besides his reaction was awareness that she responded, too. Her reaction showed in tiny ways: a surprised look, a flicker in her eyes, a deep breath. Some kind of chemistry existed between them, an attraction that he could not pursue and she didn’t want.
When they walked to his front porch, she turned to face him, offering her hand.
“Thank you for this fantastic offer. I’m going to love taking care of Amelia and now I won’t have to worry about finances so much,” she said, withdrawing her hand that was soft and slender.
“Even though you’re on a full scholarship, I know your brother has offered to pay your college expenses and you’ve always turned him down.”
“He put himself through school and I want to do this on my own, too, the way he did. I have my undergraduate degree now, so I’m making progress and I see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.”
“Congratulations. That’s commendable,” Cade said, realizing she had a streak of independence that was so like her brother. “For the present, you have my phone number in case you need anything. And the offer of help to move still stands. I’ll see you Monday.”
“Thanks. I never dreamed I’d be in a business arrangement with you someday. And I’m sure you wouldn’t have thought it possible to be in one with me,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “I might as well have been wallpaper for all the attention you ever gave me back then.”
He smiled and held back a reply that came to mind instantly, that he definitely noticed her now and she wasn’t anything like wallpaper. He glanced at her full lips and wondered again about kissing her. More forbidden thoughts plagued him, thoughts that he would have to squelch. How many times would he have to remind himself?
“Cade, thank you again so very much for this job. I’m thrilled and looking forward to getting started,” she said.
With an effort, he stepped back. “See you Monday,” he said, taking a deep breath.
“Sure,” she said, giving him one more long look before she hurried to her small black car. She waved as she drove away.
He had an excellent, trustworthy nanny—and a nagging worry that he might be bringing trouble home in a big way. Was he going to be able to ignore the chemistry that smoldered between them today? Was he going to be careful to avoid trying to seduce his nanny? He had to or he’d lose his best friend forever. Besides, he wasn’t interested in commitment and Erin was the marrying kind. She had already been hurt badly and was vulnerable. He couldn’t hurt her more.
Cade watched her car go down the ranch drive, but all he really saw were big green eyes and a rosy mouth that looked ripe for kissing.
* * *
When Erin glanced at her rearview mirror, Cade still stood on the porch of his sprawling ranch house. A tall Texas rancher, a man worth millions, yet he looked like other cowboys from ranches all over Texas. Except he was more handsome than most.
Smiling, she thought about how he had been shocked that she had grown up. He had never paid attention to her the years he was in high school. All her brother’s friends had seemed big and intimidating and they had seldom taken notice of her, which was a relief to her. She just tried to avoid them and go ahead with what she wanted to do.
By the time Cade graduated from college, she was in her early teens and was attracted to him, thinking he was to-die-for handsome. She had a silly, schoolgirl crush that she told no one about. She knew the times he was at their house he didn’t notice her any more than he had when she was nine years old and he had been in high school.
She hadn’t seen Cade in years and it was a surprise to see an appealing, good-looking rancher. A grown man now—handsome, filled out and older, with that air of confidence that was as evident as it was with her brother.
Even though Cade was still her brother’s closest friend, there was only a little she knew about him.
When she rounded a bend in the road and his house disappeared from the view behind her, she let out her breath. With the check he had just given her, there was no way she could turn down his job offer, but it was going to hurt badly at times.
She still wasn’t over her losses completely, though the pain had eased somewhat. Losing her baby had been devastating and when Cade handed Amelia to her, she’d had a terrible clutch to her heart and felt tears sting her eyes. As she drove down the graveled, dusty ranch road, a pang still tore at her. She didn’t think she would ever stop hurting over losing her baby, even though it had been early in her pregnancy, and she knew that Amelia was going to be a constant reminder of what she had lost.
Now she had taken a job that was going to dredge up that pain again every day until she got accustomed to dealing with Amelia and could focus on her charge without thinking about her miscarriage. Amelia looked so adorable, she should bring cheer just by being a sweet baby.
Cade, however, might not be so easily handled. He loomed, another giant difficulty because of his incredible appeal. What might make working for him difficult was the chemistry between them. Where had that come from? She felt it and she knew he had. Or maybe he stirred that reaction in all the women he met.
Several times today, he had looked at her intently, giving her the look a man gives a woman when he actually sees her as an attractive woman. She wasn’t so out of practice that she didn’t recognize it.
It wouldn’t have mattered if he had spent the whole interview flirting with her. She didn’t want to date, didn’t want to fall in love, didn’t want any kind of relationship. The pain of her broken engagement was still too real, too intense. The consequences of any relationship would bring back too many hurtful memories.
She didn’t want to get involved emotionally with any man at this point in her life and definitely not Cade. She knew his views on relationships and his cynical view of marriage. She might not ever be able to have a baby, but she still wanted marriage and children in her future and that was not what Cade had ever wanted. If she could resist Cade’s appeal and deal with the hurt and reminders of her loss that Amelia would unknowingly cause, this job would be great. A huge windfall for her, and good experience for her future career. Cade’s offer had been irresistible. No way could she have turned it down.
Even though Erin tried to avoid thinking too much about her doctor’s warning that she might not ever be able to carry a baby full-term, it was impossible to forget. If she couldn’t bear a child, she would adopt. She would have a family, one way or another, but that would come in her future. Now she intended to concentrate on grad school and her career.
For a few months she would take care of a precious little girl. Amelia Callahan was a beautiful baby with lots of thick black curls and big dark blue eyes like her uncle. Erin remembered the few minutes when she held her and Amelia had stopped crying, looking into Erin’s eyes as if they were bonding.
And you bonded with her uncle, too.
She ignored the insinuating voice inside her head. She hadn’t bonded with Cade; she’d simply looked at him while he spoke to her. Yeah, and drowned in his eyes. And nearly ignited when he touched her.
Who was she kidding? Working for Cade was going to take difficult to new levels.
Living on the ranch, she could only hope Cade would be gone most of the day. It would make her job easier if he wasn’t around. She was going to love precious little Amelia and when December came, it would be dreadful to say goodbye.
In the meantime she’d simply avoid caring too much about Amelia’s appealing guardian.
* * *
On Monday Erin changed clothes several times, finally deciding on practical navy slacks, a short-sleeve matching cotton blouse with a round neckline and navy pumps. She brushed her hair and stood looking at herself until she realized she was thinking about how Cade would view her. She had to stop that. And she had to put a halt to the heart-pounding, prickly awareness of him that had plagued her all weekend.
Her apartment bell buzzed and she went to the intercom