Ryder’s jaw tightened and he pinned her with a hard stare. Clearly he didn’t share his mom’s enthusiasm. He’d be relieved to know Becca wouldn’t accept the offer. Not in a million years.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING, Becca and Noah went down to the lobby to check out the complimentary continental breakfast. Everything from the locally made muffins and cinnamon buns to the bowls of fresh fruit looked amazing. They even offered two varieties of dry cereal. Eating breakfast here every day would give her pocketbook a small boost.
She poured some orange juice and a glass of milk for Noah, and filled a mug of coffee for herself. Of course he had eyes only for the sweets. Becca picked out an apple and a banana and let him have half a cinnamon bun as a special treat.
Patty, the woman behind the front desk, had kindly loaned her a tray so she could carry everything back to their room. Patty had even grabbed a couple of oranges from the back and set them on the tray with a second cinnamon bun despite Becca’s protest.
Ten minutes later, sitting at the small table across from Noah, Becca had finished the bun and her coffee. How could she have forgotten Marge’s cinnamon rolls? Back when she and Amy were teenagers, they’d gone to Marge’s Diner for the sweet gooey buns at least once a week.
The pleasant memory faded in seconds. Becca checked her phone, even knowing it was useless. Still nothing from Amy. Derek’s call had chipped away some of Becca’s hope, but not all of it.
Glancing up, she saw a little arm slowly reaching across the table. “Noah, stop. Finish your banana.”
“No. I want that,” he said, pointing a sticky finger at the other half of the bun, which she’d already wrapped up in a napkin.
“I said you could have half.”
“No!”
“Don’t yell. Drink your milk.”
His cheeks growing pink, he stuck out his lower lip, and she prayed a tantrum wasn’t brewing.
She’d always limited his sugar intake, for the usual health reasons, but also to temper his intermittent outbursts. Isabella had assured her that Noah was no different from any other four-year-old, but that didn’t stop Becca from worrying. She wanted to believe Amy, who swore she hadn’t done any drugs while she was pregnant. In fact, her addiction hadn’t taken hold until after Noah was born. Still, Becca would be a fool to dismiss the possibility.
Fortunately, Noah’s pout gave way to a big yawn.
Neither of them had slept well last night. Becca knew exactly what had made her restless, but she had expected Noah to conk out.
Before she got lost in thoughts of Ryder and Gail and how she would handle the phone call that she’d promised to make, she rose and went around the table to Noah’s side.
She crouched down and slipped her arms around him. “I love you, sweet boy.”
“Love you, too, Mommy.”
She leaned back to look at him. “What do you think about taking a nap?”
His dark blue eyes turned stormy. So much like Ryder’s yesterday that her heart rate doubled. God, she wished she’d never seen the similarity.
“I’m going to lie down, too. I was hoping we could take a nap together.”
Noah frowned, clearly trying to decide if he liked the idea or not.
“Then later, when we wake up, we’ll go for a drive. There are all kinds of horses and cows around here.”
His face brightened. “Where?”
“Not too far from town.”
“Can we pet them?”
“Maybe,” she said, using his napkin to wipe the corner of his mouth. “Finish your milk and banana, okay?”
“Okay,” he said, drawing out the word into a sigh as he picked up his plastic cup.
Becca got to her feet and cleared the table, making sure she hid the remaining half of the cinnamon roll where he couldn’t see it. Maybe they’d split it later.
“Can we ride the horses?” Noah asked, setting down his empty cup and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Horses are very big. And you don’t know how to ride.”
“Do you?”
Becca nodded. “It’s been a long time, though.”
“Will you teach me?”
“We’ll see,” she said, knowing that wouldn’t happen. “Go wash your face and hands, please.”
After putting out the Do-Not-Disturb sign, she pulled back the sheets she’d tidied earlier and fluffed Noah’s pillow. He left the bathroom and headed straight for the bed, not grumbling once. But he didn’t close his eyes until she joined him.
She hadn’t tried to trick him. She welcomed sleep: twenty minutes, a half hour, three hours, whatever she could get. It didn’t take long for the guilt and fear to sink their teeth into her. Forgetting that Noah wasn’t hers by blood was much easier when she wasn’t staring his grandmother and uncle in the face.
In the plus column, Becca knew returning to Blackfoot Falls had been the right thing to do. Here, she was spared the fear that Derek might suddenly show up and drag Noah away. Aside from the Mitchells, and worrying about Amy, her other problem had to do with work.
Her boss was a nice guy but his patience extended only so far. And she needed a paycheck. Soon. Just because she’d left LA didn’t mean she didn’t have to pay her rent. And Isabella, God bless her, had refused the money Becca had tried to give her since it wasn’t her fault she wouldn’t be needed for a week...or two. But Becca preferred to be optimistic.
Later, she figured she’d go take a look at her grandparents’ house. See what kind of shape it was in. Thinking about the modest homestead surrounded by blue sky and open space calmed her. Her pulse had slowed and her eyelids drooped. She snuggled into the pillow and started to drift off...
A knock at the door jarred her awake. She looked over at Noah. Thankfully he hadn’t moved.
She leaped out of bed and raced to the door. Forestalling a second knock, Becca skipped the peephole and pulled the door open. “Ryder?”
He took off his Stetson and ran a hand through his sandy-brown hair. “I hope this isn’t too early.”
“Um, no.” Her heart pounded, and for a second she considered telling him it was a bad time. But not knowing what he wanted would drive her crazy. She glanced back at Noah, who still hadn’t stirred. “Come in,” she whispered, stepping aside to let him pass. “We’ll have to keep our voices down.”
As Ryder crossed the threshold, he saw Noah curled up in the middle of the bed. “I can come back later.”
The faint scent of leather and saddle soap drifted in with him, bringing with it memories of long ago afternoons, her hanging out in the stables with him and his dad, asking endless questions. Until now she hadn’t fully appreciated how patient they’d been with her.
“Now is better,” she said. “We’re going for a drive later.”
“I’d hate to wake him.”
“He’ll be okay. We don’t exactly live in the quietest neighborhood in LA.” She led him to the table, suddenly conscious of her sloppy gray sweatpants and her oversize black sweatshirt sans bra. Not that he’d notice. Anyway, she was too nervous to care. He hadn’t smiled once and she couldn’t imagine what was so important that he’d show up unannounced like this.
She sat in the same chair she’d used earlier, and he took Noah’s. The table was small but perfectly adequate...until Ryder rested his elbows on the wood veneer surface and leaned across it.