Jennifer Snow

Fighting for Keeps


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bad are they hurt?” She didn’t recognize her own voice as she asked the question.

      “Lindsay...”

      “How bad!”

      His gaze and shoulders dropped simultaneously. “We were first on scene. There was nothing we could do for Nathan.”

      Her chest tightened and she couldn’t catch a breath as the room spun around her. What exactly was he saying?

      “Paramedics confirmed time of death when they arrived,” he said gently. “I’m so sorry, Lindsay.”

      “Here...sit,” Kimberly-Ann said as she took her arm and they tried to help her to a chair.

      She fought them. “What about Rachel? Where are the kids?” Her stomach turned and she swallowed to keep from vomiting.

      “The kids weren’t in the van.”

      A sob of relief escaped her and her hand flew to her mouth.

      Noah hesitated, casting a glance toward Kimberly-Ann before saying, “Rachel is in critical condition. It doesn’t look good...” His hands were rubbing her arms, but she felt nothing.

      His voice faded as her mind reeled. Nathan—dead? Rachel—critical? How? How was it possible that this could happen? She’d seen them two days ago...

      The kids... Thank God they hadn’t been in the vehicle. She dove for the trash can behind the ER desk, emptying the contents of her stomach.

      Noah was bent at her side as she fought to catch her breath. “How...how...what...I need to...”

      “Just breathe...” He glanced at Kimberly-Ann. “Is there something we can get her?”

      “I need...to...to see Nathan.” She stood and tried to move past him. Nathan couldn’t be dead. That was ridiculous... He had five children...five small children. Another sob escaped her. “I need to go in there...”

      Noah wrapped his arms around her tightly and pulled her against him on the floor. “Not yet,” he whispered.

      She clutched the fabric of his jacket and buried her face in his chest as her tears soaked the front of his shirt. “I need to see him.”

      He hugged her tighter. “I’m so sorry, Lindsay. There’s nothing you can do for him.”

      * * *

      LINDSAY CLIMBED THE stairs to the living quarters of the B and B three hours later. The house was silent in the 3:00 a.m. darkness, the only light escaping beneath the bedroom door of the nursery, where she knew the twins’ butterfly night-light provided the toddlers a sense of comfort while they slept.

      Her eyes were heavy and her legs were cement blocks as she walked down the hallway toward the room that had been Rachel and Nathan’s. A room they would no longer sleep in...

      Rachel had passed away an hour ago. Her struggle to survive the heavy brain trauma she’d suffered in the accident had been a fight she couldn’t win, and her soul had joined her husband’s.

      Opening the bedroom door, she stepped inside and her legs immediately gave way beneath her.

      They were gone. No matter how many times the thought crushed her, she couldn’t believe it. She’d witnessed the coming and passing of life so many times as a nurse, but this loss was beyond her comprehension.

      They were so young. They were so in love. They had five precious children who needed their parents.

      A sob choked her as she lay on the hardwood floor and pulled her knees to her chest. Her shoulders trembled violently as tears pooled on the floor beneath her.

      She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and wake up to find this was all just a nightmare. That her brother and sister-in-law were fine.

      But the cold truth remained. In three hours the sun would come up and she would have to tell the children their parents wouldn’t be coming home.

      * * *

      THE AIR WAS cool as Noah headed away from the bed-and-breakfast after first driving Lindsay home to collect her things. She hadn’t even put up a fight about handing over the keys to her Jeep and allowing him to drive. She’d mumbled, “The B and B,” when he’d asked her where she wanted him to take her and then she’d been silent on the short drive there.

      Torn between wanting to give her space and to comfort her, provide a safe place for her to grieve, he’d driven slowly and quietly, leaving her alone with her tumultuous thoughts.

      He knew loss. It created a hole that couldn’t be filled with kind words or warm hugs. She had to learn how to deal with this her own way, to find her own coping mechanisms to face the days ahead.

      Big raindrops started to hit the ground in front of him as he walked. He shivered in the fog. In the distance the town clock bells rang three times. He quickened his pace as he rounded the corner to the street, heading toward the fire hall.

      In four hours his shift would be over and he’d head back to the B and B where he intended to be whenever he was needed and not too far from when he wasn’t.

      Lindsay wouldn’t be alone.

      * * *

      LUKE FORCED A steaming cup of tea into Lindsay’s trembling hands early the next morning before joining his wife on the sofa across from her in the B and B’s living room.

      Victoria had yet to speak a word without sobbing, so she sat quietly, numb from shock as tears flowed down her cheeks.

      “Try to drink this,” Luke said, handing another cup to his wife.

      She knew he was as tormented as they were, but Luke had adopted the role no one else could handle that morning. He was being the strong one, doing what needed to be done, including telling the three oldest children. They’d decided to let the babies sleep, unsure how much the toddlers would understand.

      With both of Rachel’s parents already deceased, and Nathan and Lindsay’s parents in Phoenix, the three of them did their best to deal with a situation no one ever wanted to find themselves in.

      “It’s been an hour and they haven’t come out of there,” Lindsay whispered, her eyes filling instantly with new tears as she glanced up the stairs to Melissa’s room, where the little girl had locked herself and her five-year-old brothers inside. Hopelessness was by far the worst of the emotions competing within her, she decided.

      “Give them some time...they are going to need each other through this,” Luke said, turning away quickly and covering his eyes.

      The sight of his strength finally wavering reduced both women to even more of a mess.

      Quickly pulling himself together, Luke cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. “I’ll go get the girls,” he said, taking the stairs two at a time.

      Lindsay set the cup aside and forced several deep breaths.

      “I can’t believe this is actually happening,” Victoria said, her voice sounding far away.

      “I know.” Nothing about the past eight hours felt real. There was so much to be done, yet she didn’t think she had the strength to stand, let alone make funeral arrangements and contact the remaining family and friends.

      Luke had also taken care of calling her parents, who’d booked seats on a plane to Newark that day. She supposed she would have to go pick them up.

      The front door to the B and B opened, but neither woman looked up. The idea of a guest arriving to check in hadn’t occurred to Lindsay.

      Life didn’t go on after a tragedy like this, did it?

      “Hi,” Noah said, walking in. He gave her shoulder a squeeze, but she barely felt it. “I wanted to stop by...see if there was anything I could do.”

      She cleared her throat and forced her voice not to break as she said, “No, I don’t think so.” The problem