hit just as hard.
The flashbacks happened less often. At first, he’d had them even in the daytime, triggered by sudden noises or quick movements—even smells. In crowds, he’d start sweating and shaking, his heart beating so fast he thought he might black out.
The doctor he’d seen when his leg flared had prescribed an anti-anxiety med, but Noah wasn’t willing to fog his brain any more than it already was. He coped day-to-day. Small spaces and dark rooms still sent his pulse pounding, but he could fight it off better every day that passed.
“So you’re bartending now?” Paul was clearly trying to hide his bafflement.
“Here, yeah. In Denver, I sold newspaper ads. I washed cars in Sacramento, parked them in Vegas. Whatever got me grocery money.”
“But no reporting?”
“Soon, I hope.” Besides, needing time for his brain to heal, he’d needed some soul-searching about the grievous harm his single-minded drive for copy-inches had caused. The thought sent a wash of shame through him. It always would. Steady, man. “How’s the family?” He dispensed seltzer over ice from the gun to wet his dry throat.
“Great. Cindi’s pregnant again. Surprise! Never take birth control for granted, bro.” He gave a sheepish smile. “It’s wild this time. She’s had morning sickness from day one and Princess Emma, three-and-a-half going on fifteen, has started acting out big-time.”
“Of course. Her kingdom’s under siege.” Jesus. Another kid to raise and worry about and send to college. “But you two were born to be parents.”
“No one is, trust me. It’s on-the-job training. Day one, they let you walk out of the hospital with this innocent being who depends on you for everything. You’ll see.”
“You know me better than that.” He couldn’t imagine a less-likely fate.
“One day, you’ll get your gills caught in some poor girl’s net and she won’t have the sense to toss you back.” He was joking like the old days, but his tone was faint. He was clearly disturbed by Noah’s condition, which made Noah realize he maybe wasn’t as improved as he’d imagined.
“You’re catching me on a bad day. I’m in good shape. In fact, I’m headed to Phoenix to help my grandmother get moved. I need a job if you know of anything.”
“Yeah? I bet I could get you on as an adjunct professor.”
“I’m the last person you want teaching J school.”
“It would be a coup to have you.” Paul stopped as though sensing Noah’s resistance, and because he was a good friend, letting it go. “Public affairs needs writers for the web, I think. I’ll check the in-house postings. Where will you stay?”
“Camping at my grandmother’s place out in Apache Junction until I get it emptied out, then renting somewhere, I guess.”
“That’s way the hell out there. Why don’t you stay in our guesthouse?”
“Seriously?” They had a great location, which would help with whatever job he got. “That would be great.”
“Absolutely. You’ll be doing us a favor.”
“How’s that?” he said, taking a drink of the seltzer water he’d poured.
“Isn’t it obvious? Emma needs a babysitter.”
Noah choked on the water, but he was smiling. Smiling big.
“OOOH! OOOH! CAN I HAVE a Popsicle, Uncle Noah?” Emma asked from the backseat of his Jeep. He’d offered to drop her off at day care to save Cindi time, since he was headed to the downtown ASU office. “You get one and only one. After school. Your mom said.”
“Pullleeeeze, Uncle Noah?” Hanging out with the pint-size tornado two nights ago so that her parents could have a date, he’d unknowingly broken Cindi’s one-Popsicle-a-day rule. Now the little terror figured him for an easy mark. She was correct.
He swung over to the ice cream truck she’d spotted. “What flavor?”
“Grape! Purply-purple! Yay! I love you, Uncle Noah!”
“Food does not equal love, little girl. That’s half the reason we have an epidemic in childhood obesity. You’ll have to bite it down, no licking, so it’s all gone by the time we get there, or the other kids will feel left out.”
She nodded, eager to please now that she’d wrapped him around her pinkie. He was a sucker for those big eyes of hers. When she smiled, they lit up like two blue flashlights in her elfin face. Had to be some biological wiring to make sure you didn’t leave your offspring in the dust of the veldt when lions were on the prowl. Whatever it was, it worked like a charm.
He parked in the strip mall where the day-care center was and went to open Emma’s door. “Good lord, look at you.” Her mouth was purple and two rivulets of juice streaked her arm to her elbow. “We’ll clean you up inside so they don’t report your parents to Child Protective Services.”
“What’s protector service?”
“Sort of the police who look out for children in trouble.”
“I’m not in trouble, Uncle Noah,” she said, giving him a look of pure disdain. “You are if Mommy finds out.”
“Then let’s keep it our little secret.”
She made a crisscross over her heart, then undid the belt on her car seat—she was better at it than he was. He set her on the sidewalk, then grabbed her glittery pink backpack, which weighed twenty pounds because she’d crammed half her toy chest into it before they left. You never knew when you might need a plastic pony or a comb the size of a toenail.
He pushed open the glass door of the place. No one stood at the reception desk and he spotted the restroom sign, so he headed that way, Emma clacking in the wooden shoes her mother had reluctantly let her wear.
The place was bright—painted yellow and purple with jungle flowers. One side of the hallway was a photo studio behind a glass wall. Eyes of a Child was lettered in gold on the door. He glanced inside. Huge framed prints of babies, toddlers and young children were everywhere. The photos were strikingly good.
The photographer, her back to him, was snapping a close-in shot of a little boy sitting on a giant ABC block in front of a bright blue backdrop. The woman rose and turned his way. He did a double take.
It was Mel Ramirez. Mel? He’d expected she’d be in Uganda by now, taking world-stopping photos for a wire service, but here she was snapping kiddie candids. How odd.
She looked startled to see him—her eyes wide, her lips parted.
They stood, staring at each other through the glass, neither moving for long seconds. Mel. Melodía. The fired-up angel he’d spent that last weekend with. He’d pictured her a million times, dreamed her twice that. He wasn’t sure he wasn’t dreaming her now. “Uncle Noooo-aaaah, I want to gooooo.” Emma leaned back hard, struggling to escape his grip. He released her, his gaze still glued to Mel. He had to go in and talk to her. What the hell would he say?
CHAPTER FOUR
NOAH PUSHED THROUGH the door into the photo studio. “Mel.”
“Noah.” She smiled an uncertain smile.
He picked up her scent, that sweet peppery perfume, and was swamped by the memory of her from so long ago. They breathed at each other for a few seconds. “I didn’t realize you were in Phoenix,” she said finally.
“Just got here a week ago.”
“How are you?” She glanced at his leg, so he knew she’d noticed his limp.
“Good.” He straightened his shoulder. He tended to hunch to protect the weakened arm. “You?”
“I was sorry about