The word drifted between them, strangely poignant.
Rafael stared down into her eyes, seemingly baffled. She met his gaze firmly, unflinching. Did he know he was feeding her strength with his hold? she thought. Why didn’t he pull away?
She didn’t want him to pull away. She had a feeling that if she did… Well, the world was a huge and scary place. To think about going back…to relive the terror…
She couldn’t do it alone. She had to have an ally.
And this man could be an ally. She’d grown up enormously over the last five years. Men like Kass… Well, he’d taught her a hard life lesson but she’d learned it well. Never again would she throw her heart in the ring but, as well as that, she’d also learned to judge. In these last few years she’d learned who her true friends were. And this man…
This man was trustworthy. There were things in his background she didn’t understand. There were shadows—real shadows—and they must be linked to his revulsion at taking on the Prince Regent role, but the sensation that he was solid, that he was a man of his word, was growing rather than receding.
His disinclination to take on the Prince Regency did him no disservice in her eyes. How could anyone want such a job?
How could she return to that lifestyle?
‘It’s an awful thing you’re asking me to do,’ she whispered. ‘To go back and be part of royalty again. But you’ve brought the only enticement that could ever get me there—my son. I have to be deeply, profoundly grateful, and I am. But not enough to do this on my own, Rafael. I need you there.’
‘You don’t need me.’
‘Well, maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t need anyone,’ she conceded. ‘I’ve made sure of that over these last five years. But this is different. It’s not you personally. I need your presence. I need there to be a sovereign to take the limelight from Matty. Maybe you made a mistake bringing him here, offering what you’ve offered. But you have offered it. And…and I made a call this afternoon. I phoned immigration.’
‘You what?’
‘I can keep him right here, whether you say so or not, and under my terms,’ she said, jutting her chin forward in a dumb gesture of defiance. ‘A contract signed in Alp de Ciel holds no weight here when it comes to child custody rights. I’m Matty’s mother and he has no father. Matty is in Australia. You brought him to me—his Australian mother—for which I’m profoundly thankful but now…you can’t change your mind and take him back. The laws of this country will support me.’
He stared down at her, baffled. Whatever route he’d planned this conversation to take, it clearly wasn’t this one.
‘I only wanted you to have your son back,’ he said and he sounded so bewildered that she smiled.
‘You did. It was lovely of you.’
‘I assumed you’d want to come back.’
‘That was sweet of you too, but silly.’
‘I don’t believe,’ he said cautiously, ‘that silly comes into it. Or sweet either, for that matter.’
‘Regardless…sweet or silly…you will stay permanently in Alp de Ciel?’
‘Hell, Kelly…’
‘I know,’ she said. ‘That’s royalty. I hate it and I want no part in it but maybe I’m prepared to take it on for Matty’s sake. He does stand to inherit one day and I realize it’d be very much better if he was brought up in the environment he’ll have to face. But for you… Like Matty, you don’t have a choice. You’re Prince Regent, like it or not. We do this together, Rafael, or not at all.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Then neither can I,’ she said implacably, and waited.
He stared down into her eyes. She met his gaze, unflinching. He didn’t really look like his cousin, she thought. The resemblance was only superficial. Kass’s eyes had been piercing, brutal, cold. Rafael’s…They were troubled now. Shadowed.
She knew she was forcing him to go where he had no wish to tread, but she had no choice. All afternoon the alternatives had been slamming at her, one after another.
There wasn’t an alternative. She knew it.
Rafael knew it.
‘You will take some of the limelight,’ he said, sounding desperate, and she smiled.
‘They can photograph me if they want, but I’ll bet you have women on your arm more glamorous than I’ll ever be.’
‘I don’t do glamour.’
‘Says the man who just walked into my cottage wearing a dress sword.’
‘Kelly…’
‘Rafael.’
‘You really are serious.’
‘I really am serious.’
‘So I get to stay in Alp de Ciel until Matty turns twenty-five?’
‘There you go, then,’ she said, trying to sound cheerful. ‘It’s only a twenty-year sentence. Whereas I…’
‘You can leave any time.’
‘Sure,’ she said. ‘You let Matty sleep in my bed and then you tell me I can leave any time. My sentence is as long as yours, Rafael, maybe even longer.’
There was a loaded pause. They were still holding hands. It was as if the urgency of their conversation required physical contact as well as verbal.
‘Fine,’ he said at last. ‘Okay, then. But it is blackmail.’
‘On both our sides,’ she said gently. ‘We’re forced into this.’
‘The palace doesn’t need us both.’
‘No,’ she said wearily. ‘But as it’s both or neither then we might as well get on with it. And Matty… Matty needs someone. I’m hoping it might be me, but for now he needs you. I’ll fight for that too, Rafael. I’ll fight for what my son needs.’
It caught him. Something in her voice made him pause. He tugged sharply at her hands, forcing her to look up at him.
‘Kelly, it’s not really a life sentence,’ he said.
‘You know it is.’
‘It might even be fun.’
‘Says the man who wants to flee to Manhattan.’
‘We could make it fun.’
‘Like how?’
His mouth twisted. ‘Don’t ask me.’ He glanced at his wrist-watch and grimaced. ‘I need to go. Any minute now the dinner will end and there’ll be questions as to why I’m not in the royal bed.’
‘Matty will miss you when he wakes.’
‘Remind him you’re his mother,’ he said softly. Then, at the look on her face, he said more urgently, ‘It’s the truth. You are his mother. You love him already and his love will come.’
‘I don’t think…’
‘No, don’t think,’ he said urgently. ‘That’s the way of madness. One day at a time. Starting now. We can do this.’ And then, before she knew what he was about, he’d caught her chin with his fingers and forced her face up to meet his. His mouth lowered on hers in a swift, demanding kiss.
It shocked them both. She could feel it, like a stab of white-hot heat coming from nowhere. It lasted seconds, hardly even that, and then it was over but, as he released her, her hands flew to her lips and she gazed up at him in bewilderment.
Where had that come from? Why