sorry,” she sobbed, tears making it hard to speak as she walked away. “I just can’t do this. Not again. What we had didn’t work, Luke, and we both need to understand that.”
All Olivia had ever wanted was a family of her own, a husband who loved her, but that fantasy was past its use-by date. It was just her and Charlie, and she couldn’t let Luke thunder back into their lives like a tornado. Charlie needed a father who hung around, or was at least a whole lot better at staying in touch when he wasn’t.
“Olivia.”
She heard Luke say her name, but she didn’t want to turn around.
“Olivia, please.”
But there were no words he could say right now to change how she felt.
CHAPTER FOUR
OLLIE’S CHEEKS HURT. She could hear her own laughter echoing around them as Luke twirled her, over and over again.
“Stop!”
He drew her in, hard against him, his muscled body tight against hers.
“Say you love me.”
“Luke, let go of me!” She squirmed in his arms.
“Say it, baby, or I’ll toss you in the water.”
He lifted her off her feet so only her toes trailed on the sand, and started walking her toward the ocean.
“I love you, I love you!” she cried, her arms around his neck.
“Too late.”
She started to tell him off, to swat at him, but he dropped her into the water, diving in himself. Her hair was plastered to her face, mascara dripped into her eyes, but she still couldn’t stop smiling.
He resurfaced. “Come here often?”
Luke lay next to her, half floating on his stomach, and pushed his hair off his face. Water fell from his dark lashes, and she felt herself fall apart. Those brown eyes looked straight through her, past her insecurities and worries, straight into her heart.
“Look what you’ve done to me.” She giggled, rubbing beneath her eyes. “I’m a mess.”
“You,” he said, kissing her nose, “are—” another kiss “—not a mess.”
She kissed him back then, their wet lips pressed together, her hands in his hair.
“I do love you, Luke.”
“I know, honey, I know.”
Ollie woke with a fright. It was just a dream. She wanted to cry, sob her heart out, because here she was, dreaming about the man she’d fallen head over heels in love with, the only man she’d ever loved, who was so close yet so far away. Her own husband, in the spare room, so near that she could wake him just by thudding on the wall. But not the same man he’d been back then.
Her heart stilled, but she was rattled. It was always the same dream. The day she’d gotten pregnant, the one time they hadn’t used protection. The same day she’d decided that Luke was the man of her dreams, before everything had slowly started to unravel.
A gentle tap made her stare at the door. Charlie would never knock; he would just come marching on in.
Ollie slipped out of bed and pulled on her robe, checking to see she had everything covered. She took a deep breath before opening the door.
“Hey.” It was Luke. Who else had she expected?
“Hey,” she whispered back.
She didn’t know if it was the dream or just the time of night, but she couldn’t take her eyes from his face. His hair, his lips, the stubble on his jaw. Just like he used to look. Yet somehow even better.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
Her eyebrows knotted. Why wouldn’t she be okay? It was the middle of the night. “Ah, sure, I’m fine.”
Luke looked uncomfortable. “It’s just, I heard you calling out. Must have been a dream.”
This time it was Ollie who was uncomfortable. Her stomach churned as if she’d eaten something bad. “Mmm,” she mumbled, “must have.”
“Okay, well, I’ll, uh, head back to bed then.”
Ollie watched him, her embarrassment starting to fade. There had been a time when she would have told Luke anything, had thought they would be in love and happy forever. And looking at him now, she almost felt they had gone back. Gone back to when they were dating, to the early days of her pregnancy, before they’d realized that maybe they’d rushed into marriage, that things weren’t so easy with a newborn baby. That they hadn’t talked through their pasts or their problems enough, before making such a massive commitment to one another.
She took in the pajama bottoms, the bare chest, the trail of hair that skewered from his belly button as he turned back to face her. He was standing there, just looking at her, not moving.
“Ollie …” His voice trailed off.
“Yes?” She waited expectantly, desperate for him to say something, anything.
His swift movement took her by surprise. She gasped, eyes locked on his as he pulled her tight against him, pressed his lips hard onto hers. She knew she was rigid, fought it, but as she softened into him, melted into his arms, he, too, softened the kiss. Moved his lips over hers so delicately that she thought her legs would buckle.
It was over too quick. He pulled away and took a step back, his eyes tracing her face, looking for an answer.
“I never stopped thinking about you, Ollie,” he said, his voice low and husky. “I never, ever stopped wondering how the hell things had gone so wrong. How I’d managed to wreck what we had, and wished we could just go back in time.”
She stood there, mute, hand raised to her lips. What could she say to that? He’d sure had a bad way of showing how he felt.
“Luke, I …”
“No.” He said the word firmly. “Don’t say anything. Just promise you won’t give up on us, not yet. Let’s give it one more go. I might not deserve it, but let me try to make it up to you, Ollie.”
Olivia stayed still. She didn’t know what to say, anyway. She loved the memory of him, loved the look of the man standing in front of her, but she didn’t know if she actually loved him now or not. Didn’t know if she could ever truly forgive him, or trust him not to leave her. Did he still want her, or was it just for Charlie’s sake that he wanted to try again?
“I’m going to make you trust me, but first you have to say you’ll give me a chance.”
“Luke, I already have the divorce papers.”
“Give me a month, Ollie, or two. After that, I’ll sign the papers.” The look on his face told her he was being honest, that he genuinely believed it was worth trying. “I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I know things ended badly between us, but we’re married and we have a son. That counts for something. I know it and you know it.”
She bit down on her bottom lip, eyes on him. He was staring at her with that deep, brooding look. The sort of look she hadn’t seen on his face other than the day Charlie had been born.
“There’s something about being back here that makes me think we could be a family. For real.”
“You will actually be here for a whole month?” she asked.
He’d never said how long he was back for, never said when he’d be needed again. She didn’t know anything other than he was “off