sensation akin to fear ran through him. “Okay then. Hop in. I’m on my way to see Liv. I can drop you off on the way.” He tried to sound friendly but everything about her put him in a panic. It was so claustrophobic with her sitting beside him in the car. He had the weird notion he was going to suffocate. He swallowed on a parched throat—it seemed like his saliva glands had dried up—glanced at her, paying attention to her pallor. “What is it, Megan?”
Her voice was barely audible. “I’m over,” she said.
He was so frantic he laughed. “Over what?”
“Two months.” Now she began to cry, red blotches appearing almost instantly on her cheeks and the tip of her nose. “I’m pregnant, Jason. I’m sick all the time.” Her voice rose to near hysteria. “It’s yours, Jason. Your baby. I was a virgin.”
Most of the guys thought she was. “Don’t do this to me! Are you sure, Megan?” he groaned, realizing with shock he had trembling hands. “It was only one time. I don’t even remember it. I’ve never been so drunk in my life. Oh, why talk about it! Have you seen a doctor?” he asked, feeling desperately ill himself.
“In this town?” Piteously Megan wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Besides, I had to tell you first, Jason. You’re the father. I’ve never been with anyone else.”
“Oh, Megan!” He slammed a fist into his knee, blazing with shame. “How did we let this happen?”
“I’m sorry, Jason,” Megan said feebly. “But you overpowered me. You’re so big and strong. It was near enough to rape but nothing would ever make me tell anyone else that.”
For all her cowered attitude suddenly that sounded like a threat. He trod on the brakes, bringing the car to a halt alongside the kerb. “No, Megan.” He fixed her with a searing stare. “I may have been all sorts of a fool, but I know I would never have forced you—that’s not my style. You’re entitled to be very upset but you must have given me some sort of encouragement?”
Very gently she touched his arm even though he visibly flinched. “You said it yourself, Jason. You were very drunk.” She stared at him, tears welling into her hazel eyes and slipping down her pale cheeks. “I’m so frightened. My father will kill me when he finds out. I’ve never been with anyone else, Jason. Couldn’t you tell? There was blood on the sheets.”
He recoiled. “I saw no blood.”
“You weren’t looking,” she pointed out mournfully. “I had to get you painkillers for your hangover. You were still sick the next day—almost out of it. Do you think I wanted this to happen, Jason? It was a terrible mistake. Olivia is my friend—she’s been so kind to me. She’s never looked down on us Duffys. Mum thinks Olivia’s a real lady. She’s always going on about it like I’m a slut, which you know more than anyone I’m not. This has been a dreadful shock for me, too. You’ve no idea how hard it’s been trying to keep myself together, locking myself into the bathroom. Mum asked me this morning if I had something to tell her. I think she knows.”
“That you’re pregnant?” Jason moved his eyes to her flat stomach.
“Yes,” she said, miserably. “I know what you’re thinking, Jason. You hate me.”
He rested his arms on the steering wheel, burying his face. He didn’t think he would ever smile again. “I don’t hate you, Megan. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine.”
“So what are we going to do?”
Jason groaned in anguish wanting to shut the whole world out. He even had the sensation the blazing sun had disappeared. Where would he be without his beloved Liv? He might as well be dead. There was a taste like metal in his mouth, but he straightened up. “I’ll take care of you, Megan,” he promised. “This is my child, too. My responsibility. I always knew in my heart life didn’t promise me any rose-garden.”
Liv was a beautiful dream. Hadn’t he always had the feeling she was much too good for him.
Megan looked like she was about to reach out to him, but Jason backed right up against the car door, wanting to smash the window out. “Olivia loves you,” she said, her voice so tight the words might have been stuck in her throat.
“She’ll find someone else,” Jason muttered, thinking life for him was all over. Someone who deserves her.
Gradually Jason’s rage receded as pity gripped him. Megan was so small and desperate and her father, Jack Duffy was a brute of a man. A drunk and a failure, Jason could well imagine him being very tough on his daughter. Megan needed his support and so did the baby growing inside her. That baby was his. In the final analysis the baby was the one who mattered. Abandoned by his own father, Jason felt he had no other option but to front up to his responsibilities. “Our child deserves a future, Megan,” he said. “I’m not running away.”
An hour later he had sufficient control of himself to face Olivia. She ran down Havilah’s grand staircase to greet him, her long silky black hair flying behind her like a pennant in a breeze. So beautiful, so slender, so graceful, her smile so radiant it tore the heart out of him. He would never, until his dying day, get over Liv. Or cease missing her. “More presents have been arriving,” she said excitedly, lifting her face for his kiss.
Instead he drew her into the hollow of his shoulder. He had no right to kiss her anymore. He had forfeited that. “I have to talk to you, Liv,” he said, his voice conveying the raw intensity of his feelings. “Can we please go outside, take a walk.”
“Of course, darling.” She slipped her arm around his waist. “What’s the matter?” Love for him surged inside her, then a flash of naked fear. His handsome face was a mask of pain.
The only way to tell her was head-on. “I have bad news, Liv.” He led her out onto the colonnaded front terrace.
“It’s not your mother?” Olivia’s beautiful light grey eyes were full of concern. Antonella Corey didn’t keep good health.
“It’s not Mama.” Jason shook his head. “She’s okay.” But not for long. His mother would be devastated. His grandmother would go ballistic. “It’s something else. Let’s walk in the garden.”
“You’re frightening me, Jason.” She tucked her arm through his, staring at his resolute profile, the grimness of the strong jawline.
“I’m more sorry than I can possibly say.” Even then he couldn’t begin to calculate the full extent of the pain.
She shook his arm. “Jason, about what?” Olivia’s mind was racing. When she’d last spoken to Jason, only a few hours ago, he’d been on top of the world. Now he looked utterly desolate. Even his golden tan was bleached by emotion.
Jason paused beside the archway of pillar roses, staring at the roses without even seeing them. They had been brought to perfection for the wedding. The entire length of the archway was hung with cascading clusters of gorgeous blush pink double flowers with a wonderful fragrance. “I don’t know how to tell you this, Liv,” he began. “It’s the worst thing I’ve ever had to say in my life. But I can’t marry you.”
She stared up at him blankly. Then she shook her head slightly as if to clear it. “Jason, darling, you’re not making any sense. You’re marrying me tomorrow. I love you. You love me.”
“I can’t marry you, Liv.” Grief was overflowing inside him. He raised his hand as if to stroke her cheek. Let it drop. “Months ago I did something crazy. Unforgivable.”
Olivia clasped her hands together prayerfully. “Tell me,” she urged, apprehension invading her black fringed luminous eyes.
“I love you, Liv,” he muttered. He felt like he was dying. “I love you more than life itself. I always knew I didn’t deserve you.”
“You do. You do! What are you talking about?” Olivia grasped the front of his shirt, clinging on.
“Megan Duffy came to