consultation,” he said.
“Want to meet here again?”
“Sure,” he said. He had to get away before he suggested they go home together. Suggested he father a child for her. Suggested they get to the real heart of the matter. Uncover the reason this successful woman peered at him with such vulnerability—and why he wanted to cradle her in his arms and protect her.
“I’ll be on time,” she said, and walked away.
He watched her hips sway with each step, and despite his uncomfortable arousal, he felt alive in a way that he hadn’t in years.
The doctor’s office was cold and sterile, even though Monet prints decorated the walls. Nerves and anxious tension settled over her, making her stomach roil. Today was just a preliminary examination, but on her next visit she’d be inseminated. God, she was excited and scared. She was so close to her dream come true.
It was impossible to feel comfortable when you were perched on the edge of a padded table in a paper robe. She glanced around the room, and her gaze fell on the cutaway diagram of a woman’s internal organs. Ugh, she didn’t need to see what was in there, as long as they worked the way they should.
Lately she’d had doubts about the process, about whether this decision was the right one, especially after meeting Reese Howard a week ago. Never before had she felt an instant attraction to a man. In fact, she’d believed lust at first sight was a myth.
But something about Reese’s midnight eyes had cut straight to her soul. He’d seen past the excuses she’d given everyone else about wanting a baby and forced her to reveal…the heart.
He’d demanded it and she’d given it willingly. He was a dangerous man—for her. He asked for things that she’d always wanted to give, answers no one else had been willing to hear. Talking with him had been a joy, really a joy. To share herself and not see that glazed-over look in his eyes had shown her that there was more to men than she’d believed.
Stop thinking about him!
She gazed at a poster of the growth stages of a fetus. Sabrina studied the drawings and her fears started to evaporate. Soon she’d cradle life in her womb. Soon she’d be a part of history, not the written-down kind that was told and retold, but the living kind. The part that survived in spite of politics and social trends. The honest part of life that continued no matter what.
Her doctor entered and after a quick exam told her to change and come into his office. She knew why. There was a lot of insurance paperwork to be done. She dressed quickly and wondered if Reese would be waiting for her. Of course, she knew they’d already planned to meet across the street, but would he show up?
She’d dreamed about him last night, and it had been years since any “real” man had played a part in her dreams. Hollywood heartthrobs had drifted in and out of her dreamscape, but never a man she knew. Reese Howard hadn’t drifted quietly through her imagination. He’d forced his way in and taken over completely.
She met Dr. Hyde in his office and filled out the final paperwork. He talked to her again about the process and allayed a few of her fears about what information he’d be giving the magazine. Her medical history was her own, and there was information she didn’t want to share. Past mistakes that would bring into question her current decision.
She left his office and hurried across the street. Though it was summer, a cool breeze filled the air, and she tugged her lightweight sweater closer to her body. Quelling the excitement pulsing through her veins, she reminded herself that Reese Howard wouldn’t be in her life if she hadn’t decided to go to a sperm bank.
He was waiting at the same patio table where they’d sat last time. He wore an aviator-style leather jacket and faded jeans.
“Late again,” he said.
Smiling ruefully, she nodded. Punctuality was her cross to bear. She never made it anywhere on time no matter how hard she tried. She’d even set her watch fifteen minutes early for a few months, but that hadn’t helped. So she’d stopped wearing one altogether.
He stood and pulled out her chair. The smells of the wind and the sea clung to him. She wanted to somehow get closer to him. To sit on his lap and tell him all her fears and secrets, which she couldn’t do.
Because he was going to record her secrets and then tell them to the world. You agreed to this, she reminded herself. Taking a deep breath, she willed away the nervous butterflies, the doubts pounding her like the endless cycle of the waves against the shore, eroding slowly what nature had created at the beginning of time.
Was she fit to be a mother?
He sat with his back to the bay this time, and his sunglasses lay on the table next to his notepad. He didn’t look like a reporter, she thought.
“Sorry about being late, again. But Dr. Hyde needed me to fill out a few extra forms this visit.”
“For insurance.”
“Yes,” she said. A waiter approached and Sabrina ordered herbal tea before Reese could order for her. He lifted one eyebrow in question, but she ignored him. The waiter left and she toyed with the ring her parents had given her on her twenty-fifth birthday. A pretty emerald heart set in white gold.
“You seem a little pale,” he said.
Damn, she’d hoped he wouldn’t notice. “Must be from ordering for myself. All the pressure.”
His mouth crinkled, and she thought he’d laugh but he didn’t. “Next time I’ll order for you.”
She’d always enjoyed banter, and now she’d found a safe partner to do it with. And the escape she’d been seeking from her own doubts. “That’s okay, I think I better start getting used to it. After all, I’m almost thirty.”
He paused, leaned across the table and gestured for her to come closer. She did.
“It might be too late to teach an old dog a new trick,” he said softly.
“Who are you calling an old dog?” she demanded.
He laughed out loud this time, and she’d never seen anything more beautiful. Laughter actually changed this man’s visage from almost uncivilized to enchanting.
He shrugged. “No one. It’s a saying.”
“Not a nice one,” she said. But she wasn’t offended. He’d made her forget her worries for a few minutes. It wasn’t her hopes for a baby that woke her up nights in a sweat, but her past. The agreement she’d made with the magazine that sometimes she wished she hadn’t.
“So…” He leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms over his well-developed chest and waited.
“So?”
“Why are you pale? Having second thoughts?”
She should have known he’d come back to the heart of the matter. He wasn’t the type to give up. Why couldn’t he be? This interview process would be so much better if she’d been able to control the reporter. If he’d been the kind of guy she could distract with her legs or a bit of cleavage. Okay, that wasn’t the best way to operate, but it worked. Men usually were easily distracted by her looks, but not this guy.
His gaze probed hers, and irrationally she thought he might have read her thoughts. Might have ascertained that she’d been thinking of lying. Don’t lie, she thought. Honesty is always better, even when it’s painful.
“Second and third and fourth thoughts,” she said.
“And?”
“It always comes back to wanting a baby more than anything else.”
“Anything?”
She felt his gaze slip over her body and her nerve endings tingled. No, there were other things she wanted. But the baby was the safest thing to discuss with him.
“Yes,” she said, and the word sounded weak to her