asked.
“What are you talking about?”
Beck glanced at Cady, who met his eyes and gave him that quick, sunburst smile that always jump-started his heart.
“According to her social media posts, she’s ditching school and spending the next year traveling with you.”
What the hell...?
“She’s going back to school,” Beck said, forcing the words up his tight throat.
“Uh...not according to Sage, who follows both of you on social media. It was girl speak...something about her loving you enough to continue traveling with you.”
A large bead of sweat rolled down his temple and into his heavy stubble. A loud bell clanged in his ears, and his stomach felt like it had taken a ride on a death-defying roller coaster.
That wasn’t the plan. He needed them to stick to the plan.
“That’s not happening.” He managed, through his panic, to push the words out.
“Look,” Jaeger said, impatient, “I’ve got more important things to do than talk about your love life. Just let me know about ruby-hunting in Yen Bai.”
Using his phone, Beck pulled up her social media account and yep, Cady had posted something about not returning to college and extending her trip with him.
Beck pocketed his phone and gripped the railing separating him from the floor-to-ceiling windows. He dropped his head and stared at his grubby boots. Fear, hot and acidic, burned a ring of fire around his heart, up his throat and coated his mouth in a bitter film.
She was supposed to be a three-month fling. This wasn’t supposed to get this intense, this quickly. He’d been banking on her going home, heading back to college. Her leaving had been his safety net, the way he stopped himself from falling all the way in love with her. If she stayed with him, he doubted he could resist her and then he’d be up crap creek in a sinking canoe.
He wasn’t prepared to go there. If he loved her and lost her...
Hell, no. Not happening.
Why hadn’t she spoken to him first before blabbing online? He knew that her choosing him over her parents was her way of making a statement but hell, hers wasn’t the only seat on this train. He had a right to decide whether he wanted to keep traveling with her. He couldn’t bear to see her go but he couldn’t risk his heart by her staying.
Devil, meet the deep blue sea.
The only rational option, his instinctive reaction, was to stick to the plan they’d decided on back in New York. She needed to go home, go back to college and he’d see her at Christmas. The only deviation he was prepared to make to that plan was to send her home as quickly as possible. They were in an airport and that could be accomplished right now.
Because if he didn’t walk away today, he knew that he never would.
His decision made, Beck walked over to her and picked up his backpack with one hand and grabbed hers with another.
Cady pulled out the earbuds and slung her smaller backpack over her shoulder as she stood up. “What’s up?”
When Beck gestured to the familiar logo of an American carrier at the neighboring gate, her eyes flashed with joy. “Oh, my God, we’re going home?” she squealed, dancing on the spot.
He just looked at her, wanting her to understand without having to say the words. After a little confused silence, the light faded from her eyes and color leached from her face. “You’re not coming with me?”
Beck shook his head.
He dropped the backpacks at his feet and slapped his hands on his hips. It took him a while to find the words he needed. “Jaeger wants me to meet him in Vietnam to look for rubies with him, and you can’t come with, and I can’t leave you on your own.”
Cady’s bottom lip trembled and she rocked on her heels, looking like he’d sideswiped her with a stick, but he continued. “It’s only two weeks early, Cady, and it’s not like you were enjoying yourself.”
“I love spending time with you! In fact, I had just decided that I want to stay, to ignore my folks’ disapproval, to get into the hang of this. I want to be with—”
Beck jumped in before she could finish that sentence. “You’re going back to school, Cady. That was always the plan. I’m just sending you home two weeks early.”
Cady took a step back and her eyes filled with tears. “You’re sending me home?”
Oh, damn, bad choice of words. “I’ll be home for Christmas. We can reevaluate then.”
“You’re sending me home?” Cady repeated his words, emphasizing each one.
“Christmas is in three months—”
Cady’s lips firmed and she folded her arms across her torso. “Do you love me, Beck?” she demanded.
Ah, no. Not this question. He could love her, he silently admitted, and that was why she needed to go back to the States. Falling in love with Cady, with anyone, wasn’t something he was prepared to do.
When he didn’t answer, Cady grabbed his arm, her nails digging into his skin.
Beck jerked his arm away and forced himself to meet her eyes. Oh, damn, he wished he hadn’t because, as long as he lived, he’d remember the betrayal he saw within them, the pain he’d caused. Cady lifted her hand to grab the fabric of his shirt just above his heart, twisting it in her fist. “Don’t do this, Beck. Don’t throw us away, don’t toss me aside. We can fix this.”
“That’s the thing, Cades, I can’t be fixed.”
It was a special type of hell, Beck thought, to watch a heart break. It was even worse when you were responsible for it breaking.
Almost a decade later
Sitting at one of the many high tables in Bonnets, a swish cocktail bar just off Fifth Avenue, Cady Collins had to physically stop herself from appropriating the massive salt-rimmed margarita delivered to the table next to her. The taste buds on the back of her tongue tingled as she imagined the perfect combination of salt and the sugar-tinged tang of tequila.
It had been a tequila type of day and week. Year.
The waiter turned to her, lifted an eyebrow at her empty glass. “Another virgin Bloody Mary?”
God, Friday night and she was in the most reviewed cocktail bar in the city—the joke was that Bonnets had the license to serve cocktails to the angels—and she was drinking tomato juice.
How sad.
Cady saw the screen of her phone light up, saw the display say The Boss and sighed as she lifted the device to her ear. “Hi, Mom.”
“Cady, where are you?” Edna Collins asked in her best I’m-the-preacher’s-wife voice.
Cady resisted the urge to tell her that she was in a bar tucking dollar bills into the tiny thong of a muscled, oiled male stripper. You’re an adult. You don’t need to try to shock your parents anymore.
“What’s the matter, Mom?”
Edna called her at precisely 8:00 p.m. every second Sunday. A call outside that time meant that something had rattled The Force.
“You might have heard that the preacher at our sister church in Wilton is retiring and the church has been looking for a suitable replacement.”
Not really. She didn’t keep up with what was happening in the exciting world of church politics in upstate New York.
Cady sent another look at the icy margarita and felt her mouth tingle. One little sip... How much damage could one sip do?