heart was palpitating, too. “It was me? It’s mine?”
“Yes, of course it was you. Who else would it be? I haven’t been with anyone since we were together. Or before that night, either.” Her voice hitched. “I’m five weeks along.”
He drained his glass. Their date had been five weeks ago. “And you’re going to keep it?”
“Yes,” she said again. “I haven’t told my mother and grandma. I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do that yet.”
He nodded numbly. He didn’t know what to do or say. He was forty-two years old and was having a baby with a girl nearly half his age. He didn’t want to tell anyone, either.
Finally he managed, “I’ll give you child support after it’s born. I’ll pay the deductible on your health insurance, too.” Then he stopped to consider the type of job she had. “Do you even have insurance?”
“No, but I’m going to apply for state aide and see if I fall within the guidelines.”
That sounded iffy to him. What if she didn’t qualify? Or only qualified for partial coverage? “I’d rather that you had insurance. Just choose a provider and get some online quotes. Then I’ll pay for the policy.” He would have to dip into the last of his savings to cover it, but at least he still had a little money put away. “I want to be sure that you get consistent care.”
“Thank you. I figured you’d offer to help however you could. You’re a responsible man.”
“Apparently not responsible enough. I feel terrible about being the one who did this to you.”
“We really screwed up, didn’t we? Especially me. Inviting you into my bed and providing an old condom.”
“It’s not your fault any more than it’s mine. But I can’t offer to marry you, Dana. I wish I could create the perfect scenario for you, but how can two people who barely know each other enter into a union like that? We’d be setting ourselves up for a really difficult situation.”
“I know. I thought about that, too. How we hardly know each other. I didn’t expect you to propose to me. Marriage isn’t the answer.”
He looked into the vastness of her eyes. Today they were a panicked shade of blue. He could see how scared she was of going it alone. “You vowed that you would never be a single mother.”
“It’s strange, isn’t it? How life throws challenges at you? How a person’s worst fears can come true.”
It didn’t seem fair, her being put in that position. He wanted to make it better for her, but short of marriage, which they’d just agreed wasn’t the answer, he was at a loss to help her. “I’m so sorry, Dana.”
“I’ll be okay. I’ll do whatever I can to make the best of it. I just need to focus on being a mom.”
Eric had no idea how he was going to focus on being a brand-new dad, especially at this stage of his life. “I’m going to have to figure out a way to tell Kaley, just as you’ll have to tell your family.”
“I’m going to wait a while. I need time to build up to it.”
“Have you told anyone else?”
“Candy knows. She was with me when I took the home pregnancy test. She went to the doctor with me, too.”
Was that going to be his responsibility later? He hoped not. He’d seen far too many doctors and labs and hospitals during Corrine’s treatment. He knew this wasn’t the same thing, but he still didn’t think he could deal with it. “I’m glad Candy went with you.”
She clutched her stomach. “Do you think I’ll make a good mom?”
“Of course you will.” He was glad that she didn’t say anything about him being a good dad. He wasn’t making an emotional commitment to the baby, not like he’d done with Kaley. He feared that he didn’t have it in him to be that kind of father again. Kaley was his heart. This baby was a mistake.
A poor little mistake.
“Candy wants me to keep living here. I want to stay, too. It will be cramped once the baby comes, but it’s a nice safe place. I can make my bedroom into a nursery and sleep in the living room.”
He knew that he should offer to create a nursery at his house, too, so the baby could spend weekends with him, but he couldn’t see himself taking care of an infant again.
He couldn’t see any of this. Although he wanted to do right by Dana, he felt like a zombie, going through the motions.
She said, “I’m going to keep working, of course. I’m going to stay in school, too, but I’m going to take online classes instead so I won’t have to get a babysitter while I’m at school. I’ve been thinking about what you said about me being an interior designer. I might look into that.”
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