Not much sex. Little intimacy. It had started with an argument they’d had when Luke was two. She’d revealed she’d stopped her birth control pills on purpose when they were dating because she’d wanted to get married! He’d been unwilling to let his own marriage disintegrate the way his parents’ had and he’d held on to hope that he and Kelly could fix whatever was wrong. He’d been determined to make sure Luke’s life wouldn’t be marred by divorce the way his had.
But he’d never quite gotten over the pain of her lie.
Mikala didn’t say much as she pointed out the fifth-grade classrooms and the arts center. A few kids waved at her as the bell rang and students headed for their buses. She stopped to introduce him to one of the teachers and then they made their way to a room at the end of the hall.
When they stepped inside, Dawson realized this was Mikala’s domain. There was a keyboard, a box of tambourines, several large bright balls and several recorders on the top of a bookshelf. A chord chart hung on one wall and photographs of dancers on another.
“You’re part-time but you have your own office?”
“Basically I’m an independent contractor. This room is in the older part of the building with thick walls, so it’s perfect for music therapy. I coordinate my sessions with the guidance counselor and I also sub when the music teacher’s sick.”
“You’re one busy lady—private clients, this and helping your aunt with the B and B.”
“I like to keep busy. That keeps me out of trouble.”
He had a feeling Mikala didn’t get into trouble very often. He found himself way too curious about how she lived her life. “Have you ever been in trouble?”
“You mean besides the night of the prom?”
“Yes.”
She looked over to her desk as if the subject made her uncomfortable, as if in some way his question had something to do with them. “I don’t look for trouble, Dawson. I keep my life uncomplicated.”
Had it always been that way? Because of what had happened on prom night? In high school they’d seemed to have an undeniable bond. But they’d both backed away from it … until the night he’d rescued her. Had she had lovers the past fifteen years? Many? All of that was too personal to ask. After all, they really didn’t know each other now.
Then why did it feel as if they did?
Dropping the subject because he saw she wanted to, he remarked, “Luke’s always gravitated toward music, though I don’t know why.”
“Music is a great way for kids to express themselves. It stimulates and relaxes—” She stopped and smiled. “Don’t get me started. I like what I do.”
“So why music therapy instead of teaching?”
Quiet for a few moments, Mikala seemed to hesitate. Dawson guessed she didn’t reveal her innermost thoughts and motives to many people. She hadn’t changed completely from the quiet, deep-thinking girl she’d been.
Finally she explained, “I’d planned to teach. But then one of my professors in college—she was a violinist—had a friend who was in an accident and fell into a coma. Dorothy visited every day. She played her violin for her. But then she got to thinking about important events in her friend’s life. She found the music that had been played at Cheryl’s wedding and played the song Cheryl and her husband had danced to. And Cheryl woke up! Dorothy had been so excited that she told me about it. Was it coincidence she woke up during that song? No one will ever know. But the hope that idea carried was amazing. I think I decided that day I wanted to do more than just teach music.”
Dawson witnessed the glistening emotion in Mikala’s eyes that the story brought up in her.
It was only there a short time, though, as she crossed to her desk and fiddled with the corner of a paper on her blotter. “I seem to remember you played the guitar. Do you still?”
That guitar had been packed away for a long time. “I haven’t picked it up in years.”
“Why not?”
“No time.”
At that she crinkled her nose.
Moving close enough to touch her, he asked, “What was that for?”
“We make time for what we want to make time for.”
He didn’t agree with that. “Sometimes there are demands on our time and we can’t do what we want.”
“I don’t know, Dawson. We all prioritize. You said you were working long hours and didn’t spend much time with Luke, but when you did, you enjoyed it. So what kept you from spending more time with him? I mean, why didn’t you make him a priority?”
He couldn’t tell if Mikala specifically meant to or not, but she was getting under his skin. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like the years-old attraction he was experiencing toward her or the way she was probing. Instinctively he knew she wouldn’t accept “work” as an answer, so he really thought about what she’d asked.
He gave an honest answer that caused his gut to burn. “I didn’t like the strain between me and Kelly that last year before she died.” He shook his head. “When I came into the house, she left.” That was hard to admit to anyone, especially Mikala. But he’d already realized she wouldn’t accept anything less than complete honesty.
To his relief she didn’t ask more questions about his marriage. “Did you do things together as a family?”
Dawson didn’t know if Mikala the therapist was asking, or Mikala the friend. He gave a shrug. “Not usually. I drove Luke to his Little League games. Kelly took him to his music lessons. I played catch with him in the backyard. She took him on play dates.”
“That happens with a lot of parents,” Mikala said, seeming to understand.
He didn’t feel any judgment from her and that made him feel less defensive. “I wish I knew how to get Luke looking forward to moving here.”
“Does he like animals? Has he ever asked for a pet, a dog, maybe?”
He took another step closer to Mikala. “You really do know kids.”
She laughed, a sound that resonated with him, that made his heart ache a little. Because he hadn’t known much laughter in the past two years.
“I’m good at what I do, Dawson. Besides, I get around. I often babysit for Clay and Celeste’s little girl, Abby.”
“Clay has emailed me photos and video clips. She’s a charmer.”
“Yes, she is.”
He noticed a wistfulness in Mikala’s voice. Did she want children of her own? Did she feel a biological clock ticking? Why hadn’t she married before now?
Veering away from that train of thought, he said, “I’m considering getting Luke a dog. It’s a good idea after we settle in. Luke’s old enough now to be responsible.”
“Did you have pets?” she asked with a smile.
Dawson wished he’d had a pet. Maybe his house wouldn’t have seemed so cold. “No, no pets. Dad was always at the mill. Mom involved herself in clubs and charity work. She raised money for a lot of causes.”
“As an only child, you must have had their full attention.”
He gave an offhanded laugh. “Yep, full attention.” He wasn’t going to say more. After all, Mikala didn’t have to know everything about him in order to help his son. No need at all. She didn’t need to know that his parents’ marriage had been cold, that they’d seemed to live separate lives, that they had seemed to stay together for convenience sake, for his sake or maybe for the sake of their finances.
This room seemed to magnify everything they were saying to each other,