that it was actually quite freeing. There would be no I’m Freya Rothsberg. Yes, Aubrey St Claire and Michael Rothsberg are indeed my parents. And if he recognised the name, then he’d know about their messy divorce. And there would be no I’m thirty-one, single, perfectionist, infertile but trying not to be, recovered anorexic. She didn’t have to say she was a big shot in PR. Or that she was stressing about taking on the charity side of her brother’s medical centre. Or that, though she’d pushed James to let her, really she wanted to use her psychology degree.
No names didn’t mean no past but it meant she didn’t have to reveal anything that she didn’t want to.
Who was she without all of that? Freya lay there and pondered.
She.
The woman in his arms, and that was enough for him.
He.
Freya understood now the bliss of no names.
‘He’s an ex.’ Freya answered the question after a very long pause. ‘And he tried it on last night. Several times.’
‘I’d try it on again with you...’
‘He’s married.’
‘Bastard,’ Zack said. ‘Did you know that he was when you were together?’
‘He wasn’t married then,’ Freya said. ‘From the way we broke up it would seem he wanted a wife and children. He’s got what he wanted but his wife wasn’t there last night. He said he wanted to bring in the New Year with me up in his room.’
‘What did you say to him?’
‘I told him I hadn’t enjoyed sex with him the first time around and that I felt sorry for his short-suffering wife.’
He laughed.
‘You’re not married, are you?’ Freya checked.
He could lie, she guessed, but she felt he wouldn’t.
There was no point in lying.
‘Oh, no,’ Zack said. ‘And I have no intention to ever be. This is absolutely guilt-free sex, baby...’
Freya doubted this encounter would be entirely guilt free, no doubt she’d be crawling with shame a few hours from now, but that was her.
‘Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?’ he asked.
‘Many,’ Freya said. She had pored over them for hours and had them all written out.
‘Such as?’
They were mostly the same as every other year—unlike other people, who seemed to swear to go on a diet or exercise, Freya’s resolution was to not embark on a sudden diet or obsess over exercise. Not that she told him that.
Neither did she tell him about the baby she wanted and her dream of having her own little family.
Nor did she tell him that she was over men. Though perhaps not completely over them, given where she was.
So she just lay there, overthinking but oddly lulled by the soothing stroke of his hands and the nudge of his erection behind her. No, there was no need to tell him about the career she wanted to tackle but had been avoiding doing so.
‘I made my list of resolutions yesterday after my run,’ Freya said.
‘Do you run a lot?’ he asked, his fingers examining her slim, toned body.
‘On alternate days,’ Freya said.
‘And what do you do on the other one?’
‘I go for a walk,’ Freya said, and the threat of tears was back but she held them in, although she did admit a truth she would never dare to another. ‘And I try not to run.’ She was more honest with a stranger than the people closest to her and his response was kind.
He gave a light kiss to her shoulder.
‘It’s okay.’
He could feel her near to tears and he got that.
Anonymity at times came with deep trust, for you were at your most bare.
‘I ran,’ Zack said. ‘Well, I’m not a runner but I ran from all that was expected of me and I’m still running.’
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