We have a fabulous deep gorge and a sizeable river.’
‘Can you swim there?’ Holly asked with an encouraging smile.
Not unless you’re willing to risk being eaten by a crocodile.
Sidestepping that question, Gray said instead, ‘There’s a dam near the homestead where you can swim.’ When it’s not too hot or muddy.
He tentatively touched his daughter’s arm. Her skin was soft and smooth and perfect and his heart lurched. He hated to think of her being muddy or sunburned or in any kind of danger from the harsh environment that was his home.
Would he be able to take proper care of her? He hunted for something positive to tell her.
‘Do you like puppies, Anna?’
She nodded solemnly.
‘I have a nice kelpie and she’s going to have babies very soon. By the time we get home there might be puppies.’
‘How many puppies?’
‘Maybe three or four.’
Anna’s eyes widened. ‘Are they all in their mommy’s tummy?’
‘Yes. They’re growing fat and wriggly and they’re almost ready to be born.’
‘Like Josh and me? We were together in our mommy’s tummy.’
Gray tensed, expecting his daughter to burst into tears now that she’d inadvertently mentioned her mother. His skin grew clammy. His heart picked up pace. Hell. What should he do and say now?
Holly spoke for him. ‘That’s right, Anna. The puppies are just like you and Josh, all together in their mommy’s tummy.’ She said this smoothly and calmly, as if nothing awkward or dangerous had happened. ‘If there are three puppies, they’ll be triplets. If there are four they’ll be quads.’
To Gray’s surprise, Anna grinned, clearly pleased with Holly’s answer.
‘Why don’t you two have a game of Snap while your dad drinks his coffee?’ Holly suggested next. ‘Take the cards through to your room. I’ll call you as soon as lunch is ready.’
‘Is Dad having lunch with us?’ Josh asked.
‘Of course. He’ll be staying here with us for a few days.’
Satisfied, the boy began to gather up the cards and the two trotted happily off to their room.
As they left, Gray sent Holly a surprised smile, shaking his head. ‘They did exactly what you asked. Are they always so obedient?’
She laughed. ‘Heavens, no. Although they’re getting better all the time.’ She poured coffee into two mugs. ‘Here’s your coffee. Drink it while it’s hot.’
‘Thanks.’ He relaxed into the sofa and took a deep sip. The coffee was indeed hot and strong and of very good quality.
Over the rim of his mug he stole a closer look at Holly O’Mara. Although he’d only met her a few times, he was sure there was something different about her. He tried to decide what it was. Was her face thinner? Was that why her dark eyes now looked larger, her mouth more curving and lush, her cheekbones more defined?
Or was there something different about her expression?
The change was hard to pin down, but he sensed a depth in Chelsea’s young cousin that he’d never been aware of before. He knew these past three months must have been very hard on her. No doubt she’d had to grow up fast.
Whatever it was about Holly that was different, the change seemed to suit her. And she’d clearly done a very good job of looking after his children.
‘I hope you realise how very grateful I am,’ he said. ‘Honestly, the way you’ve taken care of the twins has been amazing. Fantastic. It can’t have been easy—being dumped with everything after … after Chelsea …’
Holly nodded. ‘There have been some grim moments, but each day gets better.’
Gray wondered, somewhat anxiously, about the ‘grim moments’. He sat for a bit in silence, wrapped in worried thoughts as they drank their coffee.
‘How’s your ankle?’ Holly asked politely.
‘Oh, it’s fine.’ He pulled a face, remembering the exasperation of the floods, and then the further frustration of his accident. ‘You have no idea how maddening it was not being able to get here any sooner.’
She let out a soft huff. ‘I’ll admit it wasn’t easy at this end, either, trying to convince Anna and Josh that you were held up all that time by floods.’
‘I’m sorry.’
She shook her head. ‘No, you couldn’t help it, and you did the right thing when you asked me not to tell them about the accident. They’d just lost their mom. They would have been devastated if they’d heard their dad was hurt, too.’
‘I wouldn’t have been much use to them on crutches.’
‘Imagine your journey home,’ Holly agreed, smiling. ‘Twenty-something hours on a plane and trying to manage six-year-old twins while you’re hobbling on a cast.’
‘Exactly.’ Gray sat forward, eager to voice the question that had been plaguing him. ‘So—how do you think Anna and Josh will cope with going back to Australia with me?’
He hoped she would answer with an easygoing shrug and a quick reassurance.
They’ll be fine. They’re over the worst now.
To his dismay, she dropped her gaze to her coffee cup and twisted it in her hands.
His throat tightened uncomfortably. ‘I thought my place—somewhere completely different—might help them. Might be a … a distraction.’
Holly looked up again and, when her dark eyes met his, she was frowning. He saw no hint of reassurance.
He spoke again quickly, needing to strengthen his case. ‘This apartment must hold so many sad memories for the children. Won’t it help them to get away?’
Her mouth opened again as if she was going to reply, but then she hesitated.
Gray’s entire body tensed. ‘You agree, don’t you?’ He forced an awkward shrug. ‘I admit you know my children better than I do. I’d value your opinion.’
She responded with a faint smile. ‘I certainly hope they’ll be fine, but I can’t promise it’s going to be easy, Gray. I’m no expert, but from everything I’ve read—’
‘Everything you’ve read?’ He felt himself tense. As a cattleman who’d always relied on purely practical skills, he was sceptical about the glorified merits of the written word.
Perhaps Holly sensed his doubt. Her cheeks flushed deep pink but, when she spoke, she lifted her chin and her dark eyes narrowed. ‘I’ve never had any first-hand experience of grief, certainly not with helping children who’ve lost a parent. So I consulted a GP who referred me to a psychologist, and I’ve done some reading, too. After all, the books are written by experts.’
The skin on the back of Gray’s neck grew hot. Not quite meeting her gaze, he said, ‘So what did the experts have to say?’
Holly set her coffee mug on the table with exquisite care, as if it were a rare antique. ‘It seems that children who’ve suffered a loss can benefit from a predictable routine and structure. The familiarity of a routine helps them to feel secure.’
A predictable routine.
Structure.
Security.
Gray’s heart sank. Predictability and security were scarce commodities in the Outback. Cattlemen and their families lived at the mercy of the elements, or at the whim of fluctuating