do this with a smile, for Ruby’s sake. No way was she going to rain on her best friend’s parade.
‘You know you can bring a date to the wedding,’ Ruby said. ‘Just give me a name for when it comes to sorting out the place cards. Or you don’t even have to do that—bring whoever you like and I’ll get someone to write his name on the place card that morning.’
‘Thanks, but I don’t need a date. I’m going to be way too busy on the day for that,’ Abigail said with a smile. ‘I’ve got chief bridesmaid duties to think about, and I want everything to go perfectly for your wedding.’ The fact she’d barely dated since her divorce was irrelevant.
Or—a nasty thought hit her—was Ruby trying to tell her something? That she should bring a date, because Brad was bringing his new love to meet everyone and it would be awkward if Abigail turned up alone?
‘Is Brad bringing a date?’ Abigail asked, trying her best to sound casual and hoping that her suddenly thumping heart didn’t show in her voice.
‘Of course he’s not. He’s married to his j...’ Ruby winced and clapped a hand to her mouth. ‘Um.’
Abigail smiled and finished the phrase. ‘Married to his job.’ Whereas he’d once been married to me. And she knew that was exactly what Ruby was thinking, too.
‘Sorry, Abby. I didn’t mean to—’
Abigail hugged her best friend. ‘It’s fine. That water’s so far under the bridge, it’s already been recycled twice. Brad and I can be civil to each other.’ She hoped. She’d been through all the stages of grief at the end of their marriage. Denial that it was over, anger that he was being so stubborn, bargaining with him to see sense, depression when she realised that she just wasn’t enough for him, and finally acceptance that it was all over. All laced together with guilt, because she’d been the one to instigate the end.
She’d been so sure that if she walked out on him and went home to her parents, it would shock him into his senses: that he’d miss her and realise that shutting her out wasn’t the answer.
And how wrong she’d been. Because, instead of asking her to come back to him, Brad had simply said that her defection was proof that everyone had been right about them. They’d been way too young to get married, they weren’t going to make it, and he’d give her a divorce so she could have the chance to make a real life for herself.
Divorce had been the last thing she’d wanted.
But Brad had built a wall of ice around himself after his father’s death. He’d shut Abigail out, and she just hadn’t been able to reach him. Despite being married for nearly four years, they hadn’t been strong enough to weather the storm. She hadn’t supported him enough in his grief or been able to hold her marriage together.
So maybe everyone had been right about their relationship, after all. They’d been naive and reckless and immature, eloping to Gretna Green the week before their exam results. Everyone else had thought they were simply doing the coast-to-coast walk from St Bees in the Lake District to Robin Hood’s Bay in Yorkshire, raising money for the local lifeboat rescue team—which they had. They’d just happened to go to St Bees via Gretna Green, having quietly sorted out all the marriage paperwork the day after their last exams.
At the time, they’d both thought that eloping would be romantic. That each other was The One. That their love would last for ever.
Yeah. Naive, reckless and immature just about summed it up.
And she wasn’t any of those any more.
‘Is Brad OK with me being your bridesmaid?’ Abigail asked. ‘If he’s not, you know I’ll step down and keep out of the way on the actual day—but obviously I’ll still help you with all the organisation and do anything you need.’
Ruby rolled her eyes. ‘For goodness’ sake. Who else was I going to ask to be my chief bridesmaid, other than the person who’s been my best friend since the day we met at toddler group?’
And who also happened to be her twin’s ex-wife.
‘Have you actually told him?’ Abigail asked.
‘Yes. And he—well, he said the same that you did. That you could be perfectly civil to each other at the wedding.’
Civil. All that passion and love and hope reduced to cool, dismissive politeness. It made Abigail want to weep. What a waste.
Not that she was going to let Ruby have the slightest idea about that. Abigail wanted her best friend’s wedding day to be the happiest day of her life and she’d do her best to make it happen. ‘There you go, then. All’s fine.’ Abigail smiled. ‘Now, we have lists to make. If you will insist on having a whirlwind wedding...’
Ruby snorted. ‘Says the woman who eloped.’
‘There’s a lot to be said for keeping it simple,’ Abigail said lightly. ‘No worries about seating plans, menus or dresses.’
Ruby looked at her. ‘Do you regret it, Abby?’
‘Marrying your brother? Or eloping?’ Abigail asked.
‘You know what I’m asking.’
Abigail sighed. ‘I don’t regret marrying Brad. I loved him. We just brought the wedding forward to before he went away to study rather than waiting until after he’d finished his degree, that was all.’ It had been Brad’s idea to elope and, although part of Abby had thought it wasn’t really practical to get married when he was about to go away and be a student, she’d been madly in love with him and thought he felt the same about her. So she’d said yes, squashing her misgivings.
‘But you regret eloping?’
‘Yes and no. Yes, it was romantic and fun to elope.’ Just the two of them. And they’d made love so tenderly in their cheap hotel room that night. Eighteen years old, with the whole world ahead of them. ‘But, in hindsight,’ Abigail said, ‘I regret not sharing the day with everyone else. It meant Dad didn’t get to walk me down the aisle, our mums didn’t get the chance to dress up and make a fuss, you weren’t my bridesmaid, and your dad wasn’t the best man. Looking back, I realise we were selfish. We should’ve shared that day.’ And maybe if they’d been mature enough to share their wedding, they would’ve been mature enough to make their marriage last.
‘Anyway, there’s no point in dwelling on it because you can’t change the past.’ Abigail opened up her laptop. ‘Right. Our list of things to do starts here...’
Six weeks later
Great Crowmell.
Even the signpost made Brad’s stomach turn to knots.
The town where he’d grown up.
The town where he’d met the love of his life.
The town where he’d lost her.
He was dreading this. He’d avoided coming here at all since his father’s funeral—not for birthdays, not for Christmases, not for an off-the-cuff visit. The longer he left it, the harder it was to face. He’d seen his family—of course he had—but not here. He’d met them in London, organised posh afternoon teas and trips to the theatre with hard-to-get tickets, to make up for not coming here.
Every nerve in his body told him to turn the car round again and drive back to London. Back to where he could bury himself in work and forget everything.
But he couldn’t be that selfish. His sister was getting married and he had no intention of letting her down. This was the one thing that would make him come back: Ruby had asked him to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day and he’d promised her he’d do it. Even though the last time he’d set foot in that church and walked down that aisle, he’d been one of the pallbearers carrying their father’s coffin, he’d suck up his feelings for her sake.
Though Brad hadn’t quite been able to face going back to stay in their childhood home, filled