past the hard parts without rejection. She seemed to take in every word he said with complete empathy.
“Mom was rambling at the end somewhat, and this could easily be the wishful thinking of a dying woman. I know wishful thinking is more my companion every day, but even I know how implausible this sounds.”
“I’m sure you and Marissa have run through both sides of your family tree for possibilities?”
“Of course.”
Carolyn held his gaze for a second before looking at her notes. He had the feeling she was deep in thought. Her green eyes were alert, her posture erect. She’d always had a curvaceous, knock-out body, but the coral suit she wore gave her a professional demeanor. He liked the fact that the body he remembered so well was hidden beneath a jacket, knee-length skirt and gauzy blouse—a secret he would have preferred to keep his alone.
Pushing back auburn-tinted, rich brown hair, Carolyn met his gaze again. His heart stilled as he realized she was about to pronounce the time, dollars and energy this search would require.
“Ben, there are records which can be searched easily enough to get us started. It is true that long-lost relatives have been found as a result of searches by loved ones who suspect exactly what your mother did. But the outcome is a long shot, and I’m sure you know that.”
He nodded.
“Still, it’s not unthinkable.”
“You’ll do it, then?” The relief that swept through him was a crashing ocean wave flinging him onto a beach of hope.
“I’ll present your case file to Lily and Dylan Garrett. They’re better equipped to assist you. Lily has experience as a forensics expert for the FBI, and Dylan worked as an undercover detective. Actually, he was instrumental in breaking that baby-selling ring last spring. We’ve also started to refer cases to Budnicki-Morales Private Investigations in Midland-Odessa. Jennifer Rodriguez works there, and she is top-notch at locating missing persons.”
“While I appreciate your advice to put my case in experienced hands, you said yourself that records could be easily searched to start the ball rolling. That’s something you can do yourself, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “Yes, but—”
“Where are the Garretts right now?”
Her expressive emerald eyes widened. “Lily is getting married, so she’s tied up with wedding details, and Dylan is out of town handling some of her caseload.”
“So, they’re otherwise occupied and not likely to give top priority to this case.”
“The Garretts are thorough in their attention—”
“I know. My point is that my daughter is very ill with acute lymphocytic leukemia. I don’t have the luxury of time. You said yourself the research process could easily be started. In fact, I’m here because of Carolyn St. Clair, not the Garretts. I trust you, and I know you well enough to know that you’ll use all your energy to tear into the facts like a tenacious bull, Carolyn.”
“Thanks, I think,” she murmured.
He reached to touch her chin with his finger, so that she’d meet his eyes. “I need you for this, Carolyn. Mom sent me here with her last breath, to find you and ask you for your help. She knew you loved her…knew you’d fall in love with Lucy.”
Knew you’d loved me. He didn’t say it, but the words hung between them, implied and poignant. For whatever reason she’d left him—and that was a mystery he’d never unlock now—he knew in his heart that when Carolyn St. Clair loved someone, she loved with all her soul.
He was counting on that for Lucy.
CHAPTER TWO
WHEN BEN LOOKED at her like that, with his eyes full of hope that she’d say yes, Carolyn put her personal reservations aside for the moment. “Tell me everything your mother told you. Anything you can remember she said before she died.”
“The doctor who delivered me was Douglas Benton. He worked with his wife, Vivian—she assisted him in a midwife capacity.”
“Your mother didn’t go to a hospital?”
“No. For one thing, she was from tough country stock. Her mother’s children were born at home, and Mom didn’t know there was another way to do it. Also, she and Dad simply didn’t have the cash to go to a hospital. Remember, back then a person paid medical bills out of their own pocket. Ironically, Dad had gone to market to sell some crops, hoping to have enough money for whatever they needed when I was born.” He withdrew a photo from his wallet of a smiling family: a tall man in an ill-fitting suit, a woman holding a blanket-wrapped baby in her arms.
Carolyn felt chills sweep her. “So if your mom hadn’t come out of the anesthetic early, she might never have thought there was another living child.”
He shook his head. “If I really do have a brother, it’s a miracle that we know to start looking for him. At the same time, I don’t want to get my hopes up. Why did Mom never remember this before? That’s what I keep coming back to.”
“I had surgery once for something minor,” she said, not meeting his eyes and not about to tell him her deepest, darkest secret, “and I was very groggy when I awakened. I was also more nauseated than I’d ever been in my life. To be honest, I was focused on the pain I’d begun to feel and not my surroundings.”
“Maybe that’s what Mom experienced. Anyway, being in the hospital seemed to make Mom want to talk about her life. I never knew as much about my mother as I did during those days before she died. I wish I’d tape-recorded it for Lucy’s sake, because I can’t possibly remember everything she said.”
Carolyn smiled. “You sound like it was a good experience for you.”
“It was. I could tell she’d made her peace with her situation, and that she wasn’t afraid of—“ He took a deep breath. “And that made me not afraid. But then all of a sudden, she became noticeably weaker. She began talking about my brother, and it was as if she couldn’t…let herself die until she’d relived those moments of her delivery. I saw her turn into a frightened young girl who was upset that her baby was coming when her husband, her most trusted friend and provider, was out of town. Her parents weren’t close enough to make it in time. She was young, alone, afraid.”
“Possibly a ripe target for a baby ring, if that is indeed what happened.”
“Maybe so. She was vulnerable, that’s for sure. And there were no witnesses, except for the doctor’s wife, and she’s not going to want to tell us anything, if there is something to tell.”
“Did you happen to look through Eileen’s records when she was in the hospital? Usually they’re close at hand with the nurses.”
He shook his head. “I never even thought to look at her chart. How would that have helped?”
“Probably it wouldn’t have. But I would have been curious to know if your mother continued to see Dr. Benton after your birth.”
“I don’t think she did. Otherwise I would have remembered him. Her oncologist is Dr. Tristan Collins. I can’t say I liked him very well. He was overconfident and young. Perhaps if I’d met him under different circumstances… Actually, I believe I was put off by the fact that he was so young. The nurses were smitten with him, and so was Mom. She kind of glowed whenever he came into the room.” He smiled wryly. “I wanted a grizzled, mature doctor like the ones you see on television to miraculously heal my mother.”
Carolyn lowered her eyes for a second. “I’m so sorry, Ben.”
“Oh, I was just mad at the world, I guess. Dr. Collins has an excellent medical record, and he made my mom happy because he didn’t treat her as if she were sickly and fragile, which she was. He treated her as if she were still vibrant and beautiful, which was exactly