. It was as if they’d been skating on a frozen lake, had felt the ice cracking beneath them, and had held on to each other just the same, denying what was happening.
Carrie slipped her hand into his and they lay there a long time. “Are you awake?” she asked in a whisper.
“Yes.”
“The caterer called today while I was at the hospital to go over the menu for Saturday night. I’ll finalize everything with him tomorrow. We’re still having six guests?”
The dinner they were giving on Saturday would bring together his closest associates and their wives. “Yes, plus the two of us. Do you still want to fly to San Francisco with me on Wednesday to see your sister?”
“If that’s all right with you.”
“I’d like you to have dinner with my client and his wife.”
“That’s fine. Brenda has to go to work at five anyway. I’m hoping if we have a few hours alone, I can convince her to give college another try.”
Carrie’s younger sister Brenda was twenty now. She’d dropped out of Berkeley and an education Carrie had been funding because she’d fallen in love with an L.A. musician. It hadn’t worked out and she was back in San Francisco now working behind the cosmetics counter in a department store. Brian stayed clear of giving advice to Carrie where her family was concerned. He knew nothing about sibling dynamics and when it came to parents… Carrie was polite to hers, the perfect daughter as far as he could see. There seemed to be an invisible wall between Carrie and her mother, though. Maybe he recognized it because he sometimes felt that same wall between Carrie and him.
Suddenly Brian felt restless, much too wired to go to sleep. Sliding his hand from Carrie’s, he moved to the edge of the bed.
“Where are you going?”
“I have work to take care of before we go to San Francisco—a spreadsheet on property assessments.”
His wife was silent and he knew why. Nothing she could say would dissuade him from going to his office downstairs.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” she said softly.
Standing by the side of the bed, he was so tempted to touch her again.
But then she pulled the sheet up to her shoulders and turned over.
Brian snatched up his sweatpants from the bedside chair and left the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
Two
“Are you almost ready?” Brian called up the stairs on Wednesday morning.
Lifting her cosmetics case from the dresser, Carrie took a last look in the mirror at her sea-green pantsuit and went into the hall. “I’m ready. Are you in a hurry to get to the airport?”
“I’m initiating a conference call after we get through security. I don’t want to have to rush it.”
Ever since Monday night when Brian had made love to her so passionately, he’d seemed to withdraw. Sometimes she didn’t understand him, and she knew he didn’t always understand her. She marveled how when they’d first met, they’d seemed to be able to read each other’s minds. Where had that ability gone?
“I guess I’d better take along something to read if you’re going to be tied up.” She’d hoped they’d discuss their plans for the baby. She’d hoped—
As she descended the steps, the phone rang. Since Brian was already in the kitchen on his way to the garage with their luggage, she went to the living room and picked up the cordless phone. “Summers residence,” she answered automatically.
“Mrs. Summers, it’s Trina Bentley from Children’s Connection.”
“Hi, Trina. What can I do for you?” The caseworker probably needed yet another signature on something.
“I think I might be able to do something for you.”
Carrie’s heart began to pound. “Do you have a baby?”
Brian had returned from the garage and caught her question to the caseworker. Standing in the doorway, his gaze met hers.
“Not exactly, but a baby could be the end result.”
“I don’t understand.”
Obviously eager to explain, Trina went on, “What we have is an unwed mother who is homeless. Her name is Lisa Sanders. She’s been residing in a shelter for the past month. Yesterday she passed out, and one of her friends called the paramedics. In the emergency room, one of the nurses referred her to a social worker. When Lisa said she