her birthing partner.”
She nodded. “I was surprised she chose me. I mean, we’d become pretty good friends at law school and were both pleased when we got hired on at Wainwright, Witmer & Wynne, but I thought there must have been someone else she was closer to.”
“She was an only child born late in the lives of both of her parents,” Zach remembered. “And she lost them both the year after she graduated.”
Paige nodded again and wondered why she was surprised that he knew those details. Obviously he and Olivia had engaged in conversation and sex—which was definitely not a path she wanted her mind to be wandering down, because just thinking of Zach and sex in the same sentence made her blood heat and her pulse race.
The attraction she felt for him was purely physical—and not entirely unexpected, considering how long it had been since she’d been with any man and that she’d never known a man who oozed testosterone the way Zach Crawford did. She also knew her feelings were wrong—and self-destructive. Unfortunately, that knowledge didn’t give her any more control over them, but it did help her refocus her attention on their conversation.
“I was hesitant at first,” Paige said, referring to the childbirth classes she’d attended with Olivia. “Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that I was terrified that I would screw up or somehow let her down. But I finally agreed.
“Every week on our way to class, she would thank me again, telling me how grateful she was for my support, as if I was doing her this huge favor.”
“To her, you were.”
“Maybe,” she acknowledged. “But I realized, as her pregnancy progressed and the date of Emma’s birth drew nearer, that I was the one who was grateful. Because the whole process of growing a baby really is a miracle and I was thrilled to share in it.”
“Did Olivia know she was having a girl?”
“Yeah. She didn’t like surprises, and she was determined to know the baby’s gender so that she would be better prepared for her arrival.”
Zach finished his coffee. “Was she happy?”
“She was thrilled,” Paige said. “I’m not sure that was true in the very beginning. As far as I know, she struggled through the early stages of oh-my-God-I’m-pregnant-what-do-I-do-now? on her own. She didn’t even tell me until she was through her first trimester, and then it was a very matter-of-fact ‘I’m pregnant. Yes, I’m keeping the baby. No, the father isn’t going to be involved, and will you go to prenatal classes with me?’”
“I’m glad that she didn’t seem to have any doubts about having the baby—if a little surprised,” he admitted. “She seemed so completely focused on her career. During the time that we were together, she certainly never said anything to me—she never even hinted—about wanting a baby.”
“I don’t think she had thought about it, not until she realized she was pregnant. But she was a wonderful mother.” Tears stung her eyes as she thought about Olivia with Emma, how much her friend had loved her baby and everything Emma had lost when she’d lost her mother. “She was so patient with the baby. Sure, she got overwhelmed and frazzled on occasion, but she never took it out on Emma. She simply and completely loved her little girl.”
“Tell me about when Emma was born,” he said.
“You really want the details?”
“Yeah.”
Paige shrugged. “Her water broke at three o’clock in the morning, so she knew that labor would be starting soon, but she figured she had time to shower and shave her legs first—as if the ob-gyn cared about her razor stubble.”
“I can see Olivia worrying about something like that,” Zach said and smiled.
“Yeah, well, she took a chunk of skin off her ankle bone because she had the razor in her hand when the first contraction hit.”
He winced. “Ouch.”
“And that was only the beginning.”
“When did she call you?”
She thought back, trying to remember. So many details of that day were permanently etched on her memory. Others were less clear. “It was around four, I think. She’d managed to finish her shower and dry her hair and get dressed, but the contractions were coming every fifteen minutes or so, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to drive herself to the hospital.”
“Which proves that she’d considered it,” he noted.
Paige nodded. “Thankfully, I only lived a few blocks away, so we were at the hospital before five. Of course, her doctor didn’t show up until seven, and even then, he wasn’t ready to admit her because the labor hadn’t progressed very far.
“Anyway, long story short, Emma was born just after ten p.m. that night.”
“Why do I get the feeling that you skipped over a lot of stuff?”
“Because I didn’t think you wanted to hear about the contractions stalling and the baby being in distress and finally being delivered by emergency C-section.”
Nor did she want to think about those complications—and the accompanying terror—while Megan was in labor. Of course, she was confident her cousin could handle just about anything. Because from the minute she’d learned that she was pregnant, Megan had been reading everything she could find on pregnancy and labor and childbirth. In fact, Paige wouldn’t be surprised if the mother-to-be couldn’t teach the doctor a thing or two.
Still, Paige would feel a lot better once the baby was actually born. Because although it was true that women had been having babies since the beginning of time, it was also true that even with all of the progress in modern medicine, there were still occasions when things went wrong. And although Paige knew it was both silly and futile, she crossed her fingers under the table, hoping that nothing would go wrong for Megan or her baby.
“Yeah,” Zach finally responded to her comment. “It’s hard enough to think about how differently things could have turned out fourteen months after the fact. I can’t imagine what she—and you—went through at the time.”
“Olivia was a trooper throughout the whole thing,” she told him. “But when they finally pulled the baby out, we both cried right along with Emma.”
“Thank you,” Zach said softly.
Paige looked over at him, surprised. “For what?”
“For telling me,” he said. “But especially for being there, for Olivia and Emma.”
“It was my pleasure—and an absolute thrill to hold Emma in my arms when she was only minutes old.” She glanced at Zach again and felt an unexpected twinge of guilt, as if she’d stolen an experience that should have been his. But then she remembered the point she’d made earlier—that even if he had known about Olivia’s pregnancy and wanted to be there for the birth, things might not have played out any differently.
Except that there would have been no question about the baby’s custody when Olivia died. Or maybe the accident never would have happened, because Olivia wouldn’t have driven to New Jersey to tell Zach about the baby because he would already have known. But it was pointless to play “what if” at this stage. All they could do now was move forward, even if neither of them knew exactly what direction was forward.
Emma wriggled, trying to get out of the high chair, just wanting to move. Cubes of Jell-O were scattered on the tray and on the floor, but clearly she’d had enough of her snack and was ready to escape her confinement. Paige glanced at her watch and frowned. “I can’t keep her here all night.”
“I could—” Zach began, then snapped his jaw shut.
She sighed. “I know I’m being unreasonable. I just can’t seem to stop myself.”
“And I don’t know what to say or do to